This past year has been terrible for my husband's family in Colorado. A terrible motorcycle accident, prostate cancer (the same person!) and another motorcycle accident that claimed the life of a wonderful young man. And today I learned that my husband's uncle's prostate cancer has returned and they give him a year.
Seriously. How much bad news can one family handle?
I got to meet this family for the first time at the aforementioned funeral in July. You can't find a better group of people. Open, loving, fun. They don't deserve this kind of back-to-back catastrophe.
I know I just fell into a cliche trap, but it's the truth. And no amount of philosophy (everyone dies, it's a natural event, it's best to accept its inevitability) can really combat the feelings of injustice.
I'm probably just over-sensitive at the moment. Seems like one slam of painful news after another for both sides of our family, and being so close to my own tragedy, I feel it. Probably more than I would have last month.
This is where my Buddhist leaning fails me. It's one thing to convince yourself that you can let things happen, can let people go. It's another to actually do so. It's one thing to say you're going to treat a funeral like a celebration, and it's another thing to actually find something to celebrate amid the loss. And as often as I have said to myself that tragedy isn't specific, doesn't choose people for certain reasons or hover over them, it's hard to see so many terrible things happen to such wonderful people and not get angry at least a little. Not angry at God, but angry at circumstances. How much more does life have to throw at them? Damn, maybe I shouldn't ask that.
We're going to see them this Thanksgiving. What was intended to be a get together because we love each other has turned into a chance to hold each other up and maybe even prepare for the next tragedy. Maybe even say goodbye for the last time.
Damn I'm tired of this.