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The Shadow

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Learning experience

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scarlette

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Everyone has what some call a "shadow self". This is the darker (for lack of a better word) side of your inner self. Some people are controlled by this shadow, others try to ignore it and be something else. The latter rarely meets with any success because the shadow self will find ways to manifest when you try to ignore it. The goal would be integration or learning some balance so that you can make this a valuable addition to your everyday life.

 

I have always been somewhat dark natured, in my practices I tend to lean toward what some would call the dark side. I do well with banishing, hexing, cursing and vengance because it seems to come naturally and resonates with who I am. However, being a firm believer of balance, I do work with the opposite as well, though I must admit.....not in balance. So recently I decided to try to balance this out. It did not go well. I choose to focus only on the helpful, the positive. To focus on positive energy, positive thoughts, try to control my shadow self or at least, choke it back. This would look something like "harming none" or "turning the other cheek" or "hakuna metata". If you have ever met me, you would KNOW this is NOT me. I am the girl kids in school came to when they wanted to know how to get back at someone, the woman that people come to when they want to know how to even the playing field with their cheating, lying boyfriend. Fluffy I am not!

 

Anyway, my experience was this. The more I tried to be sunny and bright, helpful and loving....the worse my life became. Everything that could have gone wrong...did. Suddenly I found myself depressed and having one problem after another being thrown my way. These were BIG problems, not little ones like the car not starting or the cat getting out. These were problems that could have ended my business, my career, the possibility of loosing my home, my kids began to suffer with trouble at school, fights etc. I knew this was my shadow making sure that I remembered who I am. I am a fighter, someone who has always balanced a very intimidating lifestyle, been able to overcome things that would have killed most people.

 

I didnt understand what was going on at first. I mean....we all hear you get what you send (though I have never ever believed that) and I was sending only positive. Then it occured to me! It isn't what you send, it is being true to you are. Some people are naturaly positive and filled with love and that is their true being. I am not saying that I am not happy and loving, but to me, those have there place and time. I am driven, motivated, ambitious, strong and extremly outspoken, A true type A personality. I am a fighter, someone who can jump hurdles and manage an extremly hectic schedule and lifestyle. Those are not the qualties of someone who is loving and kind to all things at all times. I have been described as being The Queen of Swords in nature.

 

What I learned was that when I tried to be something I was not (light in nature) my life began throwing bolders at my head until I did what came naturally......fought back with a vengance. I would love to say that the world went normal overnight when I came to this realization, but alas....I had big bolders in my path by then and had to knock them out one by one. Still working on it.

 

The lesson here may be that in addition to having some semblance of balance in ourselves, the universe also needs that balance. Some of us were meant to be filed with love and send out all the sunny and lovely. Some of us were not. Once I returned to who I really am, bolders stopped being flung at my head. It takes time to deal with the mess that is created, so my thought is...just dont do it in the first place. Be true to who you really are.

 

I will leave the light and sunny to those that have it within them. I will never be fluffy again :)

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"I am driven, motivated, ambitious, strong and extremly outspoken, A true type A personality. I am a fighter, someone who can jump hurdles and manage an extremly hectic schedule and lifestyle. Those are not the qualties of someone who is loving and kind to all things at all times..."

 

There are many loving and kind individules who have strong personalities, are ambitious, and can manage all sorts of stress and hecticness with ease, which I, personally, would take as good traits. There's nothing wrong with being aggressive, it's being aggressive in the wrong situation that can be a problem. Punching someone with whom you are in an altercation is one thing, it's punching some old lady who you don't even know who happens to walk by you when you're pissed about something else that is a problem. I don't take the first paragraph as being "dark" nor would I place the responsibility of darkness on my shadow. There are some paths who view the shadow as the "dangerous base self" that must be controlled, but that to me is rather more of a psychological/human/mundane look at it (but i'm not that up on psychology, lol). I see the shadow as the true self that exists across the veil - why does that self have to be "bad"?

 

M

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When I read your post it was as if though you were writing about me! I am known as a over achiever, a hard ass and most times a bitch but not because i am truly mean but I am one of those you get what you give me kind of girls! I don't consider myself dark however I do acknowledge my dark side and at times fear it...not because i think i will hurt someone but because of the doors it opens. In my situation I am also always open to the dark spirits which is sometimes very scary, i am working on controlling this but for now I remain me but always anxious!!

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I think a good thing to remember is that ultimately you are in control, and unless you give something (or someone, lol) permission to control you, you will only do what you want to do. I realized a long time ago the ability to hurt someone, and I also know that deep down I have a really shitty temper. It takes a lot to get it up but once it is I can be very biting. And it usually shocks people becuase it's not my normal character, lol. When I was younger that used to scare me - the possibility of what I COULD do - until one day I realized that it is always my choice, including the choice to control my reactions. All humans are capable of great harm - but it's also always our choice to be humane as well as human.

 

M

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M, that was some very sound advice and I would like to say you are way more mature than I am,lol! I have a terrible temper and a very short fuse and although you are right I do have a choice on how I react, I have to say my reaction is usually explosive..some day I may actually grow up....only time will tell witch_bounce.gif

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Thank you... I think that you wrote my life and personality down in your words. Wow, we are soooo much alike, except I'm on the sunny side. You are completely correct... Be true to yourself and everything else falls into place. Congrats on the insight! Sometimes, we just need to be reminded of it.

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"I am driven, motivated, ambitious, strong and extremly outspoken, A true type A personality. I am a fighter, someone who can jump hurdles and manage an extremly hectic schedule and lifestyle. Those are not the qualties of someone who is loving and kind to all things at all times..."

 

There are many loving and kind individules who have strong personalities, are ambitious, and can manage all sorts of stress and hecticness with ease, which I, personally, would take as good traits. There's nothing wrong with being aggressive, it's being aggressive in the wrong situation that can be a problem. Punching someone with whom you are in an altercation is one thing, it's punching some old lady who you don't even know who happens to walk by you when you're pissed about something else that is a problem. I don't take the first paragraph as being "dark" nor would I place the responsibility of darkness on my shadow. There are some paths who view the shadow as the "dangerous base self" that must be controlled, but that to me is rather more of a psychological/human/mundane look at it (but i'm not that up on psychology, lol). I see the shadow as the true self that exists across the veil - why does that self have to be "bad"?

 

M

 

 

Nice response. I can honestly say that I have never punched an old lady (besides they can be wicked mean lol). I don't think the shadow self is bad, not at all. The shadow self is itself. I do think, however, that there is a wide spectrum in that self for most people. That didn't come out right. I guess I mean that everyones inner self is different, some are naturally light and sunny and have a smile for everyone. Others are not and that is not bad, it is universal balance. I rather enjoy my true self. I think my point was that trying to be something other than your true self usually creates chaos.

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When I read your post it was as if though you were writing about me! I am known as a over achiever, a hard ass and most times a bitch but not because i am truly mean but I am one of those you get what you give me kind of girls! I don't consider myself dark however I do acknowledge my dark side and at times fear it...not because i think i will hurt someone but because of the doors it opens. In my situation I am also always open to the dark spirits which is sometimes very scary, i am working on controlling this but for now I remain me but always anxious!!

 

 

Agreed! I have employees that say I am the best boss they have ever had, however they also say they know when to get out of my way LoL. Even they noticed when I was trying to be miss mary sunshine and they didnt like it LOL I am sure I will find a happy medium but I can say that my life has been much better since I returned to who I am naturally. Not to say that bolders stopped being thrown at my head but atleast with my head out of the clouds, I can dodge them before the colide LOL

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Thank you... I think that you wrote my life and personality down in your words. Wow, we are soooo much alike, except I'm on the sunny side. You are completely correct... Be true to yourself and everything else falls into place. Congrats on the insight! Sometimes, we just need to be reminded of it.

 

 

Yes we do. :pumpkin_rolleyes:

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