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How to Preach to a Bear


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Three Holy Men and a Bear


A Catholic Priest, a Baptist Preacher and a Rabbi all served as

Chaplains to the students of Northern Michigan University at Marquette

in the Upper Peninsula of Michigan.


They would get together two or three times a week for coffee and to talk shop.


One day, someone made the comment that preaching to people isn't

really all that hard, a real challenge would be to preach to a bear.


One thing led to another, and they decided to do an experiment. They

would all go out into the woods, find a bear, preach to it, and

attempt to convert it to their religion.


Seven days later, they all came together to discuss their experiences.



Father Flannery, who had his arm in a sling, was on crutches, and

had various bandages on his body and limbs, went first.


'Well,' he said, 'I went into the woods to find me a bear. And when

I found him, I began to read to him from the Catechism.


Well, that bear wanted nothing to do with me and began to slap me

around. So I quickly grabbed my holy water, sprinkled him and, Holy

Mary Mother of God, he became as gentle as a lamb. The Bishop is

coming out next week to

give him first communion and confirmation.'


Reverend Billy Bob spoke next. He was in a wheelchair, had one arm

and both legs in casts, and had an IV drip.


In his best fire-and-brimstone oratory, he exclaimed, 'WELL,

brothers, you KNOW that we Baptists don't sprinkle! I went out and I

FOUND me a bear. And then I began to read to my bear from God's HOLY

WORD! But that bear wanted

nothing to do with me.


So I took HOLD of him and we began to wrestle. We wrestled down one

hill, UP another and DOWN another until we came to a creek. So I

quickly DUNKED him and BAPTIZED his hairy soul. And just like you

said, he became as gentle as a lamb. We spent the rest of the day

praising Jesus..Hallelujah!


The Priest and the Reverend both looked down at the Rabbi, who was

lying in a hospital bed. He was in a body cast and traction with IVs

and monitors running in and out of him. He was in really bad shape.


The Rabbi looked up and said: "Looking back on it,....circumcision

may not have been the best way to start."







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