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The Witch


Wyrd

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Young King Arthur was ambushed and imprisoned by the monarch of a

neighboring kingdom. The monarch could have killed him, but was moved by

Arthur's youthful happiness. So he offered him freedom, as long as he could

answer a very difficult question. Arthur would have a year to figure out

the answer; if, after a year, he still had no answer, he would be killed.

 

The question was: What do women really want?

 

Such a question would perplex even the most knowledgeable man, and, to young

Arthur, it seemed an impossible query.

 

Well, since it was better than death, he accepted the monarch's proposition

to have an answer by year's end. He returned to his kingdom and began to

poll everybody: the princess, the prostitutes, the priests, the wise men,

the court jester. In all, he spoke with everyone but no one could give him a

satisfactory answer. What most people did tell him was to consult the old

witch, as only she would know the answer. The price would be high, since the

witch was famous throughout the kingdom for the exorbitant prices she

charged.

 

The last day of the year arrived and Arthur had no alternative but to talk

to the witch. She agreed to answer his question, but he'd have to accept

her price first. The old witch wanted to marry Gawain, the most noble of the

Knights of the Round Table and Arthur's closest friend. Young Arthur was

horrified: she was hunchbacked and awfully hideous, had only one tooth,

smelled like

sewage water, often made obscene noises. He had never run across such a

repugnant creature. He refused to force his friend to marry her and have to

endure such a burden.

 

Gawain, upon learning of the proposal, spoke with Arthur. He told him that

no sacrifice was too big compared to Arthur's life and the preservation of

the Round Table.

 

Hence, their wedding was proclaimed, and the witch answered Arthur's

question:

What a woman really wants is to be able to be in charge of her own life.

 

 

Everyone instantly knew that the witch had uttered a great truth and that

Arthur's life would be spared. And so it went. The neighboring monarch

spared Arthur's life and granted him total freedom.

 

What a wedding Gawain and the witch had! Arthur was torn between relief and

anguish. Gawain was proper as always, gentle and courteous. The old witch

put her worst manners on display. She ate with her hands, belched and

farted, and made everyone uncomfortable.

 

The wedding night approached: Gawain, steeling himself for a horrific night,

entered the bedroom. What a sight awaited! The most beautiful woman he'd

ever seen lay before him! Gawain was astounded and asked what had happened.

 

The beauty replied that since he had been so kind to her (when she'd been a

witch), half the time she would be her horrible, deformed self, and the

other half, she would be her beautiful maiden self. Which would he want her

to be during the day and which during the night?

 

What a cruel question? Gawain began to think of his predicament:

 

During the day a beautiful woman to show off to his friend, but at night, in

the privacy of his home, an old spooky witch?

 

Or would he prefer having by day a hideous witch, but by night a beautiful

woman to enjoy many intimate moments?

 

What would you do?

 

What Gawain chose follows below, but don't read until you've made your own

choice.

 

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Noble Gawain replied that he would let her choose for herself.

 

Upon hearing this, she announced that she would be beautiful all the time,

because he had respected her and had let her be in charge of her own life.

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What is the moral of this story?

 

THE MORAL IS THAT IT DOESN'T MATTER IF YOUR WOMAN IS PRETTY OR UGLY,

UNDERNEATH IT ALL, SHE'S STILL A WITCH.

 

Wow, it was really good until that part...:frown:

 

No offense.

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Well, at least she got what she wanted, and so did he, since the men of that time(and this one) are just men, after all. I enjoyed the story. At least the man thought before he openend his mouth.

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  • 3 months later...

Hah! I got it right! :mdance: I kid thee not. I figured that'd be the answer, based on what she told Arthur earlier.

 

I kinda liked that story. The only weird part was, I kept envisioning Michael Palin as Gawain - damn Monty Python and the Holy Grail!

lol ! (I know, he played Galahad, but.. close enough. ;))

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