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Grandma Goes to Court


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Lawyers should never ask a Mississippi Grandma a question, if they are not prepared for the answer.


In a trial, a Southern small time Prosecuting Attorney called his first witness, a grandmotherly, elderly woman to the stand. He approached her and asked,


" Mrs. Jones, do you know me ? " She responded, " Why yes, I do know you, Mr. Williams. I've known you since you were a boy, and frankly you've been a big disappointment to me. You lie, you cheat on your wife, and you talk about people behind their backs and manipulate them. You think you're a big shot, when you haven't the brains to realize you'll never amount to anything, but a two bit paper pusher. Yes, I know you. "


The lawyer was stunned, not knowing what to say or do, he pointed across the room to the Defense Attorney and said, " Mrs. Jones, do you know him ? "


She again replied, " Why yes I do. I've known Mr. Bradley since he was a youngster too. He's lazy, a bigot, and has a drinking problem. He can't build a normal relationship with anyone, and his law practice is one of the worst in this entire State. Not to mention, he's cheated on his wife with 3 different women, one of them being yours. Yes I know him."


The Defense Attorney, nearly died.


The Judge asked both councelors to approach the bench, and in a quiet low voice said.


" If either of you idiots ask her if she knows me, I will send you both to the electric chair. "








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