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Everything posted by JuniperBaby

  1. That is a great idea! One form of playing card divination uses the jokers as the fool and magician, the only two majors carried over from tarot, and instructs readers to put the deck away with them "guarding" the rest of the deck
  2. I do not dread any cards. The reality of my life is far scarier than what is portrayed in modern Western divination systems created for mainstream consumption. If I don't get a bunch of cards portraying challenges, I don't know what to do with a bunch of cards that are not reflective of the events unfolding. I need advice on HOW to keep MOVING in the midst of challenges and downright chaos and heartbreak. My cards have been such a comfort this week. Many of them are "bad" cards. Moon, surrounded by death, blocked by 8 of cups, crowned by 5 of wands. LOL BUT outcome is 3 of wands, and A of cups is before me. I am to present myself as 9 of wands and my foundation is Justice. Yesterday was 6 of swords. Today is Justice again. No dread of cards; they are my comfort.
  3. One thing I have learned is that not everything silly people do is silly. Silly people do have an occasional good idea. Sometimes, though, that idea needs to be tweaked a bit, to scrape off the silly, and take advantage of the core foundation of it.
  4. Yes, yes, to saying things about ourselves and having them happen. That is what people are trying to tap into with affirmations. It is a part of recovery for many victims to begin to declare who they are instead of others define them. It is part of the "fake it till you make it" concept. It can be a "spell". I'm sure others know more far more about this than me. This puny and pathetic list just scratches the surface. "I am...." is a powerful tool.
  5. I want to clarify that the things I say that people say will get me locked up have NOTHING to do with "witch" stuff. Nothing. It is just that...I AM different. My sense of "right" and "wrong" is different. My basic worldview changed. I am silent in general so so so much more than I ever was. That has been noted by people, too, with suspicion and reproof. Even without words, my body language and facial expressions are different, and I laugh at different things. Spiritual practices change people. They change you beyond your spiritual practice. You can never say a single word about what you are up to and people will still know you changed. Silence is funny. When silent, you observe more. You connect to people and your environment differently. And when you do talk, people pay a lot more attention to what you do say, so you need to be extra aware of what you are saying.
  6. I recently lost almost all of my possessions AGAIN. Six weeks ago, I moved into my current home with just what two friends and myself were able to carry in just one trip in the elevator. I bought a few X-large very pretty cardboard boxes for storage and to make my place look less empty. Two of them are piled next to my bed as a kind of makeshift bedside table. The top one has all my spiritual stuff in it. I don't usually leave stuff out on top of the box for very long. As soon as I am done, everything goes back inside the box. The box has very little in it, but I don't need much and everything is in one place when I need it. I don't like clutter. I don't like people in my private business. I keep all of my few possessions tucked away from prying eyes. Of course that seem to make people want to look and pry more than ever. I have a laundry basket almost hidden in the corner near my desk with library books and DVDs in it, and wouldn't you know people look in it and start reading the titles aloud.
  7. Practicing resulted in changes in many areas of my life. The changes in those areas changed my practicing. And around and around it goes. I am unrecognizable from who I was. People gape at me. Some laugh. Some are concerned. Some are happy for me. Some are envious. Some tell me I'm going to get locked up, if I don't keep my mouth shut. But as Jaeson said, I am not who they say I am, so I don't put much stock in their reactions other than as confirmation that I did change.
  8. For now, I find it easier to keeps scraps and pieces of paper in a box.
  9. Interesting. I don't have any significant bonds and relationships with kindred that have yule expectations--at least not yet. I find "traditional" to be so interesting, because traditions are so different from person to person, family to family, and culture to culture. As always, after I think on what you say for awhile, it...awakens questions, questions that unfold over months to come. I'm already starting to have a few questions. Hmm. Thanks for sharing. This has been a thought provoking thread for me.
  10. I am such a "write to learn" person. I just figured out something in my card reading system, that I have been stuck on for awhile, dealing with activity levels at different times of the year. Analyzing MY activity level at the different times of the year, compared to the activity of the Earth and other people on it has been quite enlightening! Thank you to everyone who made my participation in this thread possible!
  11. I agree. Day by day, we "do" to the "best" of our ability. Over time I've developed a more gentle definition of "best". "Best" used to always include pain; now it seldom does. I'm usually enjoying "best" now. And "best" has more to do with ME, and less to do with what OTHERS want and expect. I always end out "doing" more for Imbolc than Winter Solstice, but I can't say that Imbolc ends out being more significant, because of that. The events arrive rhythmically each year, and I often respond to them in the same rhythms, some more actively or passively than others. Now that I think about it, don't some traditions focus on the cross quarter days and NOT actively celebrate the solstices and equinoxes any more actively than a moon? I don't know. Winter Solstice is a weird time, when defined by modern American expectations, by people of all paths. It arrives each year awash with expectations and memories, and people are exuding so much hope and pain. There is SO much going on around me, that it's hard for me to start ADDING even more things. Imbolc provides so much more room, and I can feel more then, when I don't have so much armor on. The cacophony quiets, and I FEEL the new year, down inside my very core.
  12. The more secure I become in my own ways, the more tolerance I have for others attempting to find their own way. If they seem happy and whole, I rejoice for them. If they seem tortured by ways they think they should practice, I grieve for them. Mostly I shop at the grocery store, hardware store, camping and hiking store, and the art store. I can't think of anything I would need at a new age store. When I do buy a book now, I read it like a paperback romance novel-quickly and lightly. Kindle versions are fine for this, as I won't be taking any notes or using it as a reference, any more than I use a romance novel as reference for sex. Most books--of all kinds--are just diversions and idea starters. I don't know. The path I'm traveling right now is quiet and passive, but...stronger and deeper. I don't believe that passive is synonymous for weak. I know a lot of others here have no use for the 4 elements, but I've always connected with them. I guess I'm into a earth element period: passive, cold and dry, but certainly not weak. I sometimes feel like a pile of rocks that others are blowing over, while I just watch, and burrow even deeper down. Maybe I'm depressed, but I think it's FAR more than that. I just feel like it's a necessary time in the cycles of life. It's a balance to what has come before. I don't talk about the specifics of my path with anyone in real-life anymore, and even very little online. I haven't felt the need to, anymore than I feel the need to talk about my sex life. I generally don't ask them about their path or their sex life either; frankly I'm not interested. If they seem to be in trouble and ask for my advice, then I will ask them questions designed to help them help themselves move onto a less destructive path, but that's about it.
  13. I didn't DO anything, but it is so comforting to me just to OBSERVE the never-ending cycles. Even when I'm too out of it to observe the moment a significant event took place, it's comforting to recognize that it HAS passes and to think about which one is next. And I make plans I never keep, but... doing that is comforting too, as long as I accept that there is nothing wrong in just letting the cycles carry me. The cycles don't need me to keep them turning. I can just hitch a ride, when I'm low. I try to just let it all soak into me, like water fills a dry sponge.
  14. I'm still my "younger self" despite being 45, but...today I learned: If you need to ask someone how to do it, you probably are not ready to do it yet.
  15. Heks with this tattoo. I hope it brings you nothing but good.
  16. I've recently had lots of urges to bury things in the roots of trees. I was choosing the tree by...I'm not sure what. I guess just by intuition and my past relationship with it. I hadn't thought to seriously use tree correspondences when burying things. I was so busy thinking whether I should release it into the river or ocean or earth, that I wasn't able to make the jump to picking the tree with more intent and research. I've more and more, been looking to use nature in it's own environment, rather than bringing it home, to do my work. Thank you Wyldwood Garden for resurrecting this thread.
  17. I'm still a newb, but I have to keep reminding myself of this. I don't need to rush this. And the stuff I stick with, mostly comes so easily, and just falls into place. Anything that feels forced is usually something I later abandon. Unlike with Christianity, it it feel bad I can skip it, and if it feels good I can embrace it. I can trust myself instead of fighting myself. I've only got 3 years of experience in this, so don't have much information yet for my totally newb self. You know, it's funny, but the ultraconservative Amish and Mennonites now tell their seekers to take things slowly. The best successful conversions are among the slow and steady converts, and the over exuberant ones are almost never around 10 years later. Previously in Christianity, and now in witchcraft, I've learned not to put the cart before the horse. Some things really need to be tackled in a certain order, if you don't wan to run yourself over.
  18. Thank you everyone, who takes the time to contribute to threads like this.
  19. My laptop screen is teeny tiny, so I am having trouble making out some of the details, but I like what I can see of it :-)
  20. When I am really in a bad place, I have a humpback whale recording that I use to block out my environment . When I first started listening to it, I found it annoying, but then it started working like a drug, in a way I don't understand. Humpback whale sounds are very LOW and as a trauma victim, low sounds can ground me. I was also born in an island and have a LOT of water in my history in so many ways. I don't know :-0 I'll often combine this with playing solitaire with my playing cards and paying attention to which cards are in key positions of play and use that as divination. Then I will often use the cards to do a bit of Work. In the past I have experimented a bit with vocal toning. The tones vibrate through my body. I can FEEL the difference between the low and high tones, when I make them. I want to give this some more attention before deciding to seriously work with this technique or to discard it. I purchased a healing drum kit, that also deserves some attention, before I decide whether or not I want to adopt any sort of drumming into my Ways. I have a harmonica and like the vocal toning, I can FEEL the notes in my mouth. I have no desire to look outwardly witchy, or ONLY use OLD ways. When I listen to people talk about the old ways, I am looking for them to clue me in to what is the meat of their practice, not the individual spices THEIR family has experimented with, and now personalized. But if I decide the harmonica is just not quite right, I would maybe like to make my own clay ocarina. They can fill up with spit when you play them though :-( So this is some of what I am playing around with :-0
  21. Thank you all for the ideas, links, conversation, etc. It is all helpful. Often as I'm posting a question on a topic, I don't even know exactly what to ask and it's always so nice when people talk about the topic, even wider than my question. Thanks! :-) I've refrained from posting in the tools thread, because I am in such a learning stage, but I smile when I read the other posts as my list of tools grows. My newest additions are shoelaces and the sun :-)
  22. I ordered Everyday Sun Magic from Amazon a couple days ago. I put in and out of my cart like five times, before I finally bought it. I was so indecisive about buying it. But I'm fascinated with the sun right now, and...well...it's on that topic :-0
  23. Nope, doctor says no sunscreen unless I'm badly burning. She says osteoporosis will be claiming more lives than skin cancer soon for many of us in the northern states. Many doctors here are now advising against overuse of sunscreen in general and especially for patients with osteoporosis. She tells me to go bake. I want to use the sun more in my Ways, as well as medicinally in scientifically proven ways. I'm going to have to do a search here and Google about using the sun.
  24. Heks, I am sorry you are feeling such pressure to have this done :-( I think I understand a bit, but I think most, if not all, the churches I've been to, would not think it would prevent me from rejoining. They would just raise money to help me have it removed. They would be far more freaked out about my divorce than a witch tattoo. They fear anything that would cause the young people to "stray" far more than anything so "bad" that they could use to warn the young people of as a reason to stay in the protection of the church and it's rules.They would say, see, first it's colored stocking and taking off the head covering, and before you know it, you have strayed so far that you turn to witchcraft. But God is good and calls back his own and forgives. Good luck, whatever you decide! :-)
  25. I'm feeling better already this evening, than I was. Evil is not a new thing for me. It...confuses me. I think I understand pure evil easier than I understand evil from people that otherwise act normal or even heroic. And how evil often coincides with with acts of heroism and beauty. And how much normalacy is often taking place around the evil act. And how brave and accepting some victims are. And so many other things. I have been thinking about death in general today. And even death of animals and plants. When I get time I want to post about my experiences petting the fuzzy autumn plants yesterday and how that experience awakened something in me. I could not have cut those fuzzy plants and brought them home, any more than I could have cut the heads off the ducks and brought those home. So...this situation with the video, strangely, is mixed up with harvesting of all types, plant and animal and a sudden understanding of Lammas, and I don't even know what else. I have had an awakening of sorts and am feeling and noticing things I didn't before. I'm already kind of out of sorts, so have no idea how I'm going to react to this tonight and over the next few days. Thanks for being so nice Wytchywoman! :-)
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