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Disillusioned Wiccan? Yep, that was me.


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#101 Guest_Elfyd_*

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Posted 30 April 2011 - 12:30 AM

Hi Elfyd,

if you have a look through old posts, some going back to 2006, you will find a lot of questioning posts by members of one another. It's been part of the site since it started, it can be a different dynamic from other sites. It's not better or worse, just different.

You will also notice that in many of the older threads members got quite heated in their discussions, but in general it's served to clarify their understanding of one anothers perspectives. Much of ths is understandable when considering the wide range of Traditions of our members and their differing life experiences. The challenge and response (and indeed pointed questions at times) have sometimes led to ruffled feathers but in the main have served to broaden members' understanding of one another and their understanding of others practices as far as such can be explained or alluded to in what is a public forum.

Naturally Moderators will have a word where they feel it necessary to do so, it hasn't happened too often due to the sites members being generally able to moderate themselves and either draw back from discussions or find clarification by private message.


Brian, overall I would agree with you. I have been on sites that were quite vitriolic and also encouraged other-faith bashing. This place is actually a breath of fresh air, almost everyone is positive and constructive and i feel that many are actual friends if only in the aethernet. What caused me pause was the manner in which one or two people were treated with an edge quite cutting. Maybe I AM "sensitive" to things like this.
After finding this place i shall not be leaving easily, I may withdraw some of my posts for a while and be a spectator, a pause can be good.
Thank you for taking the time to post the above.

FFFF
Elf




#102 Tana

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Posted 30 April 2011 - 09:24 PM

I don't think you need to withdraw Elf. There is room for many differing views here and through the discussions generated we have a chance to dust off our own beliefs and may broaden, or affirm them accordingly. We often comment that the problem with an online forum is the nature of communication here is limited to the written word. As humans I think we depend on the nuances of body language and gesture when conversing and the lack of them can sometimes alter the intention of a poster. So a wry or humorous comment can come across as critical. I am not saying that is solely the reason people are snippy, Sometimes people simply are! If it happens to me, and it has, I just take it on the chin and either post to clear up any misunderstanding or shrug and move on. Gradually as you recognise members posting style as well as getting to know them better through chat, you will push through this reticence. One thing I think we can all agree on... the best Witches are feisty!
)0( Tana )o(

If I break faith with thee, may the skies fall upon me, the seas drown me, and the earth rise up and swallow me.

#103 Absinthe

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Posted 30 April 2011 - 10:33 PM

I don't think you need to withdraw Elf. There is room for many differing views here and through the discussions generated we have a chance to dust off our own beliefs and may broaden, or affirm them accordingly. We often comment that the problem with an online forum is the nature of communication here is limited to the written word. As humans I think we depend on the nuances of body language and gesture when conversing and the lack of them can sometimes alter the intention of a poster. So a wry or humorous comment can come across as critical. I am not saying that is solely the reason people are snippy, Sometimes people simply are! If it happens to me, and it has, I just take it on the chin and either post to clear up any misunderstanding or shrug and move on. Gradually as you recognise members posting style as well as getting to know them better through chat, you will push through this reticence. One thing I think we can all agree on... the best Witches are feisty!


That's so true, Tana. It's very easy to misread attitudes when we don't have facial expressions and body language to rely on. When interviewing clients before a Court appearance, I often ask them to remove their sunglasses as it's more difficult, I think, to see beyond a person's style of vocabulary to their sincerity if you can't see their eyes. Also, we all have moods and down days. I like the idea of the best witches being feisty. If a bit of bitchiness creeps in, I hope I'm big enough to smile at it and move on - and in some cases learn from it. With time and experience, you get to know whose opinion holds value for you personally. Why bother getting upset about the others? I hope we all have something better in common that keeps contributing worthwhile.

Nosce te ipsum, et sapere aude


#104 Guest_Elfyd_*

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Posted 30 April 2011 - 11:54 PM

All,
This state I find myself in right now probably can be traced back to a site I inhabited several months ago. Upon my first posting I was greeted with a response by a seasoned member. My post asked if any members had read anything by a certain author I was reading at the time, the member started off with "Are you looking for a fight?" Wha? An interchange resulted and several others tried to claim that this was in jest, the body of the text was NOT in jest at all. I carried the memory of this during the time there and noticed that it was actually commonplace to see jibes like this.
There is NO comparison to what I find here, but when something i find caustic aimed towards me or others i does tend to send the shields up!
We seem to have a good bunch here, I hope i am right.

FFFF
Elf


#105 Abraxia Thalgus

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Posted 01 May 2011 - 12:09 AM

Elf,

that other place sounds like a forum I used to belong to as well, though I think they are gone now. I found I had to turn into a hard-arsed bitch to have anything I said be accepted there. It was very demotivational and I never left there with a feeling of peace or of wanting to return. This place is different. People here won't accept what they perceive to be BS, but I don't see any of them making personal attacks at people, only at what is being said. I find if you explain again, in a different way what you were trying to say, it becomes more accepted. I just see it as the members trying to preserve a pretty good place here.

...you need a lot of courage in this life, to make some of the choices you have to make. That's natural. I mean, you can't sit back like an amoeba and just regenerate yourself. You've got to be an exciting, dynamic human being, and there are choices you're going to make that's going to cause you some difficulty, and if it requires some courage on your part, then do it. - Charles Perkins, Arunta Elder, 1998

#106 Michele

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Posted 01 May 2011 - 12:10 AM

We seem to have a good bunch here, I hope i am right.

FFFF
Elf


Hey u - yeah, we have a good bunch here, lol.

FFF (I'd add the 4th "F" but I'm not getting any right now :-(

M


#107 winter night

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Posted 01 May 2011 - 07:32 AM

Hey u - yeah, we have a good bunch here, lol.

FFF (I'd add the 4th "F" but I'm not getting any right now :-(

M


I am with Michelle on this (and she has a naughty sense of humour too!) we are a good bunch here.
Once you get to know everyones personality, through their posts, it does become alot easier to gauge what they mean. I know this may be harder if anyone is new to the site.

I don't think anyone of us would mind if our posts needed explaining further to clarify in what way something is being said.

In the past I have looked into other forums, in which everyone seemed to be bashing each other all the time, and in contrast a forum in which everyone was sooo overly soft and sweet that it soon became impossible to get any sort of feedback/opinion from anyone, as everyone was too timid to put forward their own opinions.

I believe there is a great balance here, and like a good family there will be times when we squabble, and also times when we all get totally engrossed in mad posts about 'chocolate bunnies' (thanks CG!).


And that's just half the fun!
:party:

winter night


#108 Wytchywoman

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Posted 14 May 2011 - 12:17 AM

I really enjoyed reading this thread as I think it fits the endeavors of so many of us so well, and albeit, many still out there feeling lost, not settling well with Wicca, yet still feeling drawn to witchcraft. Like the post author here, I recall always feeling a difference within me from others. As if there was a witch inside me waiting to come out. Then, as a very young teen, I think about 14, I finally embraced it. But being a young and impressionable teen, I dealt with a lot of confusing different people and sources, whether it be those that were making claims about white witches and black witches (which there is no such thing), implying that all *must* follow some three fold law, etc. etc. and etc. Meanwhile, as the owner of this site mentioned elsewhere, any book store you go to, you will typically only find Wiccan material to learn from. Back then it was even harder, as internet was not even in it's infancy stage til about two years later. All the rules and perfectionism described in much of these books were very frustrating and overwhelming. I could see that I was incompatible to Wiccan in just about every source I read which lead me into even more confusion, as I still would feel the witch inside me, yet it seemed the only way to be a witch was the way that Wiccan had cornered the market on, which of course was not compatible. After 7 years of the internal battle of trying to practice and be at peace with what I felt I was, yet feeling the constraints of Wicca not settling well, I had abandoned my way of life to explore other paths.

I kept going back and forth in life, between paths, until eventually it started occurring to me that Wicca is not the ONLY option out there. After more exploring and thankfully more resources at my disposal than when I was younger, I found that it holds absolutely true, that there are so many paths in Witchcraft, and found that the Traditional witchcraft way of life was the most compatible with me, and the only way that I could finally feel peace within myself, whereas I am no longer constrained by internal conflicts because something important about a belief system isn't boding well with me. I am free to be myself and take full responsibility for all my actions, including any spell that I cast, no matter what it is, with out being threatened by some kind of 3 fold law to keep me in line. Therefore, if I decide not to do, let's say a curse, it is sincerely because it was within me not to do that particular curse rather than because of some law from the religion of Wicca.

Like so many others that posted on this thread, I find this forum a breath of fresh air, and I wish there was more sources like this out there for others. It is about time that Traditional Witchcraft as well as other ways of life involved in the craft start getting noticed, so that those starting out new and not sure where they stand, can know much early on, that there are far more options out there than they first imagined. It saves from much frustrating or being put off from following such a truly and spiritually enriching path such as Witchcraft.

Smile! It makes people wonder what you're up to..

#109 Guest_Elfyd_*

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Posted 14 May 2011 - 02:51 AM

Hey Wytchywoman,
I echo much of what you said, I too (and others methinks) went through a wicca stage and although long gone I have benefited and learned from it.
I actually found solace in wicca at the time while going through a depressive period, this was valuable at the time. Now I feel I have "evolved" back to my TW roots, full circle as it seems.
I am glad you made it here, your life lessons will help you on your path and i hope your journey is a crooked one.
FFFF
Elf


#110 Wytchywoman

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Posted 15 May 2011 - 07:57 AM

Hey Wytchywoman,
I echo much of what you said, I too (and others methinks) went through a wicca stage and although long gone I have benefited and learned from it.
I actually found solace in wicca at the time while going through a depressive period, this was valuable at the time. Now I feel I have "evolved" back to my TW roots, full circle as it seems.
I am glad you made it here, your life lessons will help you on your path and i hope your journey is a crooked one.
FFFF
Elf


Indeed so! I think for many people, they started out in Wicca and at that particular time it was a good start for them. Then they evolved as they started to realize that much of their views were not consistent with Wicca. Some remain on that path and that is fine if that is truly what works for them, but for those that it doesn't, I always hope they come to realize other ways are out there for them.

I am glad to be here too, and I agree about the life lessons and boy oh boy my path sure has been crooked all the way. ;)

Smile! It makes people wonder what you're up to..