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OMG!!!! It's only a Tampon!!!!


Clover

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Dear All,

 

I found this on the net... some Christian site.... Shows you how narrow minded these ppl can be... I dont know if i should laugh or feel sorry for the poor Sods!!!!

 

TAMPONS:

"Satan's Little Cotton Fingers!"

 

Landover Ladies Vow to "Stop Satan From Pulling The Strings!"

 

 

Ladies of Landover member Mrs. Taffy Davenport-Gaines Crockett, visiting the Landover Christian Pharmacy recently to refill the church tract display, happened upon a shocking sight. A young woman was visibly upset and arguing loudly with pharmacist Emma Mae Martin. What Mrs. Crockett discovered next sickened her unto the point of nausea.

"The young woman was trying to buy tampons," Mrs. Crockett said, barely able to hold back tears. "I snatched that girl by the hair and pulled her outside... there were children present! Can you imagine how they'd be damaged by hearing such evil ideas?"

 

“I explained to this young lady that we do not carry such phallic devices as tampons and when attending to her monthly curse," Mrs. Martin said, adding that "Satan himself controls the manufacturing of those things." The young woman then began to verbally abuse her, she said.

 

"A Godly woman is only to use a Maxi-Pad," Mrs. Crockett stated. "Why, they even have them with little angel wings now! I handed her a box and told her unless she wanted my handprint across her face she was never to utter that evil T word again!” The as yet unidentified woman then fled the store in humiliation. Landover Security sketch artists are preparing a likeness to aid in identifying the young woman. Her salvation status is unknown, but based on this event, it is likely she is Hellbound.

 

"Toxic Shock Syndrome is God's way of punishing unsaved harlots who choose Satan’s cotton fingers over a Godly pad," Pastor Deacon Fred stated upon hearing of the event. "These playthings of Satan are created under the guise of a ladies hygiene product to bring unsuspecting women and young girls to the fold of the Devil."

 

Church members are commanded to talk to your teen-age daughters, and search their rooms if you have to. "Souls are at stake and God is taking names," added Pastor Wiley.

 

Mrs. Crockett has organized the Ladies of Landover Phone Bank to spread the word, and has called for both a letter writing protest campaign and a boycott on all stores who are found to carry these satanic sexual devices. Manufacturers who create such vile products will also be targeted for salvation, or, failing that, closure.

 

Mrs. Crockett has secured six 24-foot trucks for use in her new ministry, "Stop Satan From Pulling The Strings." She and the other Ladies of Landover plan a nationwide tour, going city to city, pulling what she calls "The Devil's delight" from store shelves once clerks are distracted. Upon the ladies' return, Mrs. Crockett plans a large bonfire.

 

“We shall pray over the flames as we watch these evil devices go back to the fiery pits of hell from whence they came,” Mrs. Crockett said during her church news conference, adding, "these things are created by Satan for pleasure, and young women are succumbing to the Devil without even realizing it. This is one battle Satan will NOT win!" Her statements drew a standing ovation from the congregation.

 

All church members are encouraged to join in the BBQ and bring a covered dish as we celebrate yet another Victory over Satan. Marshmallows for roasting over the bonfire will be provided by The Ladies of Landover. Due to the nature of this event, the roasting of hot dogs will be prohibited for obvious reasons.

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Dear All,

 

I found this on the net... some Christian site.... Shows you how narrow minded these ppl can be... I dont know if i should laugh or feel sorry for the poor Sods!!!!

Ahh, so many people keep falling for this site :applause:

 

http://www.landoverbaptist.org/tos.html

 

"Note: Mouse Over Below for Spoiler Alert:

The Landover Baptist Church is a complete work of fiction. It is a satire/parody.

End Spoiler Alert"

 

:wave:

 

I recall it has a good one about Wiccans...

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I also get great giggles, from The Onion, some of their satire, is just hysterical. There was one about King Tut, bitching about... " Where's my Fucking Stuff ! "... I died laughing.

 

Regards,

Gypsy

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Well that is a relief! I was honestly thinking that they are extremely brave talking about all those things so openly in this day and age!

 

But funny enough, where I come from I have encountered quite a few girls that weren’t allowed to use tampons because of their religious belief… its amazing how conservative people can be.

 

In South Africa, if you even let on that you are not a Christian, they have a “travelling Service” that will contact you by whatever means they can and arrange an “intervention” (I should know, I was one of them)

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Guest Magdalena

This may be a fictional happening, but fact is, there really are people in the world brainwashed at this level and worse.

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In South Africa, if you even let on that you are not a Christian, they have a “travelling Service” that will contact you by whatever means they can and arrange an “intervention” (I should know, I was one of them)

 

And what exactly is this intervention? What are they interveneing? O.o

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And what exactly is this intervention? What are they interveneing? O.o

 

 

Well, they contact you by phone first to verify the “rumours” then if you do as I did and told them it has nothing to do with them, they will contact your parents, school ect… follow you in one of their vans (clearly marked with their saviour sings), put all sorts of Bible quotes and “lessons” in your post box, and call you constantly to tell you about church groups that you may be interested in.

 

My first call was disgusting, how they were trying to force their religion down my throat… “When you dabble in the ‘other side’ its not only you that you are putting at risk but your family too… do you really want to be responsible for all the bad things that happen to them?” It was a terrible time for me back then and it wasn’t until my father put in a complaint and said that what I do is none of their concern and he doesn’t give a flying fuck what I do, and for them to back off or he would get the cops involved…

 

It’s a totally different life style over there, we don’t have any shops or open discussions over any other religions other than Christianity, it took me almost 3 years to find the confidence to disclose my beliefs to any other people in Australia, and it was like I was able to breath again…

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Guest Magdalena

Well, they contact you by phone first to verify the “rumours” then if you do as I did and told them it has nothing to do with them, they will contact your parents, school ect… follow you in one of their vans (clearly marked with their saviour sings), put all sorts of Bible quotes and “lessons” in your post box, and call you constantly to tell you about church groups that you may be interested in.

 

My first call was disgusting, how they were trying to force their religion down my throat… “When you dabble in the ‘other side’ its not only you that you are putting at risk but your family too… do you really want to be responsible for all the bad things that happen to them?” It was a terrible time for me back then and it wasn’t until my father put in a complaint and said that what I do is none of their concern and he doesn’t give a flying fuck what I do, and for them to back off or he would get the cops involved…

 

It’s a totally different life style over there, we don’t have any shops or open discussions over any other religions other than Christianity, it took me almost 3 years to find the confidence to disclose my beliefs to any other people in Australia, and it was like I was able to breath again…

 

I would say I cannot believe people would have the front to do this, but I can believe it and such things instantly bring the vile disgusting Phelp family to mind. I think they should re-think who should be burnt at the stake.

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This may be a fictional happening, but fact is, there really are people in the world brainwashed at this level and worse.

 

 

Yeah but they are nowhere near as hilarious...

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LMAO Some fanaticals still believe in this shit, even tho it's really fake. I haven't done any research on christianity and the use of tampons tho, So im lost to the convo. LOL

 

I was 'attempted to be saved; once. by Jehovas Witness! those buggers just don't stop! Tell them you aren't interested, they come back, the last time they knocked, however, I flew open the door, told them Id get my flying broom and beat them with it if they didn't leave me and my witchcraft be! If ever to set foot on my doorstep again, Id raise the likes they were terrified of and send the demons after them!

Fawkers never came back! not even knocked on my neighbors doors again... was the MOST FUN!

 

this was 2006/07? in NASA area of South Houston, TX. boogers were trespassing anyway, for there was to be no 'Solicitation' on the property! :)

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  • 2 weeks later...

They annoy the crap outa me too... I have them every Saturday, and I was once told that when they walk the streets, they go on the "feeling from with in" on who needs saving and then knock on their doors... What EVA!!! its the biggest load of horse shit! If i needed "saving" i would go looking for them! Toss heads :fasttalk:

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  • 2 weeks later...
  • 1 month later...
Guest loki1980

ROFL...... omg y dont these people get a clue lol, i like it when they come preaching to your door and realise ive got a penetgram tattoo lol.

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  • 2 weeks later...

Are you seriously saying people follow women that look like this?!!post-614-027104300 1287778990_thumb.jpg

 

 

OMG, I would run a mile and never look back:bullshit:

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ROFL...... omg y dont these people get a clue lol, i like it when they come preaching to your door and realise ive got a penetgram tattoo lol.

 

Oh, how I wish one would show up at my door!! I'd invite them in to have a look around...............they would probably run screaming from the house and burn a cross in my yard, but it would be worth it!! :roflhard:

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