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Yes, my heart is broken...yes, my Spirit is broken. Several years of unhappiness and our grand year of 2020 has contributed.

 
I am tired...tired of trying to make a difference, tired of changing my perspective, tired of the idiotic choices I witness people make everyday, tired of hoping and not experiencing a small brake in my bleak life...and just physically, mentally, and spiritually tired.
 
Everyday is a new day...what do I have to look forward to?...war...the war between love and hate, the war between right and wrong, the war between choices to make minute by minute, and...let us not forget...the war of acceptance and nonacceptance.
 
Depressing...no...just my current reality. It is said everything changes, and it does. But I am in dire need of a new view and with all that has transcribed over the past year and a half...it's very difficult. 
 
Yes, I have had positive happenings in my life, but the reality is...there have been much more negative ones that I have no control over and have had to accept.
 
I have written many articles since 2012, which, not all have been published. Now, i find myself questioning some of my material. I really don't worry about it though because i don't feel as if I make much of a difference anyway.
 
Feel sorry for myself...not hardly...it's just simply...my give a damn is busted...and...I am tired of trying to figure it all out...tired of the lessons of life...more so...exhausted.
 
But, there will be no white flag from me. Because, above all, I know me.
 
I will survive ..even when I must "settle".

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Sorry you are going through a rough patch, I hear you...Live is not fun at the moment, I'm sick of everything too.  Being in close quarters is hard and sometimes I hate my Spouse, but once in a while he does something nice and I like him again.  Things will change, but not today .

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