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Celina

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Everything posted by Celina

  1. Celina

    Am I the only one??

    I saw the topic come up a few times about graveyards and grave dirt and I am in awe of the number of people who walk through cemetaries freely, don't freak out and accuse me of being all goodness and light, but when i go to a cemetery all hell breaks loose. Since my first experience in a cemetery at the age of 17 I have always collapsed and been dragged out in a heap, mentally unbalanced and looking rather shell-shocked. I don't fear the dead, I have a wonderful relationship with a few spirits, I have even helped do clean-ups in heritage/settlers graveyards and only met a few kindly spirits or felt the urge to avoid certain graves, but i always put it down to intuition. I don't think it's a mental thing either (although those who have met me may argue otherwise lol) I once was out for a country drive with a friend who pulled into the back entrance of one and before we were close enough to see a tombstone or for me to realize where we i was grasping my head shaking and sobbing. I have since tried to reason with the cemetery when we went to visit a friends grave, I explained at the gates that i would not be deterred from my task, to pay my respects and it really didn't work, i couldn't flipping stand up when i got out of the car, my damned legs wouldn't work. I feel nothing terribly unusual within my body, occasionally my head feels more dense then normal, but i can't seem to control what my body is doing, and it's damned annoying. I hold great respect and even jealousy to those who can work with graveyard dirt and the like, i love working with a the earth in general and one day i'll figure out why i have to be sure to not have a cup of tea in my lap when i drive through a city with a cemetery on both sides of the road and why old cemeteries hold no grudge against me, but active ones do. In the meantime i'll stick to my favourite mountain and field dirt.
  2. Celina

    Yeah Free Time....

    I love autumn, the cooler days, the new colours, the harvest and the musically pleasing sound of the school bell. Finally my youngest is off to full-day everyday kindergarten, I couldn't be happier, all the other parents were sobbing watching their precious offspring stuffing backpacks twice their size into lockers, whimpering that their baby isn't a baby anymore, me on the other hand am half out the door going "do we HAVE to pick them up??". I love my children and would do anything for them, but now for the first time in a very very long time I am going to have me time, and in my books that means witch time. It means hunting second hand stores for books, scratching my arms up picking rose hips, pulling out my tarot cards and just shuffling them constantly getting back the relationship we once had. I have also taken on the task of converting our storage room into a bedroom, so I have been spending the mass of my "free time" going through boxes and pulling out things we don't need. I am a pack-rat, in my eyes this is sick, twisted and sadistic, but necessary. Now my awakening to the path of witchcraft has been fairly new if you remove the denial bit i went through, but as i opened boxes of my teenage years, childhood and even up until a few years ago I was amazed at the stuff I found. I finally found my book "the secret language of birthdays" and an old wooden frog who used to sit at my desk and i'd talk to him, he was like my familiar, dreamcatchers, a couple bags of sage, incense, stones from places i've been, ash from fires, a tiny copper tea pot that i'd fill with scraps of paper with wishes on them, even a pendant with "faerie dust" in it. As I absent-mindedly gathered all these into a small cedar chest I thought how completely oblivious people can be before they see the light or in my case the broomstick. I spent years with these items and never made the connection in my head, but then why worry on the past, I know who i am now it just took 31 years to figure it out. My lesser half has always told me I was a witch in a joking/when-you-do-that-it-scares-me type way, I usually retorted that he was saying it wrong it starts with a B. Now i know he's seen a few things that i've done while he's at work, one evening i sat and worked on my wand, he asked what i was doing doing I said "making a wand" he shrugged and went back to computer, smart one I got, but he's the one that makes me think that all the things i've done in the past i haven't needed witchy things so why do i need them now, but then I think, cause I have the free time.
  3. If someone has a spell or charm against lice please let me know. ( i got the cursing down pat already) First thing this morning I get the call to help screen every student in my kid's school for lice, I do it every year, usually a couple classes at any given time, but no they want the whole school done. So after I hang up the phone, I start to scratch and scratch, the power of suggestion is an amazing thing. I haven't stopped scritching and scratching since. 5 hours to check each and every student who are all freaking out that they might have it. This is where education comes, lice is no different than a cold, but the stigma behind it is terrible. Those little creepy crawly's love long beautiful clean shiny hair, but everyone assumes that it's the dirty kids who rarely bath that get them and it's wrong. Witches have the same problem with stigma, either their categorized as crazy cat ladies, wiccan's or hag's who live in little hovels and fly on brooms, but those of us who know better know that it is just ignorance and lack of education that these stereotypes and assumptions are made. Parents and teachers always make the lice stigma worse, only 2 teachers asked to have theirs checked, if i was a teacher I'd be lined up in the front, but teachers don't want to admit they're susceptible to such ugly, dirty things, just like those in power out of fear have always condemned witchcraft, their own ignorance and fear has made them feel the necessity to ban and cleanse the world in attempts to rid them of this evil for the greater good. Maybe I should should curse the parents and teachers to get lice, to see how they like dealing with the stigma they have bestowed upon their childrens classmates, but that just wouldn't be nice........oh well.
  4. I just started reading A.F.Scott's "Witch,Spirit,Devil" Amazingly historically accurate (and I had just bought it for the pictures) and it's incredible to see the things that led to the witch hunts and the assumptions that were made. It has so far been a really good read.
  5. After seeing many posts and discussions about religion and witchcraft, now before you all start swinging your brooms at my head, let me explain what i mean. Every continent has "first peoples" and they lived off what the earth provided and learned to heal with what the earth provided and the worshiped it for it's beauty and it the fact it provided. That, to me, is the essence of our connection to the planet. Amidst these peoples were those who used plants, spells and moon cycles to heal, cure, and they enriched the others lives, they were story tellers, and historians. They were called upon to bless weapons for hunting, they knew when to move their groups to new hunting grounds, they named and delivered babies, provide rites of passage to adulthood and preforms the rites of passage to death. This goes beyond our politically or geographical borders, they knew the planet and what it provided. No matter what they were called, be it medicine man, shaman, waganga, or voodoo priestess's, they did what we do now. We have tapped into the power of the earth. We are very lucky that almost all plants have been named, tested and it's properties and uses are a key click away, but still in a society where we have this knowledge, the need for healers, spell casters, is ever present and we have risen to the challenge. Now to the religion bit, according to wikipedia, "Religion is the belief in and worship of a god or gods, or a set of beliefs concerning the origin and purpose of the universe.[1] It is commonly regarded as consisting of a person’s relation to God or to gods or spirits". Personally I have never been big on the worshiping of anything, kneeling for anyone or eating flesh that turns out to be stale cracker and drinking blood that turns out to be grape juice, but I appreciate that it has a place in society. The idea of religion is that you lie back and accept that you have no control, there is a greater being that has written the plan for your life and praying that your insurance goes down is merely part of the greater plan. In the Catholic religion you can do anything, absolutely anything, but as long as you climb into the little phone and confess to the guy in the dress and funny hat, like a badly dressed operator from god, you can say 10 hail mary's and be forgiven no matter what. I find fault in that....okay more than one, but i'm not going to nit pick. I would love to go back to a pre-religious time, a time before the idea of putting a god into a building, dressing pretty for 2 hours on every sunday, and paying 10% of al moneys earned. I would never claim witchcraft to be my religion, it's a lifestyle choice, kinda like coming out the closet it;s just part of who I am. If I wanna cast a spell in a latex catsuit or read my runes in the buff under a tree I can, if I want to dress up all pretty just to scry just incase someone's looking back you wouldn't want a fleck of broccoli in your teeth now would you?? I have no religion and I couldn't be more at peace.
  6. Celina

    Why Me?

    It was a cool summer evening when the call from my mother came " I'm sorry hun, but your dad's parents are coming up for the weekend" I was stunned into silence, all i could think was, how the hell am I going to get out of this. I know what you're thinking, they're my family i should love and cherish them and all the happy memories, but the only happy memory I have was opening my first tarot i got from my other grandparents for christmas one year, the look on my dad's fathers face will always be one that brings a smile to my face. I mean they haven't done anything devastating to me, they never left me in a freeway gas station, or tried to feed me to the lions at the zoo, but they are of the religious sort that makes you want to answer the door naked when they come knocking just set their pacemakers jumping. I was drug to church in pretty little dresses and pranced around like a show dog to all who would here of how my parents don't take me to church and how it's their godly duty to bring me up in the light and keep my precious soul from satan. *insert eyeroll here* I was sent to bible camps, but i think they got to concerned when i liked them too much, but then when you're left out in the middle of nowhere in a co-ed camp for a week, nature takes it course far faster than God's. I assumed they gave up on me, till my dad's father approached(cornered) me after receiving my tarot deck and confessed that witchcraft runs deep in on his side of the family and after he moved to Canada he started praying that none of us would show the signs and that he's being praying for me nightly cause he always thought I was different. After retrieving my lower jaw from the floor, I grinned and said that they were on my christmas wishlist and my grandmother and I had gone hunting a bunch of shops together to narrow down the ones i would like and in no means would i ever get rid of them. He didn't talk to me for a couple years other than hi's when I brought my kids up to visit with his wife. My dad's mom is sweet, loving and quite, she doesn't stand up to him and it's sad, but it's old fashioned love a.k.a he knocked her up so they had to get married, of course when i never knew this till i got pregnant and i was told i was supposed to get married, but I sure as hell was not getting married, I have three kids and am still not married, much to his loathing, but his opinion matters not, I'm not married cause weddings are expensive and the father of my children is a bit lacking in the social criteria for a wedding, he doesn't like people and doesn't want to get married in front of people fortunately he's never seen the 150 people guest list I made for fun. Back to the dreaded weekend, I arrived at my parents house, hyperventilating into a paper bag as my nerves sailed out the window, said my mantra "this too shall pass" took a deep breathe and waltzed in. My kids are well trained and ran and hugged their great-grandparents, got home made clothes only my 4 year old will wear ( i noticed my 10 year old daughter had stuffed her little-house-on-the-prairie style dress under a pile of stuffed animals) as I walked straight to the fridge and grabbed myself a drink. All I could think is "one weekend just one weekend". I spent the whole thing ignoring comments about how fat me and my mother are from my grandfather while my grandmother regaled us with with stories from my hypochondriac aunt and her 5 children, who I refuse to speak to for much more serious reasons, listening to my father storm about the house swearing at his father under his breath, watched my mother "misplace" a bottle of tequila(she rarely drinks anything stronger than water), grinned as my 4 year old drove my grandparents insane with her endless questions and smirked as the older two used their full athletic abilities to climb trees, scale walls and give everyone but me heart failure while I chain smoked in the backyard. Not sure if that counts as revenge, but it will have to do. Each night I got home I lit one of my pretty smelly candles and some incense and contemplated it all. My mother has always said that they were too set int heir ways to change, but I can't believe that, people have life changing moments everyday, even at 78 years old, they have heart attacks and become active, they quit drinking, they find god, they start drinking, find the benefits of viagra, take up yoga or karate, why can't that self-righteous ass do the same. The night before they left, I blew out the candle to get ready for bed and thought of something my mom's mom always told me "You can pick your friends, but you can't pick your family" then I thought, that's why witches do curses!! :vhappywitch:
  7. Having family visit is always fun, trying and hectic, I packed up the kids and went to a neighboring town to a lovely park/greenspace/bird sanctuary thingy for a picnic. After stuffing our faces we went for a wander down one of the trails. I explained again to my children why we don't pick flowers in a park or what i mean to say as i pointed to the signs that say don't pick the flowers as I snuck closer to a large clump of bull rushes. Sighing to myself I remember my mother saying " When I said be an example, I meant a good one" and pouted as I walked away from the rushes and went to take pictures of the turtles and the osprey praising myself for not damaging the eco-system. Turning around we watch a police zodiac towing an over-turned stolen boat into the area and watch 2 tow trucks chug, tug, pull and lift the boat out and load it onto a flat deck. Looking back over the well manicured lawn, planted flower beds and paved parking area as the tow trucks, police cars and bylaw officers each take their own vehicles and drive away, then glance back at the trodden path through trees and bird droppings, I wonder how any of it survives all the pollutant crap we dump into it on a daily basis. How much crap do they spend, spray and wash into the sanctuary and yet the little turtles still swim and the ospreys and herons still eat. Some may see it as a good example of how we can co-exist with our natural planet but maintain the leisures of picnic tables and flushing toilets. I see it as us forcing what our ideals of nature should be and a good demonstration how yes nature can be forgiving, but it still suffers.
  8. Celina

    Cutting the cord

    I was highly impressed after reading the article on this site about severing etheric cords, and immediately my mind focused on this one woman I know that after a 5 minute conversation I want to have a nap, it's not that she's dull or boring, I have known her for years, but she literally drains the energy from me like some sort of sponge. Then I thought, my boss, he should not only be at the top of the list, but be a list all his own, then I remembered that there is no cure for stupid and I'd have to do that ritual every 2 minutes. As I pondered this dilemna, i resolved to make a list of all the people that seem to drain me, one of my kids started asking me inane questions about nothing inparticular and I began to think... can i severe the patience draining ties of my children... I mean really wouldn't it be nice at the end of the day to perform a small balancing ritual that breaks the energy-sucking ties to your children and get a good nights sleep??? It sounds great, a little insensitive, but I do have 3 kids and sensitivity is usually crushed after the second kid along with all theories on boiling pacifiers after they fall on the floor, hand washing every item of clothing and bibs ( no kid actually only messes on just the bib) So I stop and look at my kids, analyzing their every life-sucking tendencies, one girl 10 going on 16, one boy 9 with more energy than an atom bomb and my princess 4 year old that assumes the world revolves around her and I think, draining yes, but worth every moment of it.
  9. I've always enjoyed the ability to look up random things i hear or see to learn more from on my computer, sometimes recipes or conversions when chatting about the weather to my american friends, and damn it all my friends live in my computer. Lately Google is pissing me off, I haven't decided if my uncanny ability to pick keywords to get what i want is failing, or a large variety of idiots have decided to boost the dumbest link to the top purely for shits and giggles, or the little man in my fridge that turns the light on and off has been coming on late at night and filtering all intelligence from the search engine like some sort of parent control. ( i wish he would download the justin bieber filter while he's at it) I can't find what exactly I'm looking for anymore, I just wanted a quick illustrated guide to plants so i could see what parts of some of the plants i'm picking can be used, I thought it was a simple request, keywords canadian, plants, uses..... After skimming by all the marijuana references I get stuck with wikipedia....I'm sure at one point this was a useful service, like the encyclopedia set your grandmother bought you for christmas that are in a box in your attic gathering dust holding useful facts like the 30 year old population rates of Japan, having a site that condenses all the information on the web about a specific thing, only to get a page of the links they got the info from to begin with. Once you get there you go link crazy, to hell with 8 degree's of separation, I could go from a wikipedia link on the war of 1812 and land of kevin bacon in three clicks at the most and then once you reminisced the 80's you're ready for youtube and a stiff drink. Mean while I've gone to the library got a book that's more than my expectations that i can take with me and off i skip down the trail humming "footloose".
  10. Celina

    So Much Stuff

    I know there are many aspects to all things witchy, but where to start, i want to know it all, but a part of my brain is telling me to hone the pieces i know, but with so much information it's hard to keep to it. Being easily distracted does not help this....squirrel??? Learning to use an inherited trait is driving me crazy, I think I'll leave the psychic side of me to randomly tell me things when it wants, my brain hurts when i try to tap into it, but then there's that damned squirrel again. I mean i know some herbs and their uses, I grew up knowing them, should i expand, search every plant in the area, cause my other half will be oh so thrilled when on top of my rocks there's more plants and flowers... I don't think he or the squirrel have found the dandelion roots in the pantry yet. *fingers crossed* Healing has always been natural like a 6th sense, that or i just like telling people what's wrong with them and then they seem to see the squirrel and change the subject. The urge to go buy a cauldron and start throwing things in is tempting and I've always wanted to make myself a wand, although that usually ends when i've poked myself in the eye with a stick and pitch it back into the woods where the blasted squirrel can have the damned thing. I tried my hand at crocheting, I sat down and visualized myself making a hat, my very own witch's hat to wear when i go out looking for my witchy things, that bloody squirrel now has a lovely knobbly tea cozy. I see all these sites with shiny pretty products, talismans, clothes, coloured candles (maybe a brown one will get rid of this squirrel), incense burners, pentagrams, fairies, satan doll, cutesy voodoo keychains and all i can think is what ever happened to hags on brooms with cats. Maybe thats what i need, a cat..... he can eat that good for nothing squirrel and i can go back to being me.
  11. Opening a door for the first time Knowing what lies behind Accepting the knowledge That's already known Like curling up in a new blanket Warm from the thoughts it's seen Pulling on brand new shoes That are already broken in Unpacking a box of photos That I never took Having a unused witch's body That I have grown up in
  12. I picked up the "immortal life of nicholas flamel" by michael scott as a fluff read, but may check out the rest of the series for fun and i'm reading one of my usual re-reads sherlock holmes.
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