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Playing witch?

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Abhainn

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Something Michele and others have said recently has been pricking me. And I'm not sure how to approach it.

 

I love this path. I love the intricacy, the mystery, the potential. I like that I can make it what I need. I like that it's only me, without having to defer to anyone else who claims to have authority. I love the symbolism, the actions, the thought-processes. And I have to admit that I like being a little different from those around me.

 

But sometimes, I worry that I'm not really what I claim to be. And I don't know if this is because I'm by nature insecure, or if it's my cynicism, or if I'm just blind as hell. I sometimes think that I have no power whatsoever, that I'm going through the motions, and that in the end, I'm just not a witch at all. That I'm seeing what I want to see, creating self-fulfilling prophecies, playing witch.

 

And it might be a twinge of jealousy. Because I read people's posts about things that have happened to them, talents they have, and I think to myself that I have never had these experiences before. Am I just attracted to the craft because I want to be different? I can't do what they do, does that make me a wannabe? Am I deluding myself? Seriously.

 

And I'm afraid to really find the core of these questions because the answer might just break my heart. I went through the same process with Christianity. Once I got to the core of the questions, I realized that I didn't believe the doctrines, though I truly respected the teachings.

 

I've had some experiences that really blew me away. But nothing that can't be explained elsehow. I can feel power, I think, but I can't prove it outside of my feelings, which might be tainted by desire.

 

And perhaps I've just not found my "gift" yet. I haven't figured out how I fit.

 

I think I'd just like to feel certain about something. Finally.

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First off, totally didn't know Seekers could do blog posts. Sweet!

 

I've had some experiences that really blew me away. But nothing that can't be explained elsehow.

 

There's your problem, right there. Or at least one of them. Most things can be explained away using awesome powers of logic. There is something else Michele has talked about quite often and that's suspending logic. Easier said then done but something that is needed. More importantly just because you can explain it doesn't mean it isn't real in whatever way. If I were to pray to God for relief in my headache and then a friend leans over and gives me an Advil does that mean it wasn't divine intervention? That's up for the individual's interpretation, of course, but food for thought.

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Try looking at it this way. What is the worst thing that could happen if you were "playing witch"? You might feel depressed and cheesy right? You might mope for a while, but would your questions ever go away?Your questions are there for a reason. Now ask yourself, "What happens if its all real?" That's really the question here. I went through this and I realised that I wasn't afraid of "playing at being a witch", I was afraid of KNOWING it was real instead of just thinking it all was. I was afraid of opening Pandora's Box because I knew that it would never close, that I could never UNSEE, that my safetly blanket of being normal would never be there again. I am past that point now, and once you start to truely believe in the impossible then shit starts to get interesting. Its not all about the spells and the rituals. Its about energy. Its about life and death and other worlds and what we don't know. Its about knowing that we don't know everything and opening our eyes to the other inhabitants of this multiverse. Dont get discouraged, if you truely want answers, then your are not playing witch. "Playing witch" is to do it for the status and for what others think, "being" a witch is to find your own personal truth, opening your eyes to use everything at your disposal to do it.

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Guest copperhedge

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One of my favourite ways to describe the Craft is in practicing Enchantment. But if you go back to the etymology of that word, you will uncover the real beauty. The word means essentially "to live inside a song". It leads me to think about what makes my soul sing, how i can resonate in a harmonious, melodic way with the world around me, how in a coven i might try make melody with others...in the words of Kate Bush "two strings speaking in sympathy". The Craft is so much more than the attainment of fantastical gifts. But one can often lead to another.

 

One of my good friends refers to herself as an "Enchantress" rather than a witch and i love it! My advise is, find what activity makes your soul sing and follow where that melody leads you and you will find your vocation in the Craft. There is nothing wrong with "playing". It is one of the healthiest and mist constructive ways to learn.

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First off, totally didn't know Seekers could do blog posts. Sweet!

I've had some experiences that really blew me away. But nothing that can't be explained elsehow.
There's your problem, right there. Or at least one of them. Most things can be explained away using awesome powers of logic. There is something else Michele has talked about quite often and that's suspending logic. Easier said then done but something that is needed. More importantly just because you can explain it doesn't mean it isn't real in whatever way. If I were to pray to God for relief in my headache and then a friend leans over and gives me an Advil does that mean it wasn't divine intervention? That's up for the individual's interpretation, of course, but food for thought.

 

 

 

<br><br>Maggie,<br><br>You're right. I do try too hard to explain how things happen. Like yesterday, I was attempting to contact ancestors and spirits of the land. I felt these tinglings in my hands, and pressure on my palms between the middle and ring fingers. I thought "Omygod!" Then, I started ruling things out. Maybe my hands were falling asleep. Maybe I was anticipating sensation, so I created it. By the time I was done, I was so confused and frustrated, I had to give up. I thought about it too hard.<br><br>And they told me about it later, when I was doing some divination. Both runes and tarot told me to quit stressing about it. Quit overthinking. Relax, and things will work out. Well, that and some other things about working with ancestors and spirits and what I will likely do to muck things up. :) My family knows me. :)<br><br>But, I guess because I'm married to someone who thinks very scientifically, and who still rather skeptical of my path, I tend to look at how I can undeniably prove that what I'm doing is real. Because honestly...a scientific-minded Mormon with a witch wife?<img class="bbc_emoticon" alt=":thinking:" src="http://www.traditionalwitch.net/forums/public/style_emoticons/default/thinking.gif"><br><br>I'm learning how much of "faith" this path requires of me. Like "fake it til you make it." :) Thanks!!<br>

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I am incredibly scientifically minded, but no less of a "witch". Remind your hubs that what we now consider science, was often once considered magic. Human understanding is still developing and often pales into irrelevance when faced with the infinite nature of the universe!

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Try looking at it this way. What is the worst thing that could happen if you were "playing witch"? You might feel depressed and cheesy right? You might mope for a while, but would your questions ever go away?Your questions are there for a reason. Now ask yourself, "What happens if its all real?" That's really the question here. I went through this and I realised that I wasn't afraid of "playing at being a witch", I was afraid of KNOWING it was real instead of just thinking it all was. I was afraid of opening Pandora's Box because I knew that it would never close, that I could never UNSEE, that my safetly blanket of being normal would never be there again. I am past that point now, and once you start to truely believe in the impossible then shit starts to get interesting. Its not all about the spells and the rituals. Its about energy. Its about life and death and other worlds and what we don't know. Its about knowing that we don't know everything and opening our eyes to the other inhabitants of this multiverse. Dont get discouraged, if you truely want answers, then your are not playing witch. "Playing witch" is to do it for the status and for what others think, "being" a witch is to find your own personal truth, opening your eyes to use everything at your disposal to do it.

 

 

<br><br>Thanks, Whiterose! I think one of the issues is that my husband thinks I'm doing this to "make a point." Like wearing the pentacle when I got to church with him (ack!) And it is somewhat of a point, but not the way he thinks. And I think he's really starting to "get" that I'm serious about it, and I'm not just going through a "phase." And I'm not going to leave him because I'm not Mormon anymore. (Poor guy. Damn brainwashing...) I really was afraid that I was "playing" witch without any talent. Thinking I'm doing all this stuff when I was just fooling myself. Wanting very badly to be a witch, but afraid that I was just not. But a great experience last night has helped considerably. <br>That, and seeing that people care. Thanks again,<img class="bbc_emoticon" alt=":thankyou:" src="http://www.traditionalwitch.net/forums/public/style_emoticons/default/thankyou.gif"><br>

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One of my favourite ways to describe the Craft is in practicing Enchantment. But if you go back to the etymology of that word, you will uncover the real beauty. The word means essentially "to live inside a song". It leads me to think about what makes my soul sing, how i can resonate in a harmonious, melodic way with the world around me, how in a coven i might try make melody with others...in the words of Kate Bush "two strings speaking in sympathy". The Craft is so much more than the attainment of fantastical gifts. But one can often lead to another. One of my good friends refers to herself as an "Enchantress" rather than a witch and i love it! My advise is, find what activity makes your soul sing and follow where that melody leads you and you will find your vocation in the Craft. There is nothing wrong with "playing". It is one of the healthiest and mist constructive ways to learn.

 

 

<br>This is great! I'll have to remember that idea, to live in a song. I'm incredibly music-driven, and this reminds me that I'd like to add song to my craft. <br>I guess yesterday I was in a rut...trying to intellectualize everything rather than going with my gut, the way I came to the path in the first place. It's well worth running through the process just to prove to oneself that it's still the path that you belong on.<br>Thanks for the comment, and inspiration, and help. :)<br>

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One of my favourite ways to describe the Craft is in practicing Enchantment. But if you go back to the etymology of that word, you will uncover the real beauty. The word means essentially "to live inside a song". It leads me to think about what makes my soul sing, how i can resonate in a harmonious, melodic way with the world around me, how in a coven i might try make melody with others...in the words of Kate Bush "two strings speaking in sympathy". The Craft is so much more than the attainment of fantastical gifts. But one can often lead to another. One of my good friends refers to herself as an "Enchantress" rather than a witch and i love it! My advise is, find what activity makes your soul sing and follow where that melody leads you and you will find your vocation in the Craft. There is nothing wrong with "playing". It is one of the healthiest and mist constructive ways to learn.

 

 

<br>This is great! I'll have to remember that idea, to live in a song. I'm incredibly music-driven, and this reminds me that I'd like to add song to my craft. <br>I guess yesterday I was in a rut...trying to intellectualize everything rather than going with my gut, the way I came to the path in the first place. It's well worth running through the process just to prove to oneself that it's still the path that you belong on.<br>Thanks for the comment, and inspiration, and help. :)<br>

 

Dear Abhainn,

You have received wonderful advice from people who know what they are talking about. I would simply say; do what makes you happy, what makes you connect to the nature around you, what makes you feel like yourself. You obviously do not feel like Christianity made you happy; you have found a path where no-one will tell you what rules to follow, whom to worship and how to do it, and this freedom is a chance to be yourself. Celtic Gypsy told me about the gift one gives oneself, namely to be yourself, and this is invaluable. If you feel yourself whilst on this path, then you are not playing, you a r e o n t h e p a t h already, moving forwards!

Kind regards,

Heks flyaway.gif

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What wonderful, wise peers we have here! We've all had self doubts - at least I'm sure that I certainly have them all the time. For me, there's a bit of fear about finally having something proven against all doubt. There's no going back then. You're being honest to yourself, Abhainn, rather than pretending it's all easy and certain. Surely that's one of the greatest characteristics of a witch to start with. I'd rather spend time with a witch with a few honest insecurities than with someone who claims to know it all. I suspect you'll discover a path or a personal strength at some point and without realizing it, you'll suddenly know who and what you are.

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Thanks so much for the advice. One reason I love having this forum around...like-minded people. :)

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As a witch, I feel you are always learning, always seeking and yes, have doubts and start questioning, perhaps too deeply. Quite often it is comments by others that can cause you to question and that is because they don't have the same understanding and belief that we, as witch's, do. Rely on yourself and your own abilities because we all have something to offer, whether we see it as a small thing or something greater. Believe in yourself.:yes:

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I hear you. Sometimes I go through the same thing. I read posts here and some of the witches have amazing gifts and I do envy them, it's not unusual. I cast spells and they don't happen and I think that perhaps this is not the path for me, I allow the doubts and the insecurity and the cynicism.

 

But then I think about not being a Witch and I don't like it.

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Thanks for being open and honest. It's good to know I'm not alone. I've figured out that I have a gift that I hadn't discovered at the time, because I had been afraid of it.

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Thanks for being open and honest. It's good to know I'm not alone. I've figured out that I have a gift that I hadn't discovered at the time, because I had been afraid of it.

 

 

:thumbsup: Fear creates a fortress around us. To get rid of it is to break down those walls and let the world in.

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