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Same ole Shit!

Guest Oakbuchanan

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Guest Oakbuchanan

Taoism: "if you understand shit, it isn't shit"

Hinduism: "This shit has happened before"

Confucionism: "Confucius says: 'Shit happens' "

Buddhism: "shit will happen to you again"

Zen: "What is the sound of shit happening?"


Islam: "If shit happens, it is the will of Allah"

Sikhism: "leave our shit alone"

Jehova's Witness: "knock knock, shit happens"

Atheism: "I don't believe this shit"

Agnosticism: "can you prove that shit happens?"

Protestantism: "shit happens, amen to that"


Catholicism: "If shit happens, you deserve it"

Judaism: "Why does shit always happen to us?"

Orthodox Judaism: "So shit happens already"

Televangelism: "send money or shit will happen to you"

Rastafarianism: "let's smoke this shit"

Hare Krishna: "shit happnes rama rama"

Nation Of Islam: "don't take no shit"

New Age: "visualise shit happening"

Shintoism: "you inherit the shit of your ancestors"

Hedonism: "I love it when shit happens"

Satanism: "sneppah tihs"

Capitalism: "this is MY shit"

Feminism: "men are shit"

Existentialism: "what is shit, anyway?"

Scientology: "if shit happens, see Dianetics p.137"

Mormonism: "excrement happens" (don't say shit)

Baptism: "we'll wash the shit right off you"

Mysticism: "this is really weird shit"

Voodoo: "shit doesn't just happen - we make it happen"

Wicca: "you can make shit happen but shit will happen to you three times"

Disneyism: "bad shit doesn't happen here"

Communism: "lets share the shit"

Marxism: "you have nothing to lose by your shit"

Conspiracy Theorism: "THEY shit on us!"

Psycho-Analysis: "tell me about your shit"

Darwinism: "survival of the shittiest"

Amish: "modern shit is useless"

Suicidal: "Ive had enough of this shit"

Optimism: "shit won't happen to me"

Trekism: "to boldly shit where no-one has shit before"

Shakespearean: "to shit or not to shit, that is the question"

Descartes: "I shit therefore I am"

Freud: "this is a phallic symbol"

Lawyers: "for enough money, I can get you out of shit"

Acupuncturist: "hold still or this will hurt like shit"

Dog: "I just shit in your shoes"

Cat: "dogs are shit"

Mouse: "oh shit! a cat!"

Politically Correct: "internally processed, nutritionally-drained biological output happens"

Einstein: "shit is relative"

Family Gathering: "relatives are shit"

Materialism: "whoever dies with the most shit, wins"

Vegetarianism: "if it happens to shit, don't eat it"

Fatalism: "oh shit, it's going to happen"

Environmentalism: "shit is biodegradable"

Americanism: "who gives a shit?"

Statistician: "shit is 84.7% likey to happen"

Hip-Hop: "motherfuck this shiznit, beeatch!"

Tantrism: "fuck this shit"

Cynicism: "we are all full of shit"

Surrealism: "fish happens"

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Guest Oakbuchanan
I saw a poster with a few of these jokes on it once. I love these sorts of jokes. There's something like this elsewhere in the humor section of the forums called "Shit happens Pagan Style." If you can find it, it's worth a laugh.


Cheers for that..very funny :)

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