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Disillusioned Wiccan? Yep, that was me.


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#1 Luna

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Posted 03 March 2009 - 09:09 PM

Ok, so my first thread other than the intro & maybe one about newbies who never post… Hope I'm putting this in the correct place. I haven’t been on much since I joined…lots of “life” happening right now. You all know how it is! lol

Anyway…. I’ve always sort of known that I am a witch. Ever since I was little. I tried to learn the Tarot in my teens…Still can’t seem to get the hang of it, :red_witch:but anyway, back to the subject at hand…All the info I could readily find out there was all Wicca. And when that’s all you find, you think this is all there is, right? So finally, I sought to learn about & actually “practice” this witchcraft & began studying it more actively in my early 30’s (turning 40 soon). And so I’m going merrily along the Wiccan path for several years…completely fluffy…. :bunny: Blessed Be this & Blessed Be that…using what worked for me & discarding the rest of the stuff that didn’t. Then it occurred to me…. I’m discarding more than I’m keeping! Do I really need to soak in a tub for an hour, & go through all this pre circle casting stuff, watchtower calling, just to celebrate the full moon? Do I even need to cast a circle? When do you & when don’t you? All these questions started coming up.

I have done some spells out of necessity, & they worked out well. But I was constantly searching for Trad info. (So glad I finally found this site:vhappywitch:) Anyway, I think I just grew more & more frustrated with Wicca because of all the pre-preparations & prep stuff & every thing that you’re “supposed” to do BEFORE you can work magic. And all the different Gods & Goddesses… I think I started to just feel overwhelmed… :brickwall: So I stepped back from the Craft for awhile. And just couldn’t seem get back into it because, I’m the kind of person that just can’t do things half assed. If there’s a ritual to be done, it must be done right. But I just didn’t feel, as a solitary especially, that it was necessary to go through all this pre-magic or pre-ritual, or pre-sabbat stuff. I mean, you’ve spent an hour getting ready for a 10 minute ritual…I have a super busy life. Time is something I don’t have a whole bunch of to spare. So then I thought, am I just a lazy ass? But I’m totally NOT a lazy person. What to do?

Again, I’ve always known I’m a witch. I’ve always known inside myself that every place is sacred & perfectly fine to have my celebration or ritual or spell…I don’t need the prettiest Chalice, or Athame…or anything at all. Just me, my will & my intent....& nature.

Since finding & reading things on this site, it feels like starting over. And it’s funny to me (& possibly silly) that the song “Starting Over” by John Lennon has been ringing in my head for the last few days as I’ve thought about writing this thread. But I do feel that I’m starting over on my path in the Craft…well, not totally over. It’s almost like I’ve got to un-learn some stuff. De-program! lol

So anyways, that’s where I’m at now. I look forward to getting to know everyone here & chatting & stuff…hope I don’t come across totally ignorant here. Every one here seems so experienced & knowledgeable & friendly. I hope to learn much from you all. :)

"I'm not saying, I'm just saying..."

#2 Frankie

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Posted 03 March 2009 - 11:26 PM

Hi Luna.....I am sure that many people here have gone through and felt exactly the way you do. And I am one of those people. Like yourself, I started out with wicca....basically because it was all I could find. But all the preparations, and rules and laws became totally overwhelming and just did not sit right with me. When I found this site, it was almost as though i had been holding my breath because I let out one hell of a sigh of relief! The knowledge of the people on this site is incredible and I know you will learn so much....I know I have, and I still am.
Nature is open to the eyes that can see it.

#3 Luna

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Posted 04 March 2009 - 01:10 AM

Hi Frankie! Thanks for the encouragement. Nice to know others have felt like this. :) I too was SO relieved to find this site! I've already learned so much...or UN learned so much! lol!
"I'm not saying, I'm just saying..."

#4 Leigh

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Posted 04 March 2009 - 03:54 AM

You seem to be doing very well in your search. Unlearning is sometimes just as tedious as the learning. Be patient and keep going one step at a time.

#5 sarasuperid

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Posted 04 March 2009 - 04:01 AM

I looked into Wicca for just a bit--I learned right off that it was pretty much cobbled together from some trad stuff (a little bit) and a lot of ceremonial kabbalic golden dawn masonic type stuff, which is really patriarchal and doesn't sit right with me--I don't know how it manages to be so goddess focused when its deep down isn't so much.

A friend asked me, well does it matter where it came from, if it was created not that long ago whole cloth, if it works? And I thought about it, and I wondered, well does it work?

However, I grasped onto that little bit that was folklore and tradition and kept looking. Thats how I came upon more traditional practices and found more of a connection with my heritage and with my surroundings.

"A Craft, a calling, a set of Keys to unlock a particular cosmology that is borne, and born, in the blood of the practitioner, and sets the Work to be done with which one may commune with those who hold the patterns and keys of the life of the practitioner and hir stream. The Work is to be done, and we are to do it." --Aiseling the Bard

#6 Luna

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Posted 04 March 2009 - 03:06 PM

Yep, the more I studied & practiced, the more I found myself wishing to learn more about something older than Wicca. It truely never did sit right with me either...but you know, thinking "this is the way it's done" and all.... Now I totally know better. :D
"I'm not saying, I'm just saying..."

#7 Maypole

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Posted 04 March 2009 - 03:10 PM

Like Frankie says, sometimes when you know you are a witch and want to investigate further into it sometimes all we can find is info on wicca. I dunno why this is. My thoughts are that it is safe to write and read books on fluffy stuff, love and light etc rather than equally accepting the raw unpleasent side of our personalities like we can do in traditional witchcraft.

Whats the point in accepting one side of yourself and not the other? We supress ourselves sometimes because we fear not being `a good person`.

Thats my theory anyway.

xx

Edited by fagins girl, 04 March 2009 - 03:13 PM.


#8 Luna

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Posted 04 March 2009 - 03:22 PM

Hi fagins girl! :) Exactly....how can something claim to be in balance, if you only embrace the light? We have to embrace the dark side of ourselves, of nature also & learn to work with it. I haven't worked magick in so long, as I was just sooooo aggravated with all the excess ceremony of it all....but some circumstances are cropping up...& it's gonna be very interesting to see how it goes...now that I know what I know...or am unlearning what I knew...:lolol:
"I'm not saying, I'm just saying..."

#9 Luna

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Posted 10 March 2009 - 03:24 AM

Ok, time for an update:
I’ve figured myself out a bit. Previously I mentioned “stepping back from the Craft.” But apparently the only thing I stepped away from is Wicca. And once I did that, my witchcraft seems to flow more naturally. I’ve become even more aware than ever that witchcraft is truly part of all that I am. In the way I see the world around me, (I “feel” the changing of the seasons from the inside.) & the way I see & can many times “read” the people around me. From quickie little instant magick aimed for my convenience, to even a complicated working for something very important & worthwhile. (Those don’t happen often) So, I did stop with all the ceremony & bullshit of Wicca long ago, & in doing so, it has become more apparent to me that I practice my Craft daily in just about everything I do & don’t do. I kind of “caught myself” doing it… And I love that I’ve “found” myself again. :)

"I'm not saying, I'm just saying..."

#10 MoorDragon

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Posted 11 March 2009 - 05:24 PM

I was introduced to Wicca back in 2001 when I started dating a woman who turned out to be a High Priestess only four generations from Gardner. She initiated me and began my training by telling me to read as many books as I could find on the subject. Good thing she told me that because the more I read, the more I began to question the whole Wicca thing. When I discovered that Wicca was invented by Gardner not all that long ago by blending together bits and pieces from various other belief systems and some of his own fanciful beliefs, I really had to step back and wonder why the heck something as contrived as Wicca was so damn popular. Traditional Witches were almost looked upon as archaic throwbacks to some distant and forgotten age. But then I began to realize that the distant and nearly forgotten past is where the REAL witchcraft lives. I haven't joined any covens and aside from this forum, I don't belong to any other online groups, other than Witch's Voice where I like to read about recent news items.

My girlfriend is very much into Wicca, a student of Kerr Cuhulain and his particular brand of Wicca. She would like me to join, too, but I have mostly been a Seeker for years, constantly searching for truths. I love Traditional Witch because I believe I've found a group that sees things and has the same questions I have.

I'm still searching for the REAL witchcraft and this forum is a step in the right direction.

MoorDragon


#11 MoorDragon

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Posted 11 March 2009 - 07:20 PM

I was introduced to Wicca back in 2001 when I started dating a woman who turned out to be a High Priestess only four generations from Gardner. She initiated me and began my training by telling me to read as many books as I could find on the subject. Good thing she told me that because the more I read, the more I began to question the whole Wicca thing. When I discovered that Wicca was invented by Gardner not all that long ago by blending together bits and pieces from various other belief systems and some of his own fanciful beliefs, I really had to step back and wonder why the heck something as contrived as Wicca was so damn popular. Traditional Witches were almost looked upon as archaic throwbacks to some distant and forgotten age. But then I began to realize that the distant and nearly forgotten past is where the REAL witchcraft lives. I haven't joined any covens and aside from this forum, I don't belong to any other online groups, other than Witch's Voice where I like to read about recent news items.

My girlfriend is very much into Wicca, a student of Kerr Cuhulain and his particular brand of Wicca. She would like me to join, too, but I have mostly been a Seeker for years, constantly searching for truths. I love Traditional Witch because I believe I've found a group that sees things and has the same questions I have.

I'm still searching for the REAL witchcraft and this forum is a step in the right direction.

MoorDragon


#12 Luna

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Posted 11 March 2009 - 09:15 PM

When I discovered that Wicca was invented by Gardner not all that long ago by blending together bits and pieces from various other belief systems and some of his own fanciful beliefs, I really had to step back and wonder why the heck something as contrived as Wicca was so damn popular.


EXACTLY! Hit the nail right on the head. I felt exactly the same way. You put it into words so much better than I did. lol From day one I was in search of Traditional Witchcraft. REAL witchcraft...

"I'm not saying, I'm just saying..."

#13 Guest_Oakbuchanan_*

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Posted 12 March 2009 - 10:41 AM

EXACTLY! Hit the nail right on the head. I felt exactly the same way. You put it into words so much better than I did. lol From day one I was in search of Traditional Witchcraft. REAL witchcraft...


Yea I think its all about filtering out the necessary from the unnecessary, although I would have to say alot of the old school Wiccans, Valiente, bourne and so on were, at the time, trying to find the 'real' Witchcraft too..even Mr Gardener himself! But when eejits try to claim a monopoly on something as free and natural as Witchcraft and turn it into something restricted and unnatural then I feel there lies the problem..

Just to add my thoughts on what was said earlier in the thread.. I do think it is easy to be lazy, riding on the experiences of others (I know Ive done it).. and time is an issue, but there is no time if I get stuck in chronos until I find 'there is no time' lol.... Just a thought but I can keep physically healthy and fit just doing everyday life (walking instead of transport etc), but I wouldnt be able to run a 10k or a marathon without focused training, and some people never have that desire... but there are those who do... and the same could be said about this path, its something many can live and breath as part of there everyday life and still be enough for them to keep tuned into the magik all around them and is absolutley right for them, and others want to run the 10ks and marathons aswell, and make the time for the extra training...
So to me not wanting to soak in a ritual bathtub for an hour is not about being lazy more about not wanting to be limited or controlled by anothers proclamations about the right and wrong way to do things.
However lol having no time to dwell in no time is altogether a whole nother kettle of fish! lol


#14 Luna

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Posted 12 March 2009 - 04:46 PM

Howdy Oak! Very good points! I am one of those who will absolutely take the time to learn & study & strengthen my skills & abilities. Just not going to do unnecessary stuff.... ;) And I totally agree with you about those "old school Wiccans"... :)
"I'm not saying, I'm just saying..."

#15 EliseN

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Posted 13 March 2009 - 05:09 PM

Yea I think its all about filtering out the necessary from the unnecessary ... So to me not wanting to soak in a ritual bathtub for an hour is not about being lazy more about not wanting to be limited or controlled by anothers proclamations about the right and wrong way to do things.


So true, Oakbuchanan. Feeling like a witch since my first memories of life were formed, I started reading as much as I could on "witchcraft". Didn't realize that a lot of what I was reading (especially in last 20 years) was Wiccan and yeah - filled with a lot of ritual bath tub soaks! LOL.

I was just re-reading the limited amount of witchcraft (Wiccan) books I own and noting Scott Cunninghams describes using a 9 foot diameter circle for rituals. Not one room in my house is big enough for that size! And having a busy house of kids - it's just not practical.

I'm new here. I 'm hoping to find resources at this site and new book titles suggestions so I can continue on the traditional witchcraft path.

I'm now realizing I was closer to being a "witch" when I was 8 years old than when I was in my 20s and surrounding myself with the ubiquitous Wiccan books. What relief to realize it was not "me" but the material I was consuming!


#16 sophiadawn

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Posted 13 March 2009 - 06:20 PM

HEY!! What is wrong with the ritual tub soak?? JUST KIDDING!!! I love to soak in the bath tub, but it isn't part of a ritual unless you call getting warm and cozy and clean a ritual. :roflhard:

Actually, I was never a disillusioned wiccan because I just never did get into it completely enough to become disillusioned. Now, disillusioned xtian...yup.

Edited by sophiadawn, 13 March 2009 - 06:24 PM.
adding


#17 Beckula

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Posted 13 March 2009 - 06:38 PM

yes I had no idea what Wicca was until I happened to stop in an interesting shop at the age of 14, saw some stuff that looked cool, tried to ask about it, questioned to the third degree about my intentions, told I was wrong and that I was dangerous. Repeat ad nauseum for the next ten years. I don't care what they believe but in general the whole modern movement stinks like fundamentalism.

#18 Guest_Oakbuchanan_*

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Posted 13 March 2009 - 09:15 PM

HEY!! What is wrong with the ritual tub soak?? JUST KIDDING!!! I love to soak in the bath tub, but it isn't part of a ritual unless you call getting warm and cozy and clean a ritual. :roflhard:


No one said there was ought wrong with it :) cant think of a better daily ritual personaly, see my dirty bastard post lol


#19 Guest_eilistraee_*

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Posted 15 March 2009 - 01:41 PM

Does Wicca work? Well, Wicca is a religion and all religions "work" if their adherents believe it does. When a believing person says "Wicca works" what they may be saying is "Magic works." Because if you are a serious practitioner of magic (k) the magick will work no matter what religion you are or even if you have no religion.

Frances

Edited by Oakbuchanan, 15 March 2009 - 04:14 PM.


#20 Guest_Lea_*

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Posted 15 March 2009 - 03:19 PM

blessings Frances


Read this http://www.tradition...read.php?t=4159