Posted 13 April 2019 - 06:59 PM
Reading your fears about hurting people, it partly reminded me of this threefold law business lots of people are told about when they start in the Craft. Karma is so complex, and there are really good resources out there, but (from what I know) it is worth remembering it isn’t usually as simple as I do this bad thing and this person gets hurt. That’s not to say people acting ignorantly don’t ever pay a price, but it’s much more complicated than the threefold law where whatever act you do returns to you in part threefold. That law, which was created by modern witches, supports this ‘sin and be punished’ idea and, in my eyes, really supports the simplistic ideas people have about karma. I don’t personally follow karmic teachings (mainly because I tend to stick to my ancestral history otherwise I am so interested in everything I struggle to choose and this gives me better focus/structure and ability to deeper learnings currently) but I do respect them. I have had friends who practiced Hinduism and Buddhism, and for a start, their concepts of karma are not this simple ‘I kill your mother and my mother will die’ idea (which I feel links more to ‘an eye for an eye’) but hugely caught up in the idea of rebirth and reincarnation. It is also to do with what you thought and intended, if you were thinking ‘your mother is coming towards my child with a knife and I bashed her on the head’ that’s very different to premeditated murder for a mundane reason. Sorry, I’m not great at explaining because I am not very well versed in it all, but it struck me this fear you have stems maybe more from the impressions people give of karma and the threefold law than any full understanding.
Something I might try as a newer practitioner would be to ask whoever you work with (spirits etc.) to aid you in understanding more through dream. You might get some frightening dreams that can only come to be fully understood later, or you might get some gentle dreams, but it might help. Sometimes allowing a mind to work through something in dream with the aid of a spirit, be it plant, human or something else, can really open new avenues of understanding. I also think onyx made a good point to think on about the curse being a price paid for wrong against you. You could equally say healing someone terrible could damage the rest of the world (and I think those viewpoints are much more reminiscent of actual teachings on karma).
Finally, know that if you are someone concerned at the wrong a curse might bring and feel unready to curse, then the time is not right and you are simply being sensible about not cursing someone. They may come a time when someone does something that endangers you or someone you care for and you are practised and feel ready, but until then don’t worry. Do the practise in smaller spells that don’t worry you as much, focus on learning what interests you. I am sure you’ll come to learn of spells that might be more serious, but I think in witchcraft there is always a question of your action having consequence as there is in life. Your own standpoint is crucial to learn because from there all decisions are made, and - for me - it evolved a lot. If you get a job and another person doesn’t there is the consequence of someone else having lost out, whether by magick or not. In some ways there are so very many thread to this that we cannot always know if that is for better or worse and that is why many use caveats in magic and word the spell as carefully as possible while checking the intent. It’s not always possible to do the first two when in a moment that calls for fast action, so your own intent is useful to be fully aware of.
Yikes, sorry! Clearly, not posting for a while has given me even more of a tendency to be long winded!