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One eyed bastard


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#1 Guest_Magdalena_*

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Posted 25 April 2010 - 10:10 AM

I did not find this funny until I read the last line, the vision creased me up laughing.

Once there was a one eyed man who walked in to a pet shop
He said "Hi I'd like to buy that parrot"
The clerk said "I think that the bird will make fun of your one eye
The guy laughingly says "I think I can deal with it"
He gets the bird home and says "Polly want a cracker?"
The bird replied "Fuck you you one eyed bastard"
Then the guy hit the parrot on the head with a spoon
He says "Polly want a cracker?" and the bird says "Fuck you you one eyed bastard"
Then he puts the bird in the microwave for 30 seconds and says it again and again the bird says "Fuck you you one eyed bastard"
So he puts it in the freezer and says he will come back in ten minutes
He ends up falling asleep for 3 hours
He wakes up and says "Oh shit the bird"
He goes upstairs to get the bird, opens the freezer and sees the bird frozen solid with his middle finger up and one wing over his eye

Edited by Magdalena, 25 April 2010 - 10:19 AM.
changed "hand" to `wing`


#2 Priest

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Posted 13 July 2011 - 09:03 AM

That is a very fasinating experience. I have always been inspired by healing magic and have always wanted to study it but never could find a teacher that seemed to know a good method of teaching to get me started. Thank you for sharing.
Casey "Priest" McG

~ No one on earth has the right to judge another. Judgment implies perfection and nobody is perfect.

#3 Jevne

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Posted 13 July 2011 - 10:40 AM

That is a very fasinating experience. I have always been inspired by healing magic and have always wanted to study it but never could find a teacher that seemed to know a good method of teaching to get me started. Thank you for sharing.


Are you by any chance trying to be funny or did you reply to the wrong thread? LOL!


#4 Guest_Magdalena_*

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Posted 13 July 2011 - 11:48 AM

Are you by any chance trying to be funny or did you reply to the wrong thread? LOL!


I hope it's the latter. ;)


#5 Priest

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Posted 13 July 2011 - 01:31 PM

LOL holy crap, I did reply to the wrong thread. I was reading about the Miracle Healing thread and my reply was for that. I have no idea how it ended up on this one. Sorry about that. I checked out the Miracle Healing article again and for some reason all of our posts are under that one as well. Strange. Sorry again. I wasn't trying to be a smartass, promise. lol

I hope it's the latter. ;)


Edited by Priest, 13 July 2011 - 01:41 PM.

Casey "Priest" McG

~ No one on earth has the right to judge another. Judgment implies perfection and nobody is perfect.

#6 CelticGypsy

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Posted 13 July 2011 - 03:21 PM

That is a very fasinating experience. I have always been inspired by healing magic and have always wanted to study it but never could find a teacher that seemed to know a good method of teaching to get me started. Thank you for sharing.



Are you by any chance trying to be funny or did you reply to the wrong thread? LOL!



I hope it's the latter. ;)


:roflhard: :roflhard: :roflhard: :roflhard:

" The last thing you wanted a Witch to do is get bored and start making her own amusements, because Witches sometimes have erratically famous ideas about what was amusing "

 

Terry Pratchett Legends 1 


#7 Guest_Magdalena_*

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Posted 13 July 2011 - 03:38 PM

LOL holy crap, I did reply to the wrong thread. I was reading about the Miracle Healing thread and my reply was for that. I have no idea how it ended up on this one. Sorry about that. I checked out the Miracle Healing article again and for some reason all of our posts are under that one as well. Strange. Sorry again. I wasn't trying to be a smartass, promise. lol




No worries Priest. Not your fault. ;)


#8 Guest_Magdalena_*

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Posted 13 July 2011 - 03:39 PM

:roflhard: :roflhard: :roflhard: :roflhard:


:teehee:


#9 Guest_Elfyd_*

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Posted 13 July 2011 - 04:03 PM

Are you by any chance trying to be funny or did you reply to the wrong thread? LOL!




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#10 LdyShalott

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Posted 13 July 2011 - 04:21 PM

Not sure which is funnier.. The One eyed bastard or J... LOL

Most witches don’t believe in gods. They know that the gods exist, of course. They even deal with them occasionally. But they don’t believe in them. They know them too well. It would be like believing in the postman.  T.P.

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You are a tiny little soul carrying around a corpse.-- Epictetus
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#11 Tana

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Posted 13 July 2011 - 09:01 PM

Pointless tidying this thread up... too funny!!Posted Image
)0( Tana )o(

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#12 Lexi

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Posted 14 July 2011 - 12:13 AM

I'M CRYING, OMG! THIS IS TOO FUNNY! OOOOOW, MY SIDE!

Posted ImagePosted ImagePosted ImagePosted Image

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#13 firebird

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Posted 15 July 2011 - 07:44 PM

Not sure which is funnier.. The One eyed bastard or J... LOL


:roflhard:


#14 Oakbuchanan

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Posted 15 July 2011 - 07:51 PM

Hilarious! lol