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SnowLeFae

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About SnowLeFae

  • Birthday 12/29/1965

Converted

  • Gender
    Feline
  • Location
    Portland, Or
  • Interests
    Music, Reading, Sex
  • How familiar are you with witchcraft?
    Over 4 decades
  • Have you explored other paths?
    Absolutely, and extensively
  • Have you ever worked with Traditional Witchcraft?
    Yes. Ritual, spells, life
  • What does Traditional Witchcraft mean to you?
    Traditional Witchcraft, for me, is an intimate relationship with everything, one that evolves throughout time, and through interaction with others. Simply, a deeper connection with nature. Immersion and empowerment of the feminine.
  • How long have you worked with witchcraft in general?
    Over 4 decades
  • What brought you to our site?
    Web search
  • What do you expect to get from this site, and what do you expect to contribute to this forum?
    I would love to find inspiration. I would love to find like minded people, and to grow from those experiences. Being solitary, I can only share what I have experienced, and hope others will find something inspiring/helpful within that.
  • Do you belong to any other online witchcraft sites?
    The Pagan Forum, but have not posted in several years.
  • What are your strongest points in witchcraft?
    The intermingling of Craft, science, and the experiences of my Self.
  • What are your weakest points in witchcraft?
    Allowing old scars to sleep, and thus embrace new ideas I may not have been as open to earlier in life

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  1. For me, my greatest tool is my Self, be it an aspect of Self, or in its entirety. Beyond that, it is anything I feel in-tune with. Or, sometimes, something I am not in-tune with. I go completely by "feel". I have not ever come up with a better word, though I have tried, but for me it is things I "invest" in. Spells/rituals for me are... investments. Perhaps something I wish to make manifest. For me, everything has a, mmm, "vibrational quality" to it. If I "invest" in something, or use something as a means of investing, it is simply a conduit, attuning vibrations, synchronizing I suppose. (sigh) Tough to explain. The more I invest in something, the more valuable it is to me. Something that is co-invested (myself and another person, animal... even flora) has great value as well. It could be a stick a dog that was family happily brought to me, and I felt its value, then I might keep it, hone it, etc. A tree I might have sat in and become friends with might offer a branch. Or, it could be a rock I happen to find. To me, they are extensions of myself, and a conduit or bridge that might allow me to attune with something I might otherwise feel less capable of "touching". Like I said, tough to explain... Snow* :)
  2. I know this is an older thread, but it was actually among the first five to ten threads I saw here. I have let it sit in the back of my mind, hoping to have a short, succinct, and somehow brilliant, reply result from it. Instead, I am just going to babble :) I am Autistic. I am 53. I am also quite lucky, insofar as I have been able to cope, mask, and survive relatively well over the years. It has been a long, torturous life, hence "survive". Being female, for me, has been a lifetime of building skills and methods to try and not be killed, or worse, just for that. Being Autistic, I exhibit behaviours that, if left unchecked, add another layer of "target" to me. Maybe that is part of my being Autistic as well, to examine, observe, compare, and then utilize. Spock was the first TV character that I saw that made me think, "OMG, he could be my brother!!!" Deanna Troi on Star Trek: TNG was the first TV character that made me go wide eyed, and say, "OMG! She could be my sister!!!" And then cry, because I felt so alone on this planet, unable to get out in the universe and try to find others like me. Luckily, as time moved along, the internet opened up a LOT of doors. I got to meet other Autistic female adults. And from that group, I got to meet others similar to me. Those commonalities that were most intriguing to me involved SPD (Sensory Processing Disorder), and Empathy. SPD is a mixed bag of fun. It is different for every person who has it. In my case, and others as well, all of my senses are beyond heightened. I cannot wear many fabric types, I cannot eat lots of foods (texture, taste), etc. I can smell food that is not... right. Example: Thanksgiving, fresh turkey. I refused to eat mine, because to me, it did not smell right. My step-father was outraged, and I finally said, "Well, if you think it is fine, then you eat it. I will not" I was forced to sit there well into the night, but there was no way I would give in. I was finally allowed to leave without eating it when my family began getting sick. I did not say, "I told you so" to any of them. It simply baffled me that no one else could tell it was bad food. With heightened senses, it is a double-edge. It can be torturous in some cases, yet in other cases, I require MORE input to achieve pleasure from the experience. Example: carnival rides. From a VERY young age, I was drawn to the most extreme rides. A simple merry-go-round would not cut it. That was more annoying than enjoyable. I want to dive from the highest board, to ride the fastest ride, to ride the tallest most powerful wave, etc. To me, and to the women I mentioned earlier, this goes a step further. "Empath" is a word/label that, IMO, gets thrown around a bit too easily these days. But, I will nod once more to Deanna Troi from Star Trek: TNG. I think that we all have the ability to "sense the Everything". Jung had his "Collective Unconscious". This is that, and more. Once again, sci-fi to the rescue, this time Star Wars. I remember seeing the first film in 1977. "The Force"? Yeah, I know... Tao, Buddhism, etc. All of these things left me in awe (that someone else must know we exist), but also frustrated, and still very much alone. When I was 6, I was in Bamburger's in Short Hills, NJ. Me, my Mother, and my two brothers (both younger), shopping. We had not gotten too far into Bamburger's when I felt this... ewww. Like, an emotion, or some mental something... something... that "tasted" bad. The further into Bamburger's we went, the worse it got. I asked my Mom if we coudl leave, and of course was told no. I persisted, finally saying I wanted a hot pretzel, was really hungry, and that I wanted to use the bathroom at the food court, not in here. Just before she gave in, I found the source of this foulness: there were two men sitting on a bench, and there was nothing visually off about them. But... they were... "wrong" to me. Bad. That evening, on the news, there was a piece about 2 men who had held up a clerk at Bamburger's with guns. The picture of the two men, arrested a short time later, was the two I saw. I recognized their clothing, and the hair on the one. Example 2, years later. In my 20s, and moved to Daytona with another girl. We got there, and she had friends come over the night we moved in. One of them was the property manager. I was sitting on the sectional in the living room, and was quiet. And then I began to cry. My friend noticed, and she asked what was wrong. I told her I was sorry,it is nothing, I just had this really bad feeling. She knew how I was with stuff, so she said it was probably just being in a new place, maybe if I tried to get some sleep. I said no, I could not possibly sleep, it was this really bad feeling, something bad in that room. Her property manager friend finally came over, and when I explained once again, she got wide-eyed, and said, "OMG... wow... I never thought to mention, but... several months ago, the couple that was living here, the boyfriend shot the girlfriend, and then himself, in the living room, close to where you are sitting". The "you" being me, where I was sitting. Yeah, needless to say, we got a different unit. Unfortunately, I kept hitting spots in this complex where bad things happened, and had to leave. We... these women I mentioned, and myself... it is like this sense is active enough in us that we notice it. ALWAYS. For some/many of us that have SPD, when it is extreme, we tend to shut down. It is like being bombarded by something... eventually, you just shut down. Some people will simply pass out, or worse. It is not a lack of empathy for us, it is the opposite. We have simply hit a point where our brains say, "Enough is enough, already". For those of us that have awareness of this other sense, similar to Deanna Troi, it is also a mixed bag. It can serve as a warning. But, in a crowd? It can be AMAZING! Or, it can be brutal. Another example: playing in bands, the crowd is usually there to see us. They are there for our music. So, when we play our music, they get happy... excited... and they put off an incredible amount of... very, very tasty "energy". It is better than any drug, better than any food. But, like when you eat too much of a great food, it can still be taxing. After playing a set for a great crowd, I MUST spend 10-15mins minimum by myself, in a darker room. Some of that has to bleed off. Any experience that brings or draws joy from/with others does this. BUT! Negative emotions? Poison. So, take that random crowd. For instance, going to a mall. In certain stores, there are more positive vibes, and I do well. But if it is crowded in general? Mixed emotions, and that means I will "fill up" too quickly, and the "poisons" that are amidst it all are VERY taxing. Interestingly, some of us can also "push" this back out to a person, or a small number of people. Probably an awful comparison, but... think, mmm, fairy dust. With me, it is even more apparent if I can touch a person. Most will dismiss it with, "Oh, wow, you have a great touch." But, I have played with my intent, and seen the results. Autistic, so I love to experiment, I love to discern, to discover. The ever-curious. To bring it back to the original topic, and some of the other replies... Yes, I would say that, in general, every Autistic person I have known feels they are "Other". Wrong planet. Placed here by someone/something, to be among this alien species known as "human". Logic and reason come before societal niceties. Logic and reason simply come first. Well, except when SPD is involved, but then again... we see our reactions to everything when considering our SPD as being completely logical/reasonable. Why would ANYONE react differently? :) BTW- my nickname here? The LeFae part means "Of The Fae". I have referred to myself as Fae for eons. It was the best non-human label I could find, and oddly enough, I had not ever heard about changeling/fairy child swapping, etc. So there is big long, rambling post. Train of thought, I suppose. Who knows if it was what I meant to write. Part of me has been afraid to post, lest I violate some rule against replying to older posts, or who knows what. I just saw this thread, and it hit home pretty hard, so I figured why not share. :) Snow :)
  3. I have always been attuned to/with flora, as well as fauna. As a kid, I would climb trees, sit in them, read, chat with them, touch them, close my eyes and just feel their pulse, their rhythm, their life flow. I could not understand how others did not feel that, but could feel it with other animals (and some people not even with other humans, let alone other animals). For me, everything always had this common pulse, or energy, or whatever you want to call it. When I was traveling a lot (away more than 8 months of time each year... a few weeks away, one or so home, repeat), it was tough to have any plants in my home. Once i was traveling less, I always had lots of plants, and I would sing to them, hum, just kind of... commune with them I suppose. Hard to explain. Sometimes I hear their names, or something they accept as my name for them. Certain plants/trees I have considered friends. I hope they considered me one as well. Snow :)
  4. I began teaching myself to play piano just before my 5th birthday. My Mother's adoptive parents had a Xmas party every year a week or so before Xmas, and this lady would play the piano, everybody singing. I told my Grandmother that I wanted to play piano too, so she gave me a couple of "Teach Yourself Piano" type books. I still piano/keyboards. But, guitar became my primary love. Got an acoustic for my 14th birthday, and then bought an electric, got into a band, and from there it became a life of music. I also play bass, and learned enough to become a decent audio engineer, and also running FOH (live "front of house" mixer) for several touring bands. I toured playing guitar in a bunch of bands, and played bass in a few. Being female in the music industry has been interesting, but that is another conversation :) The money was not very good at times, so I branched off into a career that made significantly more money. Then I got in a motorcycle accident that left me a paraplegic. I never fully left the music industry, so after I recovered enough, I contacted people I knew in the music industry, and got back into doing freelance testing work, and recording. Aside form those 2 careers, music is definitely a major hobby as well, plus reading (started reading at age 3, has been a HUGE love of mine since), and a very slow try at writing (fiction). I also create maps (levels) for an FPS video game in my spare time (ideas pop into my head, and I sit down and create them in a program). I used to be VERY active before that accident, very rarely at home.There were times I was not even in my home city for 6 months at a time, or more. Although I used to be around lots of people at times, I always tended to isolate from that crowd with one or two people that felt... in sync with me. Now, I can go months at a time without leaving my house. Snow :)
  5. My Mom was adopted, and was part of the spearhead from the group (ALMA Society) that got laws changed to allow sealed adoption records to be opened for medical reasons. As a result, she got to meet her birth parents, and their lineage is actually simple. Her Mom is full Cherokee, born and raised in/around Cherokee, NC, and the Qualla Boundary. Her Dad is Welsh, with some Swiss. My Dad's Mom was Irish, from a tiny village called Cavan (NOT the one in County Cavan). His father was Welsh, with a little Scotch-Irish in there. His line is the only bit of unsurety. I am not close to my family, so I do not have any great cultural or familial "imprinting" from them. My father's Mother would call me "ridiculous" for my, mmm, attunement with nature, and anything beyond that (Craft) was, well, usually it prompted unkind words, lol. My Mother's Mom liked me, but not he rest of the family, so I unfortunately did not get to spend enough time with her. Snow *
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