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Calming fears


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#1 FairCirce

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Posted 23 January 2019 - 04:22 AM

I hadn’t seen a topic on this, so forgive me if I’ve overlooked one. I’ve definitely been feeling...something...the last few days, especially since I’ve really delved headfirst into this site, books on the topics I’m most interested in (herbalism, runes, tarot, etc). But the feeling isn’t a good feeling. It’s almost apprehensive or anxious, to the point where I thought I was going to get a migraine because it was stressing me out so much. It’s decinitely NOT a malicious feeling. More like my body going into overload to protect myself in this largely unknown area.

So, to get to my actual point, a ) were many of you scared/apprehensive when you first started? And b ) if so, how did you conquer it? I meditate every day for my mental health (separate from this, basically to keep me sane at work) so I am comfortable with meditation. Are there any other tips or advise you could offer? I don’t want to be held back by warning bells that aren’t telling me what they’re actually warning me of!

Edited by FairCirce, 23 January 2019 - 04:23 AM.

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#2 Onyx

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Posted 23 January 2019 - 09:11 PM

What is bothering you in particular? Loss of control? Fear of the unknown? I remembered feeling excited, exilarated, with a touch of the forbidden knowledge. I know I felt that I should not tell others what I was doing. That it was supposed to be a secret.
But all that did not stop me, and now it has been at least 10 years since. I'm still here, I have not been struck down by God. I have helped a ghost pass on, I was not afraid.
My power has increased, I am still learning new things every day. I think you just have to let go and accept that you are changing into a more spiritual being.

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#3 FairCirce

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Posted 23 January 2019 - 11:45 PM

Thanks for the reply Onyx, you touched on a lot of things I’m feeling. I go from being so full of excitement and eagerness, wanting to devour every book and website I have on my list. And then other times I’m full of anxiety and it’s like I’m frozen. Fear of the unknown and of losing control are probably part of it. I appreciate the response, I guess I just need to keep focusing on the positive feelings until I’m more comfortable in my own skin.

Edited by FairCirce, 23 January 2019 - 11:45 PM.

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#4 Khundekling

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Posted 24 January 2019 - 10:27 AM

Hey FairCirce, I'm gathering from a quick look at your profile that you are very new to witchcraft, apologies if I've assumed wrongly. The amount of information can be overwhelming. I thought I knew a fair bit before joining this site and soon realised that all my knowledge was like witchcraft 101 to most of the folks here.

 

If I may offer you some advice, just take your time. Don't rush into anything. A lot of people refer to it as walking a path and I think the keyword is walking. If you run through a wood you are bound to get whipped by branches and trip over things and before you know it you're lost. Enjoy your stroll, look and read up on things that interest you. Read what others have said about certain topics, but it is, your path. 

 

When I first started, I spent a lot of time working on visualisation, raising energy, things like that. If you are feeling scared, maybe you are trying to take on too much. Learn some basics and then, when you feel more confident, move on to slightly more advanced stuff. 


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#5 Oroboros

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Posted 24 January 2019 - 12:05 PM

@FairCirce,

First, I echo Kundelking... stop, take a breath, take your time. I’m all about voracious research, but no matter how much you read, the real knowing of a thing comes with time and experience and personal revelation. Some parts of this just cannot be rushed.

Second, while I know “focus on the positive” is popular, and often good advice, I’m going to suggest that “just focus on the positive feelings” may not be the way to go in this situation. You may have heard the phrase “witch, know thyself”—- it’s really important. Fear is a tool that can work for you or against you. Figure out what it is trying to tell you. Embrace it and stare at it. Sit with the feeling and determine its origins.

Only you can work out what the issue is. But a couple examples: if this is a hangup leftover from a Christian upbringing- now may be a good time to really delve in to that and work through it. On the other hand is it a legitimate warning of some type? More often, fears are some type of psychological hang up that is better dealt with than ignored. But it would be remiss to not acknowledge that witches also sense things-including danger- it’s in the job description:).

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#6 Onyx

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Posted 24 January 2019 - 06:33 PM

All great advice, and now might be a good time to do some protection spells. They will help you feel safer.
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#7 FairCirce

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Posted 25 January 2019 - 12:01 AM

Hey FairCirce, I'm gathering from a quick look at your profile that you are very new to witchcraft, apologies if I've assumed wrongly. The amount of information can be overwhelming. I thought I knew a fair bit before joining this site and soon realised that all my knowledge was like witchcraft 101 to most of the folks here.

 

If I may offer you some advice, just take your time. Don't rush into anything. A lot of people refer to it as walking a path and I think the keyword is walking. If you run through a wood you are bound to get whipped by branches and trip over things and before you know it you're lost. Enjoy your stroll, look and read up on things that interest you. Read what others have said about certain topics, but it is, your path. 

 

When I first started, I spent a lot of time working on visualisation, raising energy, things like that. If you are feeling scared, maybe you are trying to take on too much. Learn some basics and then, when you feel more confident, move on to slightly more advanced stuff. 

 

----

 

You would be correct on both counts - there's just so much out there and I'm realizing I know basically nothing! I really like your comparison and it makes a lot of sense. I don't want to be mediocre at a whole lot of things when I can focus on the few things that really speak to me and become good at them. Thank you for the advice, it was very helpful :)

 

@FairCirce,

First, I echo Kundelking... stop, take a breath, take your time. I’m all about voracious research, but no matter how much you read, the real knowing of a thing comes with time and experience and personal revelation. Some parts of this just cannot be rushed.

Second, while I know “focus on the positive” is popular, and often good advice, I’m going to suggest that “just focus on the positive feelings” may not be the way to go in this situation. You may have heard the phrase “witch, know thyself”—- it’s really important. Fear is a tool that can work for you or against you. Figure out what it is trying to tell you. Embrace it and stare at it. Sit with the feeling and determine its origins.

Only you can work out what the issue is. But a couple examples: if this is a hangup leftover from a Christian upbringing- now may be a good time to really delve in to that and work through it. On the other hand is it a legitimate warning of some type? More often, fears are some type of psychological hang up that is better dealt with than ignored. But it would be remiss to not acknowledge that witches also sense things-including danger- it’s in the job description:).

 

-----

 

Yes, I'm definitely coming to realize that - there's only so much I can soak up before it all starts to blur together. I've been meditating on the feeling most of this evening and I think I've pinpointed what the problem is: I'm afraid I'm going to hurt someone I care about. Whether accidentally or in a reciprocal way. I have very few people (and animals) I can say I truly and honestly love/care about that I don't want anything to happen to them. I also agree it could be a leftover from my Christian upbringing. I might still be scared of making Baby Jesus cry. 

 

I do strongly believe in my instincts, which is why I want to figure out the cause so I can work it out...but I haven't ruled out the fact that it could be more than just my anxiety playing tricks on me. Thank you for the advice, I really appreciate it :)

 

All great advice, and now might be a good time to do some protection spells. They will help you feel safer.

 

-----

 

I haven't done any spells yet, but I'm starting to think looking into them sooner rather than later (at least a protection spell) is probably a good idea.  

 

EDIT: Just wanted to add that I did a tarot reading tonight (basic past/present/future spread) and I feel so much more at ease. Basically, it told me that I am holding on to things/people/etc. (BABY JESUS *shakes fist*) far more than I should for my own well-being and peace of mind. I can't control everything, and I shouldn't feel bad about that. I need to believe and trust in myself right now, especially my instincts, and things will be okay. But whew...I feel a lot more in control of myself right now. I know I keep seeing it repeated all over the forum that practicing will teach more than any amount of studying (I need to learn to listen to these things). I wish I had done this at the start and maybe saved myself a week of anxiety. I have a strong connection to this deck and it has never let me down, so I think I can breathe a bit easier tonight. Just wanted to add an update and thank you all again, I'm loving this place so far. 


Edited by FairCirce, 25 January 2019 - 04:11 AM.

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#8 Khundekling

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Posted 25 January 2019 - 11:22 AM

 

I'm afraid I'm going to hurt someone I care about. Whether accidentally or in a reciprocal way. I have very few people (and animals) I can say I truly and honestly love/care about that I don't want anything to happen to them.

 

Sorry I'm not sure what you mean by this. Are you talking about if your family/friends find out about your beliefs? Or are you talking about curses/hexes?

 

If it's the latter, I've never heard of someone accidentally cursing someone, unless they really didn't do their homework. A spell, curse etc. isn't something that just happens, it takes planning, focus, intent. And you don't have to use curses/hexes if you don't want to. So there really isn't anything to be scared of. 

 

You say you haven't tried out any spells yet. I would suggest something really simple. Some candle magic perhaps or making a charm to carry around. Simple money spells are quite popular.

 

Have you looked into casting circles or laying the compass yet?


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#9 FairCirce

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Posted 25 January 2019 - 02:19 PM

Sorry I'm not sure what you mean by this. Are you talking about if your family/friends find out about your beliefs? Or are you talking about curses/hexes?

 

If it's the latter, I've never heard of someone accidentally cursing someone, unless they really didn't do their homework. A spell, curse etc. isn't something that just happens, it takes planning, focus, intent. And you don't have to use curses/hexes if you don't want to. So there really isn't anything to be scared of. 

 

You say you haven't tried out any spells yet. I would suggest something really simple. Some candle magic perhaps or making a charm to carry around. Simple money spells are quite popular.

 

Have you looked into casting circles or laying the compass yet?

 

I was talking more along the lines of curses/hexes, but not in the sense of accidentally cursing them. From what I understand (and correct me if I'm wrong) when casting those kinds of spells there's usually some sort of "price" that needs to be paid for its success. I've heard of pets dying, people getting sick, etc. But I know this is a personal thing and I might have just heard/read the worst case scenarios. Your advice still stands - I can just not use them until I feel more comfortable (if I have to at all). 

 

I was actually thinking about a charm last night. I just ordered a small "Circe" pendant the other night and it should be arriving this weekend. Maybe that would be a good place to start. I haven't looked in detail on casting circles or laying the compass yet, although I have webpages/forum posts bookmarked for them both. I think I'm in for a lot of reading this weekend :) 


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#10 Onyx

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Posted 25 January 2019 - 10:16 PM

Yes, there is endless reading. Plus, you have to decide what is good and rings true for you. Time enough later to do a curse. That takes a lot of energy.
It is a matter of your belief system and your own values wether or not there is a price to pay for a curse laid. What if the curse is the payment for a wrong done against you?

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#11 Oroboros

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Posted 26 January 2019 - 02:57 AM

FairCirce, you may find this thread of interest. It is covered elsewhere I am sure, but here you can get an idea of Trad Witch’s views (which vary) on the concept of consequences to spell work. http://www.tradition...page-2?hl=karma
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#12 FairCirce

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Posted 27 January 2019 - 03:19 AM

Yes, there is endless reading. Plus, you have to decide what is good and rings true for you. Time enough later to do a curse. That takes a lot of energy.
It is a matter of your belief system and your own values wether or not there is a price to pay for a curse laid. What if the curse is the payment for a wrong done against you?

-------

That's such a good point, Onyx, I hadn't thought of it that way. I feel like that would be the primary reason I would be considering one to begin with, and it definitely adds a different perspective. 

 

 

FairCirce, you may find this thread of interest. It is covered elsewhere I am sure, but here you can get an idea of Trad Witch’s views (which vary) on the concept of consequences to spell work. http://www.tradition...page-2?hl=karma

---

Thank you Oroboros, that was a very interesting read. The idea of karma hadn't even played into my original thinking on this topic, although it's something that I've always had ingrained in me (maybe why I'm so stuck on the "do something 'bad' and something bad will happen in return" idea??) 


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#13 BlackbirdSong

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Posted 13 April 2019 - 06:59 PM

Reading your fears about hurting people, it partly reminded me of this threefold law business lots of people are told about when they start in the Craft. Karma is so complex, and there are really good resources out there, but (from what I know) it is worth remembering it isn’t usually as simple as I do this bad thing and this person gets hurt. That’s not to say people acting ignorantly don’t ever pay a price, but it’s much more complicated than the threefold law where whatever act you do returns to you in part threefold. That law, which was created by modern witches, supports this ‘sin and be punished’ idea and, in my eyes, really supports the simplistic ideas people have about karma. I don’t personally follow karmic teachings (mainly because I tend to stick to my ancestral history otherwise I am so interested in everything I struggle to choose and this gives me better focus/structure and ability to deeper learnings currently) but I do respect them. I have had friends who practiced Hinduism and Buddhism, and for a start, their concepts of karma are not this simple ‘I kill your mother and my mother will die’ idea (which I feel links more to ‘an eye for an eye’) but hugely caught up in the idea of rebirth and reincarnation. It is also to do with what you thought and intended, if you were thinking ‘your mother is coming towards my child with a knife and I bashed her on the head’ that’s very different to premeditated murder for a mundane reason. Sorry, I’m not great at explaining because I am not very well versed in it all, but it struck me this fear you have stems maybe more from the impressions people give of karma and the threefold law than any full understanding.

Something I might try as a newer practitioner would be to ask whoever you work with (spirits etc.) to aid you in understanding more through dream. You might get some frightening dreams that can only come to be fully understood later, or you might get some gentle dreams, but it might help. Sometimes allowing a mind to work through something in dream with the aid of a spirit, be it plant, human or something else, can really open new avenues of understanding. I also think onyx made a good point to think on about the curse being a price paid for wrong against you. You could equally say healing someone terrible could damage the rest of the world (and I think those viewpoints are much more reminiscent of actual teachings on karma).

Finally, know that if you are someone concerned at the wrong a curse might bring and feel unready to curse, then the time is not right and you are simply being sensible about not cursing someone. They may come a time when someone does something that endangers you or someone you care for and you are practised and feel ready, but until then don’t worry. Do the practise in smaller spells that don’t worry you as much, focus on learning what interests you. I am sure you’ll come to learn of spells that might be more serious, but I think in witchcraft there is always a question of your action having consequence as there is in life. Your own standpoint is crucial to learn because from there all decisions are made, and - for me - it evolved a lot. If you get a job and another person doesn’t there is the consequence of someone else having lost out, whether by magick or not. In some ways there are so very many thread to this that we cannot always know if that is for better or worse and that is why many use caveats in magic and word the spell as carefully as possible while checking the intent. It’s not always possible to do the first two when in a moment that calls for fast action, so your own intent is useful to be fully aware of.

Yikes, sorry! Clearly, not posting for a while has given me even more of a tendency to be long winded!

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#14 Michele

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Posted 18 April 2019 - 05:42 PM

Fear is healthy - it keeps us from doing stupid things, lol. If something is making you feel fear, then slow down, delve deeper but without acting upon it. Find out more info. Also, a very wise man once explained to me that the supernatural has a feeling about it that is alien to us - we're not used to that particular feeling. As part of our survival instincts, we feel fear or aprehension (or at least are on our guard) whenever we encounter something new and unknown - and that's a healthy reaction! So accept the feeling as you moving forward and having healthy, normal, reactions to the changes in energy... and remember to go slowly and make sure everything is safe before you take the next step, and the next...

 


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#15 fallenklown

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Posted 18 April 2019 - 08:40 PM

Hi. I just wanted to take a second and ask how you are doing with this is it still bothering you?


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#16 FairCirce

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Posted 23 June 2019 - 01:00 AM

Reading your fears about hurting people, it partly reminded me of this threefold law business lots of people are told about when they start in the Craft. Karma is so complex, and there are really good resources out there, but (from what I know) it is worth remembering it isn’t usually as simple as I do this bad thing and this person gets hurt. That’s not to say people acting ignorantly don’t ever pay a price, but it’s much more complicated than the threefold law where whatever act you do returns to you in part threefold. That law, which was created by modern witches, supports this ‘sin and be punished’ idea and, in my eyes, really supports the simplistic ideas people have about karma. I don’t personally follow karmic teachings (mainly because I tend to stick to my ancestral history otherwise I am so interested in everything I struggle to choose and this gives me better focus/structure and ability to deeper learnings currently) but I do respect them. I have had friends who practiced Hinduism and Buddhism, and for a start, their concepts of karma are not this simple ‘I kill your mother and my mother will die’ idea (which I feel links more to ‘an eye for an eye’) but hugely caught up in the idea of rebirth and reincarnation. It is also to do with what you thought and intended, if you were thinking ‘your mother is coming towards my child with a knife and I bashed her on the head’ that’s very different to premeditated murder for a mundane reason. Sorry, I’m not great at explaining because I am not very well versed in it all, but it struck me this fear you have stems maybe more from the impressions people give of karma and the threefold law than any full understanding.

Something I might try as a newer practitioner would be to ask whoever you work with (spirits etc.) to aid you in understanding more through dream. You might get some frightening dreams that can only come to be fully understood later, or you might get some gentle dreams, but it might help. Sometimes allowing a mind to work through something in dream with the aid of a spirit, be it plant, human or something else, can really open new avenues of understanding. I also think onyx made a good point to think on about the curse being a price paid for wrong against you. You could equally say healing someone terrible could damage the rest of the world (and I think those viewpoints are much more reminiscent of actual teachings on karma).
 

---------

This is SO true, and something I've really come to terms with over the last few months. Everything revolved around this "eye for an eye" concept of karma but I've since realized it's so, so much more than that. I also think I've shed the last bits of my old Catholicism holding my back, and that's gotten rid of a lot of the paranoia  :lol:  thank you, everything you said was very helpful!

 

Fear is healthy - it keeps us from doing stupid things, lol. If something is making you feel fear, then slow down, delve deeper but without acting upon it. Find out more info. Also, a very wise man once explained to me that the supernatural has a feeling about it that is alien to us - we're not used to that particular feeling. As part of our survival instincts, we feel fear or aprehension (or at least are on our guard) whenever we encounter something new and unknown - and that's a healthy reaction! So accept the feeling as you moving forward and having healthy, normal, reactions to the changes in energy... and remember to go slowly and make sure everything is safe before you take the next step, and the next...

 

-------

I totally agree!! I definitely think it was a fear of the unknown or "piercing the veil" for the first time or whatever you want to call it. It was just so different and I think it overwhelmed me and set my mind going in a hundred different directions at once. Thankfully, I did slow down and really take my time trying to identify the feelings...slow is definitely the way to go :)

 

Hi. I just wanted to take a second and ask how you are doing with this is it still bothering you?

-------

Thank you for checking in! :) I am feeling a hundred times better than I was when I first posted this. Not only do I feel at ease, everything I do now feels right and it's such a fantastic feeling. I haven't done anything beyond basic spells so far, getting comfortable with casting and trying to contact and work with my spirits. It was definitely a gradual process, and I spent a lot of time meditating and journaling as I was learning basic spells. Not every spell has worked, but at least I'm not scared to even try anymore  ;)


Edited by FairCirce, 23 June 2019 - 01:01 AM.

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#17 Jivecat

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Posted 09 August 2019 - 12:51 AM

Hi Circe!

 

It is so serendipitous that I found your thread today.

I write this now, trying to calm my nerves, after my anxiety barged in and interrupted a money spell I was doing.

 

I feel exactly as you described in your first post, and am also worried about the "price" of magick - it's what sent a really good, set mood, into a panicked spiral. I decided to quit the spell, blow out the candles (I read once that doing so "extinguishes" the working) and dropped everything. 

 

The comments on this thread have been profoundly helpful, and I plan to spend time with each suggestion given.

What I find to be odd is, I've done workings before, but the anxiety I experienced then was different. I was raised Catholic as well (traditional latin mass, old school style), and while that did (and honestly, still does kinda) give me problems, what I'm experiencing now is almost a feeling of dread, AND concern with old religious mindsets, which includes "price" or "cost".

 

My question for you is, what spells have you been doing thusfar that have been helping you? Do you write the spells yourself, or did you find em in a book? 

Feeling uneasy like this is really uncomfortable, but I feel hopeful because I found this thread, and you seem to be doing really well :)


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#18 FairCirce

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Posted 14 September 2019 - 05:00 AM

Hi Circe!

It is so serendipitous that I found your thread today.
I write this now, trying to calm my nerves, after my anxiety barged in and interrupted a money spell I was doing.

I feel exactly as you described in your first post, and am also worried about the "price" of magick - it's what sent a really good, set mood, into a panicked spiral. I decided to quit the spell, blow out the candles (I read once that doing so "extinguishes" the working) and dropped everything.

The comments on this thread have been profoundly helpful, and I plan to spend time with each suggestion given.
What I find to be odd is, I've done workings before, but the anxiety I experienced then was different. I was raised Catholic as well (traditional latin mass, old school style), and while that did (and honestly, still does kinda) give me problems, what I'm experiencing now is almost a feeling of dread, AND concern with old religious mindsets, which includes "price" or "cost".

My question for you is, what spells have you been doing thusfar that have been helping you? Do you write the spells yourself, or did you find em in a book?
Feeling uneasy like this is really uncomfortable, but I feel hopeful because I found this thread, and you seem to be doing really well :)


Hi Jivecat!

You definitely sound a lot like me, especially that feeling of dread whenever I even thought about performing a spell. Hopefully my advice will help a little (and apologies for responding so late!)

1. I spent a LOT of time meditating. It not only allowed me to become more comfortable in my own head, I was also able to practice grounding rituals, which I find to be very important in the craft

2. Every spell I’ve done I’ve written myself. Some of the rituals I’ve performed have been based on things written/suggested by others (mostly during a solstice/equinox or a moon ritual) but I adapted them into something my own

3. I read up on defensive magic, mostly to calm my own mind. Not everything I read felt right to me, so I went with my gut and only used the things that called to me. You can find a ton of helpful info on this site, along with book recommendations.

4. I can honestly say that I have been practicing regularly for over a year now and I have not once had any price or balance to pay for my spells, or had any negative ramifications come from them directly. I’m definitely precautious, but it’s nothing like I had originally expected.

5. Most of my spells have been little things! I do a protection spell (using a labradorite ring as a talisman) every morning before I leave the house. On full (and often, new) moons I perform a basic moon ritual, basically offering praise and thanks, creating moon water, etc. I’m also hoping to connect with my familiar soon, so I’ve been working on that :) Those are just a few examples, but I’ve had positive experiences with them all.

I’d be happy to talk through private message if you have any more questions!

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#19 Onyx

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Posted 15 September 2019 - 06:33 PM

Practice does make perfect, I have done lots of spells and have not had any blow back from them. Even the Great Banishment of 2018 had perfect results.
If you are concerned you can add " For the good of all and harm to none" But then you are going into Wiccan territory.

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#20 Khundekling

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Posted Yesterday, 02:10 PM

If you are concerned you can add " For the good of all and harm to none" But then you are going into Wiccan territory.

 

Quite  ;)


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