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Packed Lunch


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A woman was preparing some sandwiches for her husband to take to work for his lunch. There was some leftover meat - a good few days past its use-by date. 'Should I risk it?...Oh, why not; he won't notice the difference.'

She wrapped up the sandwiches, gave them to hubby, waved goodbye and sent him off to work. There were a few meat scraps left so she gave them to the cat whereupon it ate the meat, turned around in a few dizzy circles and dropped dead.

Worried now that her husband may suffer a similar fate, she 'phoned him and said: 'Don't eat the sandwiches!'

Too late! He had felt peckish on the train and ate the lot before he got to work. There was nothing for it but to go to the nearest hospital and suffer the horrors of having his stomach pumped and purged of the entire packed lunch. He came home pale and sick and weak after his ordeal.

Next morning, the woman opened to door to see the milkman standing there.

'How's your cat?' he asked.

'He's dead!' she replied. 'But how did you know?'

'Because yesterday morning, I dropped a bottle of milk on his head!'

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