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How many share same beliefs with SO?


Leesa
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Trust me Whiterose, I've tried. But for one reason or another, whenever I try to cast any kind of spell that has anything to do with love or lust for myself, even remotely, it won't work. I've kind fo give up on the thoguht and just chosen to wait for the right man to appear somewhere, sometime. And if the next man I see will think me crazy for being a witch, I'm glad I'm at least able to drive men away from me even if calling for them seems impossible.

 

Aww, you're young, give it time. It may be that gay men are like....%5 of the world's population? Some subset of that is also practitioners of one form or another, trust me I've dated them. I started with the love spells at 14, and I can't say it was good or bad, just that my life has been incredibly interesting. It may well be that you've gotten the better end of that bargain thumbsup.gif I can't shake a stick around here without hitting a bloody wiccan(and trust me, it makes me want to keep swinging).

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I am just curious to know how many of you share your beliefs with your SO. I dont mean share info and such, I mean do they also follow the same path or something like it?

 

My husband doesnt. He's not anything really. He's interested in Paganism and Witchcraft and we've both talked it over and decided to raise our son and any other children we have in that manner too. His aunt is a Witch (although he didnt know that until I told him lol) so he's somewhat familiar. Plus I have been "teaching" him what I know.

 

Leesa

 

Usual caveats and disclaimers apply!

I choose not share my beliefs or actual working methods with my Wife, Sons, Siblings or work colleagues.

To do so would cause more hassle than it’s worth on the mundane level.

This is not to say that they’re entirely unaware, although their awareness consists largely of the conditioning and stereotyping of the Witches Craft as portrayed and sold to the masses by the Entertainments media, New age industry and mainstream religious institutions.

I’m happy to leave it that way although there is a personal cost.

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Usual caveats and disclaimers apply!

I choose not share my beliefs or actual working methods with my Wife, Sons, Siblings or work colleagues.

To do so would cause more hassle than it’s worth on the mundane level.

 

I understand what you mean about choosing to hide things from certainy family members and friends. While a good portion of my family (and a number of my friends) are very aware of who and what I am, not every single person knows or knows the full extent. For example, my father's side of the family is completely in the dark, simply because they (and their religious zealousness) would cause a whole world of trouble, that I don't need. I just wouldn't be able to function, if I had to hide from my husband or children, but I understand what you mean.

 

Jevne

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I’m happy to leave it that way although there is a personal cost.

 

That's hard and of course not always as easy as just finding people who accept you.

 

Personally, I can count on one hand how many people know about what I really do in my personal life. I do prefer it that way, though. I'm both a paranoid and not very social/open person in general. But those very few people who do know? I don't know what I would do not having them.

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  • 2 weeks later...

To the original question, no we do not share the same beliefs. He believes in nothing now, but didn't always feel this way, before he just didn't give it any thought at all. Literally. And for years now, he has believed that you become nothing when you die. But lately, he admits that he may be beginning to believe in at least residual hauntings and also maybe in reincarnation, which he says he hopes is not true, because he does not want to come back to this world. He knows what I do, but does not care. I think he may think it is kind of cute, maybe a little sexy, and probably a whole lot of crazy, but he is cool with it, I guess. And he listens to me rattle on about this or that, concerning my beliefs and way of life. Now, I have not really done anything physical with spells or works for a while, as I've mentioned elsewhere. But, he does know of the one time last year that I attempted to "help" him with a "problem" at his job (the problem has a name, btw). It didn't work all the way, probably because I was out of sorts and out of practice, and going into it cold, with nothing but my anger fueling me. It did work partly, though, and the "problem" was nearly caught in his bad ways. So, once I clear my mind and get back into my rhythm, I will be revisiting this work with gusto and applying my skill (and I know that it will take more than one day's work, because this problem is firmly rooted at the jobsite, and will require much weeding out). And the "problem" will be solved. And I will have no qualms in telling my husband about it.

 

As for my kids, I have one that believes and used to practice with me. The other is just here. lol. Doesn't care one way or the other, but chooses not to participate. Because of where we live, however, we have a rule at our house. "What goes at home stays at home." And this applies to everything, not just witchcraft or beliefs. Sometimes it is better to leave things unsaid in the public realms. It's not that we are ashamed, it's just that we don't want no trouble.witchbroom.gif

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my husband and I are both Gaian Witches. i just had to travel 2000 miles to find him. he's more Kitchen Witch and leaves the darker stuff to me.

Edited by Rev. Gregori
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If you've any choice in the matter, try and find a partner you can fully be yourself with. A little magic might help a partner see your ability too, might be a good way to encourage your love to deepen in that direction. Hey some might prefer to have it a secret from their spouse, not knocking it, if that's you.

 

I rediscovered witchcraft after my spouse and I had been together for three years. So when I sprung it on him, I think it was a bit of a surprise (I was also listing reasons why I didn't want to go to church or raise our kids in one, so it got a little heated). Now that I'm older and wiser? I think I should have kept it a secret. OTOH, I'd much rather have him think of me as a harmless tree-hugger, in the case of a split, because if he knew what I really am? He'd totally use that against me to get full custody. True, no one likes to think about it happening, but it happens all the time.

 

He probably knows more about it than I think he does. We operate on the same wavelength a lot of the time.

Edited by Kupala
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my husband and I are both Gaian Witches. i just had to travel 2000 miles to find him. he's more Kitchen Witch and leaves the darker stuff to me.

 

Hey Gregori, I would love it if you could expand on what a Gaian witch is. I can't find any accurate information on it.

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My husband is my bestest friend, the love of my life and the center of my universe, and he is not a witch. Oh well, no one is perfect. ;)

 

He's a hard atheist who has no belief in anything spiritual. But, he supports my beliefs and shows interest in what I do. I think he already knew about my practices when he met me in RL (we met through a chat room. We've been together 11 years now), and I think he enjoys having a witch for a wife. He buys me witchy things and is proud of our "weird" house decor. He's even helped in a few spells (helping get ingredients, promising to keep something in his thoughts by repeating words in his head for me, etc). He's even joked about wanting to learn to curse someone (though he's never gone through with it even though I've offered to teach him tongue.gif ).

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  • 1 month later...

I am just curious to know how many of you share your beliefs with your SO. I dont mean share info and such, I mean do they also follow the same path or something like it?

My husband isn't witchy in any way, but he's very open minded and I can talk to him about anything I want to without feeling shy or like I'm talking to a brick wall. With my visa taking so long he was in America for a year prior to our wedding without me, then for another year after our wedding without me (yeah, it was bleh :/ ), it's only been the last 9-ish months that he's been immersed in my witchy-doings at home and out-and-about all the time. He does laugh at some things because he sees them as strange, but accepts them for part of whatever spell I'm working at the time and sometimes asks me questions :)

 

I wouldn't change him at all, just like he wouldn't change me. So even though he isn't a witch, it doesn't hinder my path and my being a witch doesn't hinder his non-witchy-path. We walk hand in hand...with the occasional chuckle from him and a :P from me hehe!

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My husband and is happily "unaware" but completely aware all the same. He was apprised if my beliefs and was unfortunately in the middle (literally) when his best friend and I got into it and he wanted to preach at me furoiusly one night. I think I scared him (my hubby) and turned him on all at the same time when I challenged his best friend to put his "higher power" against mine (my craft) , toe to toe, lets go right now! Hee hee. His best friend freaked out and went home, as did a few more of the newly"born" xtians in the room. I had quite a reputation as somebody not to mess with. Despite that and many warnings from some of his friends, he stuck around to see what I was all about.

 

Its 22 years later and we have been married 21 but we are not on the same path. My hubby is somewhere around an agnostic. He describes himself as a recovering catholic. He would never tell me what to believe or even ask. Its personal and he gives me that space. He plays dumb and I know he gets it because he sees, firsthand, the results...when hes supposed to, but all in all, he still prefers not to "know". I still think it still scares him (and turns him on). Lol

 

We agreed not to label me to the kids, to let them learn and draw their own conclusions. Our kids have been guided by me but allowed to accompany friends to church or youth group, socially, but theyve stopped by choice. Mostly because of the rigidity. They didnt like being told what to believe. Theyre really astute, smart kids that dont put up with s@!* from anyone! It was pretty funny to hear them tell me what a load of BS their friemds believed.

 

Lately,I find myself drawing them in more and more with tales of their great grandmother who could talk to trees and read tarot, was psychic and... a little "witchy" and Ive recently shown them some pendulum work and done small readings for them. They see the similarities. I can see them puting 2 & 2 together. :-)

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Even though hubby and I share the similar beliefs with regard to magic, we are both very different in our approach. Hubby is of the mindset that he will only use magic against spirits and other witches that send shit his way or threatens his family. He has more of a warrior mindset when it comes to magic. He is not in to little spells that make our lives run smoother, that is my area. :) I do more of the magical housekeeping. Though there are some times he feels that something is in his arena and requests that I don't do anything, let him handle it and vice versa. We do this so we don't end up negating something the other has worked on. Does anyone else experience a magical partnership like this?

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I can't believe it happened so soon after my post, but my husband finally acknowledged that I'm a witch...out loud! He even asked if I could make him something in my "cauldron" (that's how he said it) to help him because he's in the worst pain of his life. I asked him if he was acknowledging something, jokingly and he said yes, please help me.

I know that many of you already have this understanding with your SO's, but after 22 years, this is a huge deal to me and I needed to share it with people like me. Thank you for allowing me here. I feel very grateful to participate.

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It's funny - when I met my SO I had recently done away with research on the craft. Abandoned spirituality in frustration, I think because I felt that nothing was really speaking to me. And on our first date he admitted to being very into spirituality... Meditation, etc. I think he inspired me to get back to finding myself and where I "belong". He's aware of my practices, some being similar to his but we don't share the same beliefs. There's a ton of mutual respect and that's all I'd ask for. :)

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I shared with my husband but he never could get into the whole Craft thing. Which is kind of good now after events earlier this year. He seemed to support me, but I also had to go to his church every Sunday, which I wasn't really looking forward to. I guess it's a two-way street. You want to share and have them in your beliefs, you have to be willing to at least share in their beliefs to. Let me tell you, it was the hardest thing I ever did, walking into that building. When it came to my spell casting and other more intense workings, he would head for the hills and leave me alone, I think he was nervous about what I was doing. Will I tell the next person I'm with, I don't know. Will I share everything I do as a Witch with that person, absolutely not.

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I shared with my husband but he never could get into the whole Craft thing. Which is kind of good now after events earlier this year. He seemed to support me, but I also had to go to his church every Sunday, which I wasn't really looking forward to. I guess it's a two-way street. You want to share and have them in your beliefs, you have to be willing to at least share in their beliefs to. Let me tell you, it was the hardest thing I ever did, walking into that building. When it came to my spell casting and other more intense workings, he would head for the hills and leave me alone, I think he was nervous about what I was doing. Will I tell the next person I'm with, I don't know. Will I share everything I do as a Witch with that person, absolutely not.

 

I believe this story illustrates a worthwhile point. While you don't necessarily have to agree with every single one of your significant other's beliefs, the two of you should be reasonably close or at least have some respect. Saying, you are OK with someone's beliefs and than asking (i.e. forcing) them to attend a service that is clearly not within your beliefs on a regular basis is not respectful. It is degrading and belittling. There is no way a situation like that can end well. You should not have to hide from your significant other. If you do, you may be forced, either in the future or sooner, to choose between that person and the Craft. I know what my decision would be, but that is for each person to determine on their own. In some cases, however, the decision is made for you.

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I believe this story illustrates a worthwhile point. While you don't necessarily have to agree with every single one of your significant other's beliefs, the two of you should be reasonably close or at least have some respect. Saying, you are OK with someone's beliefs and than asking (i.e. forcing) them to attend a service that is clearly not within your beliefs on a regular basis is not respectful. It is degrading and belittling. There is no way a situation like that can end well. You should not have to hide from your significant other. If you do, you may be forced, either in the future or sooner, to choose between that person and the Craft. I know what my decision would be, but that is for each person to determine on their own. In some cases, however, the decision is made for you.

 

I definitely agree with this. For a while neither me or my SO wanted to read and learn what the other was up to because it sort of felt like we were trying to change each other's minds on some things. For example, some of the books he's read claim that working with lesser spirits is an all-around bad thing while I've learned that while you need to be careful and knowledgeable, it can definitely be a rewarding experience. So when I told him I was planning to craft my own ouija board from Birch (which I felt a pull toward and wasn't sure why until I looked it up and found that it's a good protective wood) he kinda cringed. So to give him better comfort since we live in the same apartment I said we would work on making him some protective charms etc to make him feel safer and I've suggested he read a few of the books I have. Not to change his beliefs, but to genuinely educate him. And as time has gone on I've realized he only wants me to be educated on what he's learning and practicing just to be educated. And now I'm all for it, can't hurt to know more even if it doesn't work for my practice. And who knows, maybe it will. But I'd never deal with him forcing me into anything.

 

If going to his church bothers you that way, I would vocalize that. Would he sit still and watch one of your rituals? Probably not.

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I think I replied on this topic before, but seeing it again has reminded me of a situation of my most recent relationship (who I split up with). I basically bought a small mink skull rattle months ago from another witch, I never really showed my ex it as I didn't feel the need to. It was something personal of mine. Then one day, near the end of the relationship he saw it sitting and was "dissapointed" by it. And wondered how I could be a real vegetarian who cares for animals and yet have an animal skull.

 

Now, that statement baffled me to no end - he was a serious meat eater who didn't seem to care where his steaks came from as long as they were nice. He claimed to be a huge animal lover and yet he loved extremely rare steak to the point of blood dripping out of it. How is that ok, and yet me having an animal skull is "weird"??

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I think I replied on this topic before, but seeing it again has reminded me of a situation of my most recent relationship (who I split up with). I basically bought a small mink skull rattle months ago from another witch, I never really showed my ex it as I didn't feel the need to. It was something personal of mine. Then one day, near the end of the relationship he saw it sitting and was "dissapointed" by it. And wondered how I could be a real vegetarian who cares for animals and yet have an animal skull.

 

Now, that statement baffled me to no end - he was a serious meat eater who didn't seem to care where his steaks came from as long as they were nice. He claimed to be a huge animal lover and yet he loved extremely rare steak to the one of blood dripping out of it. How is that ok, and yet me having an animal skull is "weird"??

 

 

He seems a bit hypocritical. It's along the same lines... the steak is nourishment for him as the skull is for you. What did he think, that your friend slayed the mink for the skull?!

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He seems a bit hypocritical. It's along the same lines... the steak is nourishment for him as the skull is for you. What did he think, that your friend slayed the mink for the skull?!

 

I dunno what he thought...As an animal lover myself if I do get skulls or anything made of leather I try and make sure it's from a good source that shows the animal respect. He said that as a witch I should be taking care of nature, not collecting it - yet nothing was ever said about two starfish I have, or leaves, stones, flowers, etc, that I have collected myself. But it's all the same to me, they all have spirit and were living beings at one point. Ugh, I wish people would use some common sense...

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I dunno what he thought...As an animal lover myself if I do get skulls or anything made of leather I try and make sure it's from a good source that shows the animal respect. He said that as a witch I should be taking care of nature, not collecting it - yet nothing was ever said about two starfish I have, or leaves, stones, flowers, etc, that I have collected myself. But it's all the same to me, they all have spirit and were living beings at one point. Ugh, I wish people would use some common sense...

 

 

Something like that would've ignited my attitude lol. He probably just didn't understand how the skull could be used or simply treasured. Taking care to preserve the skull vs it just laying somewhere or being crushed and forgotten. Oh well. Some people never understand - though they pretend to.

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I think I replied on this topic before, but seeing it again has reminded me of a situation of my most recent relationship (who I split up with). I basically bought a small mink skull rattle months ago from another witch, I never really showed my ex it as I didn't feel the need to. It was something personal of mine. Then one day, near the end of the relationship he saw it sitting and was "dissapointed" by it. And wondered how I could be a real vegetarian who cares for animals and yet have an animal skull.

 

Now, that statement baffled me to no end - he was a serious meat eater who didn't seem to care where his steaks came from as long as they were nice. He claimed to be a huge animal lover and yet he loved extremely rare steak to the point of blood dripping out of it. How is that ok, and yet me having an animal skull is "weird"??

 

 

Good job for getting rid of him. He seems like the type of person that would keep on requiring you to change for him.

 

Though, there is nothing wrong with a bloody steak ;) . We live by taking in the body of other creatures, plants are no different from animals in that respect. It sounds to me like he didn't understand why you couldn't eat the meat of an animal yet you felt fine using its bones. To some, dead is dead, no matter the intent. To some, eating the animal is a more sacred experience than using the rest of the animal in spiritual rights because the animal gave up its life so they can live. Its the ultimate sacrifice. Not saying Mr. Wrong gave a crap about any of that except that he saw you a as a hippocrite. Other people though, do see it that way. Good luck finding Mr. Right!

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