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The Newest Medications For Women


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Damitol -Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up to 8 hours.


St. Mom’s Wort - Plant extract that treats mom's depression by rendering her children unconscious for up to six hours.


Emptynestrogen - Highly effective suppository that eliminates melancholy by enhancing the memory of how awful they were as teenagers and how you couldn't wait till they moved out.


Peptobimbo - Liquid silicone for single women...2 full cups swallowed before an evening out increases breast size, decreases intelligence, and improves flirting.


Dumerol - When taken with Peptobimbo, can cause dangerously low IQ causing enjoyment of "blondie type activities."


Flipitor - Increases life expectancy of commuters by controlling road rage and the urge to flip off other drivers.


Menicillin - Potent antibiotic for older women...Increases resistance to such lines as, "You make me want to be a better person can we get naked now?"


Buy-agra - Injectable stimulant taken prior to shopping...Increases potency and duration of spending spree


Buy-one-al - When combined with Buy-agra, can cause an indiscriminate buying frenzy so severe the victim may even come home with a Donnie Osmond CD or a book by Dr. Laura.


Jackasspirin - Relieves headache caused by a man who can't remember your birthday, anniversary or phone number.


Anti-talksident - A spray carried in a purse or wallet to be used on anyone too eager to share their life stories with total strangers.


Sexcedrin - More effective than Excedrin in treating the, "Not now, dear, I have a headache," syndrome.


Ragamet - When administered to a husband, provides the same irritation as ragging on him all weekend, saving the wife the time and trouble of doing it herself.


:lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao: :lmao:

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