Jump to content

How do you tell the difference between a Canadian Police Officer, an Australian Police Officer and an American Police Officer?


Cam

Recommended Posts

QUESTION: You're on duty by yourself walking on a deserted street late at night.

Suddenly, an armed man with a huge knife comes around the corner, locks eyes with you, screams obscenities, raises the knife, and lunges at you.

 

You are carrying a Glock 40 and you are an expert shot, however you have only a split second to react before he reaches you.

What do you do?

 

 

 

ANSWER:

 

 

CANADIAN POLICE OFFICER:

 

Firstly the officer must consider the man's Human Rights.

1) Does the man look poor or oppressed?

 

2) Is he newly arrived in this country and does not yet understand the law?

 

3) Is this really a knife or a ceremonial dagger?

 

4) Have I ever done anything to him that would inspire him to attack?

 

5) Am I dressed provocatively?

 

6) Could I run away?

 

7) Could I possibly swing my gun like a club and knock the knife out of his hand?

 

8) Should I try and negotiate with him to discuss his wrong doings?

 

9) Does the Glock have appropriate safety built into it?

 

10) Why am I carrying a loaded gun anyway, and what kind of message does this send to society?

 

11) Does he definitely want to kill me, or would he be content just to wound me?

 

12) If I were to grab his knees and hold on, would he still want to stab and kill me?

 

13) If I raise my gun and he turns and runs away, do I get blamed if he falls over, knocks his head and kills himself? .

 

14) If I shoot and wound him, and lose the subsequent court case, does he have the opportunity to sue me, cost me my job, my credibility and the loss of my family home?

 

 

AUSTRALIAN POLICE OFFICER:

BANG!

 

 

 

AMERICAN POLICE OFFICER:

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

 

'click'...Reload...

 

BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG! BANG!

(Sergeant arrives at scene later and remarks: 'Nice grouping!').

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Haha.

Over here in good old Blighty it would be..

 

Zapp with a taser till unconscious then beat the living crap out of him in the holding cell - then claim he accidentally fell down the stairs at the station (even though there aren't any).

The CPS Crown Prosecution Service (Criminal Protection Service) will then let him off with a slap on the wrist/ASBO.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm Canadian...and proud to say I just don't understand gun humour. I have two friends who are police officers...I think this joke was written by an American because it's not accurate about Canadians. Completely inaccurate people. We have police officers that react in split seconds like everyone else.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I'm Canadian, and I viewed it as just humor, a joke, light hearted fun. In fact, the father of a Police Officer, the same officer that is my student and friend, sent the joke to me. I sent it on to two other Officers I know, and they will have forwarded it onto to their buddies in the Force, because they found it funny, based on the exaggeration with a good element of truth in it.

 

Having worked in the Justice System, and having more than a few friends who are Police Officers, I can say that there is a lot more justification needed in Canada to pull out a glock than it seems with most American Police Officers. For example, when the RCMP stop someone on the road, the officer gets out and goes to the car he/she stopped. In the USA, more often than not, the officer opens up his door, takes a shooting position behind it, and has his gun trained on the driver of the car. In Canada, If an officer shoots his gun, there is a whole inquiry as to the circumstances to see if it was justified. I can't say it is not like this in the various states, but on the whole, I do not think it is to the depth that Canadian Police Officers have to go through.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Depends on the state I guess. But, it did happen to friends of mine. The officer was doing a routine check. He explained that so many officers were killed in the line of duty by walking up to the car. The officer had used a loud speaker telling them to exit the vehicle with their hands in the air. I dunno, maybe my friends looked like some murder suspects, but I have also see this done on American Live Action Cop Shows. I have also seen them walk up to the car as well.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

  • 2 weeks later...

Ok folks... I AM a cop. And it's funny! Relaxxxx... I've been there done that... If u haven't, you can't possibly understand

 

... Now back to my box of doughnuts ;-)

 

Ha ha ha ha ha! My mom and stepdad were LAPD and they'd think this is hysterical, like I do! And they loved donuts (though most of the young ones nowadays don't even drink coffee). It's stereotype humor, people! XD

Link to comment
Share on other sites

×
×
  • Create New...