Jump to content

Twenty eight lines to make you smile


Wyrd

Recommended Posts

1 My husband and I divorced over religious differences He thought he was God and I didn't

2 I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it

3 Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them

4 I used to have a handle on life, but it broke

5 Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive

6 You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me

7 Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder

8 Earth is the insane asylum for the universe

9 I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are missing

10 Out of my mind Back in five minutes

11 NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine

12 God must love stupid people; He made so many

13 The gene pool could use a little chlorine

14 Consciousness: That annoying time between naps

15 Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

16 Being 'over the hill' is much better than being under it!

17 Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up

18 Procrastinate Now!

19 I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?

20 A hangover is the wrath of grapes

21 A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance

22 Stupidity is not a handicap Park elsewhere!

23 They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken

24 He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD

25 A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three

thousand times the memory

26 Ham and eggs A day's work for a chicken,a lifetime commitment for a pig

27 The trouble with life is there's no background music

28 I smile because I don't know what the heck is going on

Link to comment
Share on other sites

LOL! Thanks Rus! This did bring a smile to my face LOL!

 

 

 

1 My husband and I divorced over religious differences He thought he was God and I didn't

2 I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it

3 Some people are alive only because it's illegal to kill them

4 I used to have a handle on life, but it broke

5 Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive

6 You're just jealous because the voices only talk to me

7 Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder

8 Earth is the insane asylum for the universe

9 I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are missing

10 Out of my mind Back in five minutes

11 NyQuil, the stuffy, sneezy, why-the-heck-is-the-room-spinning medicine

12 God must love stupid people; He made so many

13 The gene pool could use a little chlorine

14 Consciousness: That annoying time between naps

15 Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

16 Being 'over the hill' is much better than being under it!

17 Wrinkled Was Not One of the Things I Wanted to Be When I Grew up

18 Procrastinate Now!

19 I Have a Degree in Liberal Arts; Do You Want Fries With That?

20 A hangover is the wrath of grapes

21 A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance

22 Stupidity is not a handicap Park elsewhere!

23 They call it PMS because Mad Cow Disease was already taken

24 He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD

25 A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three

thousand times the memory

26 Ham and eggs A day's work for a chicken,a lifetime commitment for a pig

27 The trouble with life is there's no background music

28 I smile because I don't know what the heck is going on

Link to comment
Share on other sites

×
×
  • Create New...