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Soooo Sorry


CelticGypsy

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While conducting some business at the Court House, I overheard a lady, who had been arrested for assaulting a Mammogram Technician, say, " Your Honor, I'm guilty but... there were extenuating circumstances. " The female Judge said, sarcastically, " I'd certainly like to hear those extenuating circumstances. "

Well I did too so I listened as the lady told her story.

 

" Your Honor, I had a mammogram appointment, which I actually kept. I was met by this perky little clipboard carrier smiling from ear to ear and she tilted her had to one side and crooned, " Hi !!! I'm Brittney ! All I need you to do is step into this room right here, strip to the waist, and slip on this gown. Everything clear?" I'm thinking Brittney, try decaf. This ain't rocket science. Brittney then skipped away to prepare the chamber of horrors. With the right side finished , Brittney flipped me (literally) to the left and said, " Hmmmmm. Can you stand on your tippy toes and lean in a tad so we can get everything?? " "Fine. " I answered. I was freezing, bruised and out of air, so why not use remaining circulation in my legs and neck to finish me off ? My body was in a holding pattern that defied gravity ( with my other breast wedged between those two 4 inch pieces of square glass when I heard and felt a zaappp! Complete darkness, the power was off !! Brittney said, "Uh-oh, maintenance is working, bet they hit a snag." Then she headed for the door. " Excuse me!! You're NOT leaving me in this vise alone are you?!" I shouted. Brittney kept going and said,"Oh you fussy puppy... the door's wide open so you'll have the emergency hall lights. I'll be right back, tsk!" Before I could shout Nooo! She disappeard. And that's exactly how Bubba and Earl, "maintenance men extrordinaire" found me, half-naked with part of me dangling from the Jaws of Life and the other part smashed between glass!! After exchanging a polite Hi, how's it going type greeting Bubba or possibly Earl asked to my utter disbelief, if I knew the power was off. Trying to disquise my hysteria, I replied with as much calmness as possible, " Uh, yes, I did but thanks anyway ". "OK, you take care now" Bubba replied and waved good-bye as though I'd been standing in the line at the grocery store. TWO Hours later, Brittney breezes in wearing a sheepish grin. making no attempt to suppress her amusement, she said, "Oh I am soooo sorry !!! The power came back on and I totally forgot about you! And silly me, I went to luch. Are we upset??"

And that, Your Honor is exactly how her head ended up between the clamps..." The Judge could hardly contain her laughter as she said " Cased Dismissed !"

 

Regards,

Gypsy

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Although I've never had the power go out while being squished beyond belief, I can totally relate!!!

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woah! thats mad!

that will be something to look forward to in the years to come! I will have nightmares about that day. ;)

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roflmao! I can say, with complete certainty, that if someone left me in one of those damn things, their head would remain there until their eyeballs looked like Marty Feldman's!

 

Good one Gypsy!!

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