Wyrd Posted January 27, 2010 Share Posted January 27, 2010 SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2009!! A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam... 'Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow.. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!' A smart-ass student in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, 'What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?' The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shook her head and sweetly said, 'Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand.' A BONUS EXTRA A woman is standing nude looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly... I really need you to pay me a compliment.' The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect. :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dawn Posted January 27, 2010 Share Posted January 27, 2010 :laugh1:SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2009!! A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam... 'Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow.. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!' A smart-ass student in the back of the room raised his hand and asked, 'What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?' The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shook her head and sweetly said, 'Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand.' A BONUS EXTRA A woman is standing nude looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly... I really need you to pay me a compliment.' The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect. :) Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Grymdycche Posted January 27, 2010 Share Posted January 27, 2010 lol! This reminds me, I just saw the Biography special on Rodney Dangerfield.He was on the old Tonight show w/ Johnny Carson, and says, "The last time I made love with my wife, it was just ridiculous, know what I'm saying..? It just wasn't happening. I looked and her and said, "What's the matter? Can't you think of anyone either?"" Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wollf Posted January 27, 2010 Share Posted January 27, 2010 hahaha! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nyx Posted January 27, 2010 Share Posted January 27, 2010 LOL!!! Ah, I had to read the first one twice to understand it properly!! :blondmoment: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mountain Witch Posted January 28, 2010 Share Posted January 28, 2010 (edited) :roflhard: Edited January 28, 2010 by Mountain Witch Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Dad0Seven Posted January 28, 2010 Share Posted January 28, 2010 SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR 2009!! A BONUS EXTRA A woman is standing nude looking in the bedroom mirror. She is not happy with what she sees and says to her husband, 'I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly... I really need you to pay me a compliment.' The husband replies, 'Your eyesight's damn near perfect. :) Addendum: A wife comes home from her annual physical elated. Husband ask what's up. She replies "My doctor said that I was in great shape and even complimented me. He said that I had the breasts and tummy of a 21 year old." Her husband thought for a moment (obviously not long enough) and replied, "Did he say anything about your 50-year-old ass?""Nope", she replied, "Your name didn't come up in the conversation at all....". Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wyrd Posted January 28, 2010 Author Share Posted January 28, 2010 Addendum: A wife comes home from her annual physical elated. Husband ask what's up. She replies "My doctor said that I was in great shape and even complimented me. He said that I had the breasts and tummy of a 21 year old." Her husband thought for a moment (obviously not long enough) and replied, "Did he say anything about your 50-year-old ass?""Nope", she replied, "Your name didn't come up in the conversation at all....". :roflhard: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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