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Kalinia

The lonely path

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This is basically going to be what I call a "tea time ramblings" post. I'm just lazily laying around, sipping tea and thinking about a few things that I'd like to bring up with hopes that it may spark up a conversation.

 

For as long as I have been studying and practicing witchcraft I have always longed for the stereotypical coven connection. To have one or a few really close friends to follow a similar path with and practice together. I've been a part of things like that a few times but it was never good enough for me. It wasnt a good fit. We had different beliefs and work ethics.

 

As much as I crave that, I am a very introverted person and to be honest without hopefully sounding too rude, I don't connect or enjoy the majority of people that I interact with in person, so finding this connection would be quite tough!

 

I feel like I am missing out on something, or more so that something is missing by me always doing things craft or spirituality related alone. Almost like an empty feeling. I long for it yet really put in no effort to find it because of my sheer lack of desire to actually leave my house/family and attempt to find this. Sounds silly huh?

 

I've been to many gatherings and festivals etc and met some of the covens who are local and while they seemed like lovely people, I couldn't help but feel like I was meeting people straight off of Tumblr.

 

So I wonder, do you prefer doing everything in your practice alone, or enjoy the company of other like minded people? What are your experiences?

Edited by Kalinia

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I don't think it's silly at all. I think on some level everyone here must want a bit of witchy connectedness, or else why be HERE.

 

At the danger of speaking for others and being errant- we are a weird lot... I have noticed many people on here apparently suffers from some degree of social anxiety like myself. And it seems to be part and parcel of the path to have spent most of one's life feeling somewhat on the fringe and different than others. I personally literally NEED regular alone time to function properly. I have seen several on here that seem to value their solitude as well. So there is that.

On the other hand, here we all are. And I have noticed many others, like myself, lamenting the fact that they live somewhere with no like-minded folks to be found. And citing this as one of the reasons for gravitating here.

 

I think for ME in a perfect world I would prefer most of my practice remain solitary. However, I would LOVE to have local witch friends to do group workings with sometimes. BUT just as you said, the likelihood of me finding someone who practices AND I click with are not great. The idea of finding a group like that is very very unlikely.

 

But, I will say, I certainly enjoy and appreciate some of you guys:).

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You put that so well! Thank you for your thoughts. It's definitely a mix of wanting to be alone yet longing for a special connection with like minded people. I agree that I'd prefer a lot of alone time but with group workings once in a while with people I truly get along with and don't just show kindness for the sake of being kind, and can simply be myself around.

 

This is a wonderful place

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I have witch friends that I connect with but a lot of the time we end up socialising more than doing witchcraft as such. I prefer solitary, I am really not a people person and I, like so many, need mass amounts of alone time to function properly. I'd rather avoid people for the most part if at all possible. It is nice to spend time with likeminded folk, go to an event or two but ultimately, I like doing things on my own but it is nice to be able to converse with people and not have the 'the fuck is she on about?' look and it's nice to have active, engaging discourse on the topic witchcraft., sharing ideas, trading stories, learning.

 

But I think sometimes you have to find your tribe, those who are on a similar path or similar practice who you can be yourself with and practice your particular flavour of Craft with.

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I 've recently ackowledged the fact that I am best working on my own. I have always valued my solitude although I am generally a sociable person, but I don't fare well in crowds or large groups of people. Over the last few years I have met and made friends with people with varying beliefs and practices, none of whom I've felt any real connection....their 'stuff' just didn't make sense or seem relevant to me, so I made the decision to stop looking and embrace what felt right deep down, me on my own :-). Being part of this communtiy is wonderful as so many people have similar experiences and ideas to me I actually feel that I belong, with losing my precious solitary space.

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Yea, everything you all have said. I thrive in solitude and also enjoy kibitzing with like spirits. If there is a non-conformist gene that is attached to the witch gene, I got it. It's ingrained. Ive been in a group and we were a pretty mixed but bonded set. Then life happens and people move away, get other priorities, yadda yadda. A group both takes energy and gives energy. Yet, I need solitude like breathing.

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I prefer to work on my own. However, like Stacey, I have witchy friends I socialize with & there is also a thriving "pagan" community in my city if I want to mingle with the fluffies & the heathens ;) I have only done work with one friend in the lower 48, but our methods were too different to mash up well.

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I don't confuse MY Path with Practice.

 

Walking Path is solitary (and where my Practice takes shape)

 

It's not easy to be odd-girl out in the mundane society. Having other Witches in my life helps a lot.

 

I love what other witches bring to the table. What they do and how they view craft allows me to explore the deeper parts of myself - which enhances my Practice.

 

Knowing that I'm not *alone* is priceless.

Edited by Nikki

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Just like everyone else here I need my alone time. I need it to recharge, to think, to practice, and to enjoy. But I think completely isolating myself from any other witches would bring some stagnation. I don't want a coven, and I don't want to practice with anyone else, but getting to read other opinions and ideas, and having like-minded people to bounce ideas off of helps keep my own path moving forward.

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Another one here that REALLY needs loads of time alone in order to be able to function. Or at least, alone with cats and dog and whatever other creatures turn up.

 

Contact through this forum is priceless though. It's like the best of both worlds. We are so lucky to live in these times and have the internet!

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I'm the most comfortable being alone .. well, with my 4 cats. I don't even have any close friends or relatives, ... I just can't deal with that, all that energy from other people. And I am certainly not searching for the covens. Sure, I feel lonely sometimes, but not to the point of actualy actively looking for a company. Just yesterday, I was driving through my neighbourghood and I saw a house that have certain "witchy" stuff around the house and yard. So, I was thinking, hmmm, I wonder if a witch lives there and wouldn't it be nice to come together sometime and chat. Well, 10 seconds later, I thought, oh, no, no way. I prefer my life just the way it is. I have you guys ;-)

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Whoa, blurry vision, I read the title as the LOONY path and was all set to join a new discussion. I've already had my meds...

Edited by Zombee

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^^ Hahaha oh, but a loony path would be a good description as well... :-D

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I've just had this conversation with Llyr :) We are a strange bunch, aren't we? I really suffer if I don't get alone time and that can be difficult as a working, married parent. All those people around all the time! Craft time is time for myself and I really value this community and the people I chat with on here. I would love to find a local group to be a consistent part of but I tend to dip in and out. Partly out of a need to be discreet, partly because I don't gel with some of the 'leader' types. Why is there always some grand poobah type in these groups?!

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I completely understand, I am a major introvert and do find it hard to connect with other people. I use to go to a group for certain practices but I found the politics of the whole thing overwhelming, and often very little magic(k) is done which I found annoying. I do talk to a few people that seem to be a bit more serious minded. As the years have gone by I find that solitary is the best suite when I want to get down to the nitty gritty. 

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Guest NatureMama

I really need my alone time. I'm very much an introvert. I'm to a place now that I feel my path and my practise is very much a single person thing. I don't think I could do work with someone else but it would be fun to chat with others and just share ideas and experiences. I definitely have been getting that here so I'm very glad to have found this forum and you all!

 

Just a personal thought but I have experienced this "need" to have other people to meet up with and do activities with and to share experiences/ideas/joys/struggles with in various area of my life/different passions, etc.  but ultimately I've always found what I was really looking for was more of a wholeness within myself. It probably sounds weird but what I felt I needed from someone outside myself was actually a need I had to fulfill and met for myself, through myself. This understanding made a huge difference in my marriage!

 So now I still think it would be fun to have others to meet up with in person, it's doubtful that will ever happen, but it's not a need and I don't feel I'm lacking in anyway if it doesn't ever happen. And I really enjoy being on this forum, reading about other people's experiences, practises and beliefs. It's really nice to be able to interact with everyone. But even on here I'm not coming from a place of "need". It's more like icing on top of the cake if that makes sense. :D

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I'm a Solitary Witch too. Recently I painted a little sign on a piece of driftwood it says "Here there be Witches" I have had so many comments about how they like my sign. It opens up the conversation to talking about the occult and what their beliefs are. There are a lot of open people out there.

I'm out to a few people, but I really don't have anyone who is also a Witch to talk too. It would be nice, there are Witches out there, I just hav'nt got in contact with any. Yet...

That's why having a good site to meet like minded people is so important to me. I am not alone.

Edited by Onyx

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As much as I do enjoy chatting with folks here about the craft and spiritual things, I've found that the same doesn't really apply out in the great wide world. There is an excellent witchery shop near where I live where I can count on meeting like-minded people at, and the proprietors even host late-evening meet-ups for discussion about topics that are right up my alley, but bringing my ways and beliefs out in that kind of way is jarring to me. It makes me feel exposed and uncomfortable, and even if the company is welcoming and likely trustworthy, it just sets my hair on edge. Rarely, I feel tingles of loneliness along my path, and at those times it's usually enough to just get involved in an online discussion about this or that to feel like I do have a community. The thought of a tight-knit coven, some brotherhood-sisterhood of love, trust, and power, is very appealing to me...in theory. In reality, I know well of the transitory nature of all things, and I'd want to take no part in the inevitable dissolution or fallout of a group I would have been so emotionally and magically invested in.

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True, groups can be difficult when the beliefs don't jive exactly or the inevitable power struggle comes into play. Probably why we are still Solitary Witches. Then we can always be right.

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I'm here because I'm pretty much alone with what I know & I can share what knowledge I find here for others who I know have abilities otherwise they wouldn't be here in the first place for to do magick one must first believe in magick & find it within themselves.

 

Witches, shamans, sorcerers / sorceresses... We are all the same thing under different terms using various methods to achieve the same results. None of us are "evil" because we go beyond conventional mentalities, we just all want to be left alone to be happy.

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On 7/5/2018 at 12:34 AM, Onyx said:

True, groups can be difficult when the beliefs don't jive exactly or the inevitable power struggle comes into play. Probably why we are still Solitary Witches. Then we can always be right.

Lol, such groups probably have never heard of "only basic rules to magick" & are more religious in their beliefs of what magick should be, not recognizing individual needs & methods may not be the same among practitioners yet achieve the same results. There's a fine line between magick & religion I've found & many practitioners treat their methods like a religion with no knowledge of the basic foundation. 

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On 7/25/2016 at 7:59 PM, Nera said:

I'm the most comfortable being alone .. well, with my 4 cats. I don't even have any close friends or relatives, ... I just can't deal with that, all that energy from other people. And I am certainly not searching for the covens. Sure, I feel lonely sometimes, but not to the point of actualy actively looking for a company. Just yesterday, I was driving through my neighbourghood and I saw a house that have certain "witchy" stuff around the house and yard. So, I was thinking, hmmm, I wonder if a witch lives there and wouldn't it be nice to come together sometime and chat. Well, 10 seconds later, I thought, oh, no, no way. I prefer my life just the way it is. I have you guys 😉

Animals make the best companions. 😁

 

It actually is kind of a theme with occultists of any kind that they tend to be alone, strange how having magick actually mentally segregates us from the many people these days who create problems.

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I totally agree that we do tend to become loners, simply because we just cant deal with the ignorance and stupidity of most of the people.  At first you want to inform everyone of the knowledge we find.   Then you realise not to waste your breath.  Some people are unteachable.

Again we must be reminded of the tenents of Witch Craft.   To Know, To Will, To Dare and To Keep Silent.

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