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Georgina

I really want to take a vow of silence here...

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I'm autistic & I can't believe how much people talk. 

Yap, yap, yap, yap, yap. 

 

Yap, yap, yap, Yap, yap, yap, Yap, yap, yap, Yap, yap, yap, yap and yap. 

 

I'm like sitting here going "Yo! STFU!" 

 

Most of it is incessant complaints. Me? I talk to exchange information. But people want to talk for NO REASON EXCEPT TO AVOID SILENCE!? 

What is wrong with silence? I love silence. I have been alone for a week before now, first exposure to a human went "Yap, yap, yap, yap...." like wtf? WTF? 

 

WHAT ARE THEY TALKING SO MUCH FOR? 

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No wonder they have an energetic drain, I mean Christ, I can't talk much. 

 

I always live alone whenever possible to avoid it. 

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Posted (edited)

I feel as though it totally depends on the context. There is definitely the factor of that inane yapping drains my energy. I've been so triggered by even very close people to me yapping endlessly in the past that I've been unable to control myself and been either mean to them, or have turned it back around on myself. Not good. Over the years I have structured my life to go to great lengths to avoid it. I've attempted vows of silence many times, but have never been able to do it yet. I don't live alone, so, it's pretty much impossible, and I have come to turn my perspective to value the small talk with my family for as long as I have it. They aren't yappers, though. I actually am the one who tries to "draw out" their conversation. I think it comes down to the CONTENT of the conversation and the level of awareness and heart-connection involved.

I have been doing some shadow work that is about to go very deep, and I have come to realize that part of why I hate when "yappers" yap because I feel so blocked and suppressed that I don't feel as though I can let my own voice operate. I have had to put such intense limitations on my expression because of my circumstances; I have a partile (same degree, extremely tight) natal Mercury-Saturn square, Scorpio Saturn in my 4th representing powerful and traumatic limitations placed by family, and Retrograde Leo Mercury in 1st representing my own self-expression being stalled. Deep down, I see that I have actually been jealous, as in threatened, by people who are "yappers" because they are free to speak, whereas I am not. I am not saying that this has anything to do with your experience; it is mine, though. How I would love it if I lived in an environment where I could very literally say anything I wanted. That is a huge part aspect of my dream.

Maybe we just have not found the physical scenes where we can exchange verbal energy and have it build us and the people we are speaking with/hearing from, as opposed to being drained by it. Though, and I write this as an edit, I just had a really great video conversation with someone who I just met online and found myself really enjoying what probably would have been seen by some others as "yapping" but for me it felt like finally being heard and feeling free to talk.

Anyone who has been following my writing on here knows that I can really "yap" in writing form too LOL

I think that what it comes down to is boundaries, and appropriate connections. I think that it is important for people to realize that to just bombard someone with talking when they are not ready to hear it can be very traumatizing. Context, timing, consent, content... all important. And we have to be responsible for our own boundaries too. There are some people out there that will go on and on and on...where you can't even get a word in edgewise... I hate that. I do my best to be patient but I'm not someone's free "listening ball" either!!! So, it's my responsibility to firmly say something, or make an action, that ceases the assault on my personal energy. If I have to be rude, or leave the scene, that is fine with me.

I hope you can find and keep your solace space Georgina! ❤️

Edited by phantasmagoria
added the first paragraph and more, doubling the length

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Wow, I too get very agitated when no useful information has been communicated from someone’s speech. I was wondering if I was the only one with this major pet peeve. Good to know other people have it too. 

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I think people like you and even me, are naturally quiet and thoughtful, and we attract talkative people who think we are actually listening to their speeches.  What we are actually thinking is "God what a shallow person you are, shut up!"  But we are to polite to say that.

There is a saying "Still waters run deep, shallow brooks babble."

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Thank god it's not just me then. 

 

I've been doing shadow work a lot as well. I was triggered by a scenario a while back involving another person which led to a lot of evolution in my life. 

The other reality is what we here understand, they don't. It makes it very hard for me to have conversations with people. My friend earlier immediately went on a tangent about the A. I taking over the world earlier just from me bringing up the earth's evolution... I'm sure you all already know about topics such as the 3 waves of volunteers, collective human consciousness, etc... Anyway, how on earth those topics led to "the A. I are taking over the world & everyone's just letting it happen!" is beyond me, but it annoys me how such a simple casual discussion gets turned into disaster, doom & gloom, yadeyadeya. This is coming from someone who's constantly glued to his xbox & can't live without a smart phone. 

 

Anyway... Yes, we are all aware of A. I & it's privacy impact on our lives, but honestly... That's our choice, we choose technology. If there's ever a day I need to throw the phone out of the window, then trust me I will. 

 

Moving on... I hope you have all had a lovely day & thank you all for offering me some sanity. I've got nobody here who can even begin to understand all the things I know from my own perspective. 😅 I end up talking to the dead more than the living these days, at least I get some sense from them. 

 

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Yes, my dad loves to find a way to turn any conversation into a ramble about government conspiracies and aliens and the Kabbal. I’ve asked a few times “okay, what am I supposed to do with this info? How is it useful to me?” Naturally he can’t answer. And I’m annoyed that he just wasted my attention with meaningless empty words. 

I grew up having to listen to a man who speaks without meaning incessantly often, to my own constant agitation. To make it even more agitating, he speaks as if he’s exceptionally wise and insightful.

So I believe I am well equipped to empathize with your plight here lol. Listening to people waste your time with worthless words is one of the most agitating peeves out there.

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