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Empaths

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Totally agree. 

 

I can't connect to someone I've never met or have no idea even exists unless I can bounce off of and connect through someone else who has a link to them that I also have a link with.

 

 

 

Agreed.  I can't connect with everyone or just anyone.  For me, there has to be a lunk to them somehow.  But I can get vibes from "new" people I've met, it's just not as strong.

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Totally agree. 

 

I can't connect to someone I've never met or have no idea even exists unless I can bounce off of and connect through someone else who has a link to them that I also have a link with.

 

I agree with this.  In my experience, generally we can only hear from and effect those in our closer circles of interaction.  If someone is too far outside of that circle or network, then there is a weak or non-existent energetic link to that person.  Which means no empathetic link (incoming communication signal) and we can not use that link to send communication or a spell back to that person.  We therefore need to create a link by introducing ourselves to that person, befriending them and/ or employing tag locks or other means to create the energetic link to exploit.  I do think also that proximity creates it own link of sorts  as well.  If one is near the person and they pick up the empathetic radio signal whether or not there is a personal energetic link, then they can still exploit this connection.  A person can send as well as receive, kind of like WIFI. A specific person will just need to be targeted more directly and that can be done by "over looking" or staring and concentrating on the person or else its fair game to received by anyone in the vicinity. At least that what I have experienced and the way I see things. 

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Interesting points!  My two cents:  I believe most humans have the ability to be empathic.  They can pick up the emotions of other people in front of them and are sensitive to energy (pain, anxiety, happiness etc). "Hey that person has bad energy." or "wow this place feels weird."   That's all empathy.   Some have it more than others.  Doesn't necessarily make you an "empath" -- just makes you empathic person.  

 

But I believe true EMPATHS are basically really large sponges that are acutely aware of all kinds of energy, all the time. And feel a lot.  I believe most great artists, actors, musicians, writers, etc are empaths.  Because they feel the pain, the joy…the experiences are not just intellectual-- and therefore they can translate that energy into their work -- which in turn allows others to experience the same. 

 

Then there's the different types of empaths. Negative and Positive.  Negative empaths are filled with, well, negative energy.  They tend to have little personal power - and use their gift for selfish gain.  They are empty and needy and resort to leaching and basically stealing positive energy.  (unintentional psychic vamping or in some cases intentional). I find  run-of-the-mill negative empaths relish in getting a rise out of others -- seeking endless advice they never take -- so they can absorb the life-force. If they don't do that, they've got nothing left but their own shitty energy.  

 

(Side note:  When I was in my early 20's I was drained by a pretty well-known Buddhist Monk - who was the best damn Psy Vamp i'd ever met in my life.  He was a negative empath - except he was damn skilled.  He was practicing under the guise of Buddhism but he was really just a creature stealing life-force for his own magick.  He knew what he was doing -- that's for sure. But he had no personal power - which is why he had to steal it.) 

 

Then there's the Positive Empath - one who has access to quite a bit of energy and loves to help.  They can be healers.  They have a good amount of personal energy and don't need to use others to get it.  

 

So, I feel true empaths have the ability to be super leaches or great healers.  Most good therapists are empaths. And most bad friends are leach empaths. HAHA. 

 

But then there is a Psychic Empath-- which is a gift i believe most natural witches are born with.  To me a psychic empath is one that can read and feel energy of those they might not know or have never even met - simply by connecting with a source that is connected to them. Or by looking at a photo. And a psychic empath can follow that flow of energy and if needed - predict the future based on the direction it's heading.  Since magick is manipulating energy-- it would make sense why witches would be born with that gift. 

 

I also believe most psychic empaths instinctually shield.  

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Interesting points!  My two cents:  I believe most humans have the ability to be empathic.  They can pick up the emotions of other people in front of them and are sensitive to energy (pain, anxiety, happiness etc). "Hey that person has bad energy." or "wow this place feels weird."   That's all empathy.   Some have it more than others.  Doesn't necessarily make you an "empath" -- just makes you empathic person.

 

But I believe true EMPATHS are basically really large sponges that are acutely aware of all kinds of energy, all the time. And feel a lot.  I believe most great artists, actors, musicians, writers, etc are empaths.  Because they feel the pain, the joy…the experiences are not just intellectual-- and therefore they can translate that energy into their work -- which in turn allows others to experience the same. 

 

Then there's the different types of empaths. Negative and Positive.  Negative empaths are filled with, well, negative energy.  They tend to have little personal power - and use their gift for selfish gain.  They are empty and needy and resort to leaching and basically stealing positive energy.  (unintentional psychic vamping or in some cases intentional). I find  run-of-the-mill negative empaths relish in getting a rise out of others -- seeking endless advice they never take -- so they can absorb the life-force. If they don't do that, they've got nothing left but their own shitty energy.  

 

(Side note:  When I was in my early 20's I was drained by a pretty well-known Buddhist Monk - who was the best damn Psy Vamp i'd ever met in my life.  He was a negative empath - except he was damn skilled.  He was practicing under the guise of Buddhism but he was really just a creature stealing life-force for his own magick.  He knew what he was doing -- that's for sure. But he had no personal power - which is why he had to steal it.) 

 

Then there's the Positive Empath - one who has access to quite a bit of energy and loves to help.  They can be healers.  They have a good amount of personal energy and don't need to use others to get it.  

 

So, I feel true empaths have the ability to be super leaches or great healers.  Most good therapists are empaths. And most bad friends are leach empaths. HAHA. 

 

But then there is a Psychic Empath-- which is a gift i believe most natural witches are born with.  To me a psychic empath is one that can read and feel energy of those they might not know or have never even met - simply by connecting with a source that is connected to them. Or by looking at a photo. And a psychic empath can follow that flow of energy and if needed - predict the future based on the direction it's heading.  Since magick is manipulating energy-- it would make sense why witches would be born with that gift. 

 

I also believe most psychic empaths instinctually shield.  

 

I hate to really say that I am an Empath. I meet far to many idiots who think they are empathic and it makes me cringe. I have been hesitant to discuss it to much here but I had to respond to this. I just do not categorize empaths as positive and negative or psychic empaths. That seems ludicrous to me. I have been known to Leach the emotional energies of others for my own reasons and I also have used my empathy in healings and many other selfless and selfish ways. Granted I am no mondo evil mega monk, but I think rarely do people fit into such defined little boxes no matter how sheep like they can be.  

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All magic is a manipulation of energy using the biochemical machine we call the body to do so.  Empathy is just another facet of that; another type of energy that can be manipulated.  I do not think everyone can do this to the same extent as others. If you have been emotionally crippled because of foreign emotions(ie a breakdown), if you have developed a fear of people or places because of this then yeah I would say you have it.  Not everything can be shielded against especially if you don't know you have it in the first place.  I don't subscribe to the labels either.  People that have it, have both sides of it positive and negative.  What you call a psychic empath is actually a part of empathy as (some) people have the ability to tap in to a network of energy and gain information or influence others in that network. In my opinion empathy works in the same respect as telepathy, except one deals with thoughts, the other with emotions. 

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All magic is a manipulation of energy using the biochemical machine we call the body to do so.  Empathy is just another facet of that; another type of energy that can be manipulated.  I do not think everyone can do this to the same extent as others. If you have been emotionally crippled because of foreign emotions(ie a breakdown), if you have developed a fear of people or places because of this then yeah I would say you have it.  Not everything can be shielded against especially if you don't know you have it in the first place.  I don't subscribe to the labels either.  People that have it, have both sides of it positive and negative.  What you call a psychic empath is actually a part of empathy as (some) people have the ability to tap in to a network of energy and gain information or influence others in that network. In my opinion empathy works in the same respect as telepathy, except one deals with thoughts, the other with emotions. 

Ah Thank you for being so eloquent. What she said!

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Maybe not related to being an Empath... but in my case I feel it is, what would you call someone who always knows what someone is like... as in their personality, type of person they are, good or bad, whether they know them or just met them? (This is however, only with people I stop to bother with, I generally avoid people, and of course there have been some I just can't get anything from) Without input from others, or even necessarily speaking to said person. My hubby and I make a game of it now, I'll make note and write down what I felt or seem to know and we "sit" on the info until it reveals itself. I've not been wrong yet. Although I wish I were in most cases. Any ideas? Its a weird quirk but I've had it since puberty. I just know if someone is good or bad, lying or truthful (although some liars are really good at hiding the emotion that goes along with lying) This of course is being within fairly close proximity of them for the most part. 

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Maybe not related to being an Empath... but in my case I feel it is, what would you call someone who always knows what someone is like... as in their personality, type of person they are, good or bad, whether they know them or just met them? (This is however, only with people I stop to bother with, I generally avoid people, and of course there have been some I just can't get anything from) Without input from others, or even necessarily speaking to said person. My hubby and I make a game of it now, I'll make note and write down what I felt or seem to know and we "sit" on the info until it reveals itself. I've not been wrong yet. Although I wish I were in most cases. Any ideas? Its a weird quirk but I've had it since puberty. I just know if someone is good or bad, lying or truthful (although some liars are really good at hiding the emotion that goes along with lying) This of course is being within fairly close proximity of them for the most part. 

 

I cannot get the link to work . . . search the forum for "reading people".  There is a pretty lengthy thread on this topic. 

 

:)

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There is a proclivity amongst 'empaths' to experience only the baser, nasty emotions which roll off people.  This is pure hubris.  I'm sorry.  That is not empathy, that is projection.

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I'm bumping this bc it's an interesting discussion. I'm much the same as Tana describes below (& several others in the thread who apparently are no longer on the site, unfortunately).

 

I've had to be self employed most of my adult life bc I physically cannot handle being around other people & their swirling miasma of emotions all day every day (working in retail & food service in high school was pure torture) - that's not to say that all of the emotions are negative, as Aurelian points out... just that the unrelenting onslaught of all of them is toxic *to me* as it's too exhausting to keep up good boundaries all day long surrounded by so many people when you're required by your job description to interact with them in a helpful manner :lol: (even an office environment is too much for me).

 

But it sounds like many people conflate "picking up on/sensing energy/emotions" with empathy: it's not just a matter of picking up on them: it's actually EXPERIENCING them, whether you want to or not.

 

I never saw more than a few minutes total of Buffy or Charmed, so I can't speak to that "effect" but I understand what might be going on there - more of the LARPing of witchcraft that's so irritatingly prevalent these days, diluting and obscuring what little true info there is out there on the topics in the first place. (apologies for the rant there!)

 

I agree with Nikkilamp, it is not such a great thing to be empathic. I take what Jevne is saying about Buffy Wannabes jumping on the empathy bandwaggon and agree there is a lot of that about. However true empaths (and yes I am also one) have quite a hard time coping with it. I can walk into a room and suffer an instant mood reversal because of the occupants. Or walk past a house and pick up distressing activities are taking place. Its also very difficult in crowds, because I do try to shield generally, but a whole crowd is quite hard. Sometimes it is an overwhelming flood of emotion, not generated by me, assaulting and subjugating my own feelings. Even if I pick up positive emotions, I actually prefer to generate my own highs! A couple of years ago I had to work with someone who hated me and stabbed me in the back at any opportunity. She was a good actress and would be sickly sweet to my face, yet I always knew what she was really thinking. Quite hard to be professional under those circumstances. I eventually moved her to another department with a cunning little spell. I don't usually talk about this precisely because of the 'Buffy effect' that Jevne highlighted, but have broken my silence on this one!

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I had a discussion in chat about this, just the other day. I do not consider myself an empath in any way. I don’t pick up clues about other people’s moods very easily, and I tend to be described as a cold heart bitch much more often than a sweet, sensitive person. I’m affected by energy, but my emotions are not.


When I started comparing notes with another witch who is very empathetic, we noticed that empaths and introverts share many of the same symptoms, and I am definitely an introvert: the overwhelming feeling that comes from large groups, the feeling of over-stimulation that can be brought on by lights, noises, and touch when around people, and the need to desperately escape and recharge our energy in private.


It got me thinking about how energy works between people, how it moves and is manipulated. I’d be very curious to see if anyone else has thoughts on the matter.

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Duchess - I agree, empaths and introverts share a lot of the same characteristics (& I'm guessing, aside from the "Buffy" factor, that might be why so many people think/say they're an empath when they're really just an introvert)...

 

If you read more replies in this thread (specifically from Jevne & another member (I can't remember who off the top of my head) you'll see that being an empath and perceived as a "cold-hearted bitch" aren't necessarily mutually exclusive - I think that's also why people get confused about empaths: just because you're FEELING someone else's emotions, doesn't mean you have to feel SYMPATHY for them. Granted, that's typically how it works, but if you're aware they're someone else's emotions *and* you're aware why they're feeling them (e.g. they did something shitty to someone else and are now feeling sad and sorry for themselves because "no one likes them") you may not be inclined to feel very sympathetic.

 

So I believe it goes both ways: sympathy does not equal empathy AND empathy does not equal sympathy... if that makes sense.

 

(& I'm by no means implying you might be an empath as well as an introvert - you know how you experience energy & emotions - simply that just bc someone comes off as cold and distant doesn't mean they CAN'T be an empath... it may be the only way they've found to protect themselves from the onslaught of others' emotions.)

Edited by IslandBruja
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re: Aurelian, it might be that the baser, nastier emotions are stronger, more primal and visceral, so they pack a harder punch than, say, contentment.

 

 

But it sounds like many people conflate "picking up on/sensing energy/emotions" with empathy: it's not just a matter of picking up on them: it's actually EXPERIENCING them, whether you want to or not.
 

 

Being able to empathize with someone as opposed to, as you say, actually experiencing their emotions. I would imagine being inundated by others' emotions would make one into a cold-hearted bitch simply for survival.

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I think that being a Empath can be like a Deer running in headlights, it took years to stop feeling so overwhelmed ,it's like being on a emotional rollarcoaster.

 

I constantly have to make sure I am ok ,my boundaries are protected, it's not just picking up on negative / positive emotion of human to human contact / interaction it's picking up from energies of spirit too, clairsentiently,and clairvoyantly. As well as dealing with our own personalities and our varying characteristics within our own psychology

 

 

 

It's all very exhausting stuff and It gives new meaning to the term my "heads done in" , the need to keep ones ,physical self well ,I think is paramount.

 

It is my firm belief the body suffers from sensory overload and this causes lasting damage, I wonder if this is why Empaths can be good healers, provided they understand the need for self preservation / protection, wow betide the Masseusse who forgets to put her barriers up lol

 

 

 

Broadly speaking the majority of humans have the ability for Empathy, but I believe some are a bit more finely tuned, and to put in easy to understand terms some are more affected by energy than others, because it is all about energy play.

 

I think earlier in the thread Jevne put it rather well, when he / she spoke about the Empath ( in the context we are discussing)and describes it as being NOT just a person who is overly Sympathetic.

 

A Empath is not like a doormat to be shit on, because the Empath needs to grow a thick skin, in order to survive, so in my own personal experience a balance had to be achieved, this falters at times.

 

As a side note Psycologists describe some aspects as being part of the Cluster B personality type.

 

I myself have been called a Ice queen on more than one occasion and actually a few exes have said I have no empathy ( tut tut), but I have learnt to condition myself not to take on other peoples crap, WHY because I have had to. Because of maybe my own personality, how I experience life I have a strong Introverted aspect to my personality but fundamentally I find myself easier to cope with, because often I find that others make my head hurt, I enjoy company but on my terms, then I need to recharge my batteries to do it again.

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I didn't want to edit my post as I havnt mastered the art of not double posting but upon re reading the above I didn't want to make it sound like a negative experience either.

 

Of course left unchecked it isn't great but I have found that as I have matured in my years I have realised that my life experience has had a lot more depth because Of this gift and it has aided my own journey, It definately is not a easy path, but I just know , really know that I will be using this skill a lot more than I already do and I am now ready,

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This is a topic that does interest me.  My opinions one way or another are still in the works as far as if its something most people have (to varying degrees of course) or if its a "special" ability that a few people have.  Because I over think everything I am always vacillating between being a skeptic or being a believer in just about anything deemed "paranormal or psychic".   There have been occasions where what I thought were my emotions weren't actually mine.  Those times the source of the emotions were from someone I was very connected to on a personal level.  Other people that I have a weaker connection to, my feelings can be influenced by them but only overshadows me if I'm not paying attention.  With that said, I am leaning more towards that I'm just being very intuitive.  Many people over the years have complimented me on how intuitive I am, and how I often see straight through to the heart of an issue.  I've seen that trait in a few other people I've met over the years as well.  I kind of wonder if it's just being more aware of others body language, subtle facial expressions, basically having an instinctive grasp on psychology and behavior rather than any kind of special talent or ability.

 

In a lot of ways I do this with animals too, both wild and domestic.  And it works the same way for me as it does with people.  If I'm particularly bonded to an animal, whether its a domestic pet or a captive wild animal in my care, there's a very similar link and I'll sense their well being-mental, emotional, and physical.  That intuition has come in very handy in the past when I was a keeper and pet owner.  Do I have a talent or special gift of connection?  Or is it that I just get to know the person or animal well and my subconscious or intuition keeps me in tune with how others are doing/feeling?  It has been a blessing and a curse.  But personally I'd rather know the truth of someones feelings even if it hurts mine than hanging onto a lie or false sense of security.

 

As far as to whether being empathic is a real thing or not, I'm not sure that it really matters which one it is.  At least for myself.  I understand myself well enough to know that the desire to believe I have a special ability is really just due to having childhood insecurities that I still struggle with to this day.  So I don't really label myself as being any more special than the next person.  But I do allow that little kid in me to indulge herself just a little here and there and just do my damnedest not to become arrogant or attention seeking about it either lol.  

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I don't know why people continue to confuse normal human empathy for real ability as an empath.

I can provide a link for you guys to read.

Edited:  I'm working on finding a permanent link for this content.

Edited by Aurelian

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I'm not an empath but I'm married to one. I don't envy him at all 

 

I used to throw that word around, but now that I live with one I'm much more choosy when using that term. Being married to an empath when you aren't one is pretty difficult, I'm an exceptionally brash and aggressive type behind closed doors and it's like a 2nd job to keep myself in check both out in the world and at home. It's a great exercise in constraint, I will say that. I'm still working on harnessing my more brutish energies and funneling them into my practice, I have to say if I didn't have to keep myself in check all the time I probably wouldn't even be considering how to reroute this energy, so it's been beneficial at the end of the day. Still a challenge, though. I was raised as an only child since the age difference between my siblings is enormous and spent all of my 20s either living alone or with fellow loners where I could be my unrestricted self!

Edited by Madame

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I think it is important to note that, while they are related terms, there are some distinct differences between sympathy and empathy. With sympathy you feel for someone, but you do not necessarily feel exactly what they are feeling.

 

For example, when I was watching the news reports on the earthquake in Haiti, I felt sorry for those who were suffering. I felt an urge to help them out. I was appalled at the devastation. It made me feel sad "for them" or more appropriately "for their situation". That is sympathy, not empathy. An event or situation involving people triggers sympathy. Experiencing sympathy is very common, which is why so many commercials are geared toward tugging at your heart strings.

 

Empathy is different. While I sympathize with those living through the aftermath of an earthquake or any other natural disaster, I do not empathize with them. For one thing, if I was really feeling what those folks were *ALL* feeling, I would not feel only negative emotions. In other words, I would not only feel the emotions evoked from watching news reports, which generally tend to be negative or at least focused on tugging on those ol' heart strings again. Sympathy can be experienced by anyone at any time, but some people are naturally more sympathetic. In other words, some people care just a little more about other people. This is wonderful.

 

Empaths actually experience the emotions of people around them, even people that they don't give a flying f*ck about. Good people, bad people, . . . excited, frustrated, desperate, lustful, joyful, bored, etc. etc. etc. Granted, the emotional reaction is considerably stronger with people that I know personally. But, I can respond to the emotional states of anyone that I come in contact with. The stronger the emotion being experienced and the closer my proximity to the person experiencing it, the more intense I feel it. (For example, I know the neighbors are getting frisky right now.)

 

So, high school was fun. That seething pool of emotional people with a healthy supply of adolescent hormones. I was consistently angry, afraid, and horny throughout the entire experience. I was in therapy for three years afterward. Anyway, I have since learned to use my empathic abilities. My family taught me that trying to block the emotions is useless. It takes too much time and energy, and I wouldn't be able to accomplish anything else. Plus, I would not be honoring my gift.

 

Jevne

Its a shame we've lost Jevne, I think. I've read so much that Jevne has written in this forum (not just in this thread) that has resonated with me or helped me to understand things. That being said, Jevne hit the nail right on the head with this one. I really can't say if I'm DEFINITIVELY an empath, but frankly, it has come to be my true and honest belief that in fact I am. So I think so, but take me with a grain of salt here. But let me relay a little bit of my experience and opinion: I was an only child for the first 8 years of my life. I had grown accustom to the solace of aloneness. I certainly hadn't known that then. And even throughout my youth, I continued to live largely in that aloneness. Yes, I had siblings now, but they needed my parents more than I, and I was often not allowed to socialize. "I don't know their parents," or, "you have chores/homework," or, "'hanging out' is not a valid activity," among others, were the responses I'd receive when asking for some social time. (wow I sound like a whiner right now, but I swear I've got a point coming) There was often some tension at home; I'd begun to rebel with the coming of my budding womanhood, my little sister was diagnosed Aspergers and there were often IEP and public school woes tied to her diagnosis, my parents may have been becoming unhinged who knows? As an adolescent, I found a great relief within myself when I spent time with people from outside my home. The fun that people had would fill me with mirth. I would bend over backwards to find some time to vicariously experience some happiness. But eventually I would get in so much trouble at home that I could no longer connect with those same people. Bonds were broken and relationships severed, and I never really recovered these times. I spent the rest of my adolescence seeking ways and means to shut it all up. I'd truly never considered that all of the feelings overwhelming me all this time had been other people's. I always just thought that there was something deeply wrong with me that I could be so full of rage and yet so full of longing and still maintain some joviality at once. It never occurred to me that I was soaking it all up from around me. I'd only thought I was going through normal hormonal fluctuations since thats what everyone told me. "Its normal for a teenager," you know? But it never went away. I started my adventures as a young adult early; my parents couldn't take the turmoil anymore. Id been sent out directly on my 18th birthday and mostly lived on my own. For some time I lived with a friend at her family's home. These people were fairly grounded folk. They took everything in stride, nothing ever really got them down. It was the easiest time of my life as far as living with other people goes. Even though it was a family of seven I'd intruded on, not once did I experience such rage or hopelessness as I had at home. I've had roommates in the past as well, people not connected to me by anything but the roof we shared. One woman I shared an apartment with was a recovering alcoholic. Shed lost about 200 lbs between rehab and aftercare. The booze was killing her with sugar (rum drinker). She'd been a bloated mess before I met her. But even then, she would eat her feelings. I would feel her loneliness, and her intense urge to shovel sweets into her gullet. She would often get stuck in a depression and I would struggle to pull myself from her depth to take care of our household chores. I don't know what drove her to this place, but I did feel sympathy for her loneliness. She missed her children, who lived solely with their father as a result of her drinking. While living with my inlaws, a much more recent experience, I would be overwhelmed with crushing anxiety everyday. My father in law, who doesn't work anymore, would sit in his easy chair watching tv and sucking down weed like water, burying himself under the multitude of tasks he'd been avoiding. Make no mistake, I can't stand this guy. But I've got to tell you, I liked him at first. All the years I've known my husband, I thought his pops was an alright guy, if not exactly conventional. But once I got swept under his emotions, I realized that he is a cowardiced layabout with no concern for others. His annoyance at my son's playing was the worst. I love my son so fully, as I am sure most mothers do, and yet when he was playing about the house, which normally not only doesn't bother me, but entertains me, gives me a taste of his mirth, I would be struck with annoyance and anger. I have yelled at and disciplined my son as a result of these foreign emotional intrusions. I am not proud of it.

 

Duchess - I agree, empaths and introverts share a lot of the same characteristics (& I'm guessing, aside from the "Buffy" factor, that might be why so many people think/say they're an empath when they're really just an introvert)...

 

If you read more replies in this thread (specifically from Jevne & another member (I can't remember who off the top of my head) you'll see that being an empath and perceived as a "cold-hearted bitch" aren't necessarily mutually exclusive - I think that's also why people get confused about empaths: just because you're FEELING someone else's emotions, doesn't mean you have to feel SYMPATHY for them. Granted, that's typically how it works, but if you're aware they're someone else's emotions *and* you're aware why they're feeling them (e.g. they did something shitty to someone else and are now feeling sad and sorry for themselves because "no one likes them") you may not be inclined to feel very sympathetic.

 

So I believe it goes both ways: sympathy does not equal empathy AND empathy does not equal sympathy... if that makes sense.

 

(& I'm by no means implying you might be an empath as well as an introvert - you know how you experience energy & emotions - simply that just bc someone comes off as cold and distant doesn't mean they CAN'T be an empath... it may be the only way they've found to protect themselves from the onslaught of others' emotions.)

damn straight though. As I stated above, I can experience feelings from other people and know their emotions as if they were my own, and still have absolutely no sympathy for them. or as in the case of that one roommate, I can have some level of sympathy for them, recognizing the authenticity and honesty of their woes. I can be happy for someone or not. It does not effect the fact that I know their emotion. Sympathy and empathy, for me at least, are separate beasts, that exist independently, exclusive of each other.

 

I think that being a Empath can be like a Deer running in headlights, it took years to stop feeling so overwhelmed ,it's like being on a emotional rollarcoaster.

 

I constantly have to make sure I am ok ,my boundaries are protected, it's not just picking up on negative / positive emotion of human to human contact / interaction it's picking up from energies of spirit too, clairsentiently,and clairvoyantly. As well as dealing with our own personalities and our varying characteristics within our own psychology

 

 

 

It's all very exhausting stuff and It gives new meaning to the term my "heads done in" , the need to keep ones ,physical self well ,I think is paramount.

 

It is my firm belief the body suffers from sensory overload and this causes lasting damage, I wonder if this is why Empaths can be good healers, provided they understand the need for self preservation / protection, wow betide the Masseusse who forgets to put her barriers up lol

 

 

 

Broadly speaking the majority of humans have the ability for Empathy, but I believe some are a bit more finely tuned, and to put in easy to understand terms some are more affected by energy than others, because it is all about energy play.

 

I think earlier in the thread Jevne put it rather well, when he / she spoke about the Empath ( in the context we are discussing)and describes it as being NOT just a person who is overly Sympathetic.

 

A Empath is not like a doormat to be shit on, because the Empath needs to grow a thick skin, in order to survive, so in my own personal experience a balance had to be achieved, this falters at times.

 

As a side note Psycologists describe some aspects as being part of the Cluster B personality type.

 

I myself have been called a Ice queen on more than one occasion and actually a few exes have said I have no empathy ( tut tut), but I have learnt to condition myself not to take on other peoples crap, WHY because I have had to. Because of maybe my own personality, how I experience life I have a strong Introverted aspect to my personality but fundamentally I find myself easier to cope with, because often I find that others make my head hurt, I enjoy company but on my terms, then I need to recharge my batteries to do it again.

 

and this has hit this thread a number of times, this idea of empathy as an experience and empathy as an attribute, or having empathy versus being an empath. I absolutely believe that one does not need to be an empath to experience empathy. Somehow the empath must have some stronger connection to emotional energies or some such concept. it is not for me to know for sure. But, Leighqt, and those others that have mentioned it, I must know: how do YOU control it? I cannot. At least not as of yet. It fully controls me most times. I have no control over it, no skill at any kind of "putting up a barrier." I have developed a thick skin over the years, but I am resentful of it. I want to know my childrens' feelings. I want to know my husbands mood. I am happy for that. It helps me to take care of them. But the rest of it is so unnecessary, so intrusive, and often so detrimental. Even if it were not a barrier per se but some way to avoid acting on others emotions, and just letting them be there without it controlling my emotions and overruling them and leading me to behaviors outside of my self. I am kind of at a loss for this.

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simple enough.

 

I should find myself an alternative winterized grounding method. Normally I would quite literally use the ground but we have been so frozen for so long.

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