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Had some free time, stole some penises, put them in a nest...


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#1 Oroboros

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Posted 03 December 2016 - 05:03 AM

I have no idea how I have went 39 years and missed this little gem, apparently from the Malleus Maleficarum; "Hammer of the Witches".

 

I was listening to a witchy podcast and the host said something about witches being accused of stealing penises and hiding them in a tree in a nest.  Being me, I found this funny.  So, I went home and consulted the great god google.  This is what I found, mostly widely known stuff (especially the broomstick bit), but well, I thought you might enjoy the presentation:

 

http://bust.com/sex/...ke-penises.html


Edited by Oroboros, 03 December 2016 - 05:17 AM.

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...From ev’ry depth of good and ill , The mystery which binds me still...— Poe

#2 Solanaceae

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Posted 03 December 2016 - 01:32 PM

Lol that article!

 

Those folks obviously another example (relating back to another recent discussion)  of men who were afraid of women with power over them. In this case sexual power, the power to emasculate and control their sex.


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Some are born to sweet delight,

Some are born to endless night.

 

(Fragments from "Auguries of Innocence") William Blake


#3 Oroboros

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Posted 03 December 2016 - 07:26 PM

New ideas for the family Christmas tree... :)
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...From ev’ry depth of good and ill , The mystery which binds me still...— Poe

#4 Duchess

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Posted 03 December 2016 - 08:52 PM

I love the idea of penis pets, but I'm afraid the dogs would not approve; big dogs with high prey drives. Now I wonder what my conservative landlord would think about me decorating one of the trees outside...


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#5 Oroboros

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Posted 03 December 2016 - 09:03 PM

I have to believe this all started with someone having sex with someone later accused of witchcraft and trying like hell to wiggle out of their pickle. (Yep, see what I did there)

But guys, wouldn't you notice and protest a witch stealing your junk? Like HOW was this done? It staggers the imagination. Or was it just, boom, you wake up one day with no penis and notice Sarah Goode has a big shit eating grin on her face, and therefore the explanation is obvious?

Anyway honestly what tickled me the most for some reason was the banner "Those greedy witches stole ALL the dicks!".

I noticed later if you follow the various links in the article there is yet more entertaining and enlightening info. In case the dick tree just didn't satisfy.

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...From ev’ry depth of good and ill , The mystery which binds me still...— Poe

#6 citoyenne

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Posted 07 December 2016 - 05:36 PM

OHHH so this is what I've not been doing right all this time. Had I only known, in my younger years... thank you for showing me the errors in my ways.

 

I second the interesting new ideas for the family Christmas tree. I think it may actually have to happen, cute little colourful embroidered dick ornaments.

I think that the fresco of the gilded dick tree needs to be in my house, it is actually quite beautiful. I wonder if it's possible to get a nice high quality print of it somewhere online.


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#7 Lilu

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Posted 07 December 2016 - 06:56 PM

Well.....naked mole rats look like penises. Just saying haha. Pehaps he saw one of those wandering about and jumped to conclusions. Fabulous read.
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#8 IslandBruja

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Posted 11 December 2016 - 04:08 AM

New ideas for the family Christmas tree... :)

Girl, I don't think your mother-in-law would approve.

I love the idea of penis pets, but I'm afraid the dogs would not approve; big dogs with high prey drives.

That's what Bully Sticks are for! :laugh:
(I'm just imagining the hilarious antics cats would get up to if they had to share the home with penis pets)


And for anyone like Citoyenne who desires some lovely penii decor of their own (personally - and all practicality aside - as an artist I've never found the appendage aesthetically pleasing), check out this variety of items adorned with tasteful penii flora ;)
https://www.lookhuma...48-floral-penis

Edited by IslandBruja, 11 December 2016 - 04:09 AM.

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#9 Oroboros

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Posted 11 December 2016 - 05:00 AM

Girl, I don't think your mother-in-law would approve.

Good point.  Hindu's don't believe in eating pork or beef.


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...From ev’ry depth of good and ill , The mystery which binds me still...— Poe

#10 IslandBruja

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Posted 11 December 2016 - 05:32 AM

Good point.  Hindu's don't believe in eating pork or beef.


:rofl:

For that matter, I'm guessing your step-kids' mom would have an aneurysm if she saw the tree as well :laugh:

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#11 Oroboros

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Posted 11 December 2016 - 05:58 AM

THAT actually makes it worth considering.


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...From ev’ry depth of good and ill , The mystery which binds me still...— Poe

#12 citoyenne

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Posted 12 December 2016 - 01:54 AM

And for anyone like Citoyenne who desires some lovely penii decor of their own (personally - and all practicality aside - as an artist I've never found the appendage aesthetically pleasing), check out this variety of items adorned with tasteful penii flora ;)
https://www.lookhuma...48-floral-penis

 

Oh aesthetics have nothing to do with how pleasing they are. ;)

But that floral print is actually also deceptively beautiful. I once saw an artist who did massive amazingly realistic charcoal drawings of scrotum, like a few feet by a few feet hello balls! I wished I had bought a print but I was still in school and broke. I guess I'm a simple woman, of plain desires....


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#13 IslandBruja

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Posted 12 December 2016 - 07:48 AM

Oh aesthetics have nothing to do with how pleasing they are. ;)

That's why I said "all practicalities aside" :laugh:

I once saw an artist who did massive amazingly realistic charcoal drawings of scrotum, like a few feet by a few feet hello balls! I wished I had bought a print but I was still in school and broke. I guess I'm a simple woman, of plain desires....

Okay, fair warning all ye who enter here: I immediately thought of this fashion creation that is (in my opinion, disgustingly) realistic in its detail... but sounds like Citoyenne, at the very least, will enjoy this wearable work of art/design? http://www.eliteread...-for-sale-soon/

(and I just HAVE to ask Citoyenne - are you saying scrotums actually TURN YOU ON?!?!? Truly mind-blowing to me :rofl: )

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#14 Oroboros

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Posted 12 December 2016 - 11:46 AM

WTF IB? That literally made nauseated!:) Part of me wants to know how you knew of this fashion statement....

I'm sorry mods, I never new my beautiful tree article could go to such a dark and sweaty place.

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...From ev’ry depth of good and ill , The mystery which binds me still...— Poe

#15 Solanaceae

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Posted 12 December 2016 - 12:40 PM

:roflhard:  :rofl:  :roflhard:  :rofl:  :roflhard:  :rofl:

 

And why? 

 

And omg, it has hair?

 

O and IB, you guys are too much lol!


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Some are born to sweet delight,

Some are born to endless night.

 

(Fragments from "Auguries of Innocence") William Blake


#16 IslandBruja

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Posted 12 December 2016 - 01:10 PM

WTF IB? That literally made nauseated!:) Part of me wants to know how you knew of this fashion statement....
I'm sorry mods, I never new my beautiful tree article could go to such a dark and sweaty place.

Didn't I give the caveat "fair warning all ye who enter here"? :blink:
(perhaps that reference to the gates of hell didn't register in the wee hours for you, O :laugh: )

I do apologise for the nausea... but I DID say it was disgustingly realistic! (it makes me nauseated too, fyi, even having to Google it to find it again. And to think how many people WANTED that that thing).

Anyway, I don't remember how I originally saw that - no wait, I think it was because I ran an art Indiegogo campaign around the same time and it came up as a popular crowdfunder :sickwitch: (and it's not the kind of thing you forget - so again, apologies if it's seared into your brain, O... Perhaps I'll go back and highlight/bold the caveat ;) )

Edited by IslandBruja, 12 December 2016 - 02:14 PM.

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#17 Turncoat

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Posted 12 December 2016 - 01:50 PM

In case the dick tree just didn't satisfy.

Great googly moogly, I can't stop laughing. One roommate just finished a semester's work on witch trials and misogyny. Can't wait to make her day with this!

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#18 citoyenne

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Posted 12 December 2016 - 06:34 PM

That's why I said "all practicalities aside" :lol:

Okay, fair warning all ye who enter here: I immediately thought of this fashion creation that is (in my opinion, disgustingly) realistic in its detail... but sounds like Citoyenne, at the very least, will enjoy this wearable work of art/design? http://www.eliteread...-for-sale-soon/

(and I just HAVE to ask Citoyenne - are you saying scrotums actually TURN YOU ON?!?!? Truly mind-blowing to me :rofl: )

 

 

OMG that's crazy, a perfect sack for carrying all your personal effects! I LOL'd and so did mr.citoyenne.

 

On their own they are more of a curiosity, I don't have any of my own, the texture, they way they change. It is foreign. On the attractiveness front... they come as a package :grin_witch: they're involved in good times.


Edited by citoyenne, 12 December 2016 - 06:36 PM.

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#19 Anubha

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Posted 13 December 2016 - 07:26 PM

OMG!!! This is the funniest thing I've read/seen in a long time! I have to quit perusing the forum on my phone. I'm missing all the good stuff!

 

Lol that article!

 

Those folks obviously another example (relating back to another recent discussion)  of men who were afraid of women with power over them. In this case sexual power, the power to emasculate and control their sex.

 

Isn't it just?


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#20 Autumn Moon

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Posted 13 December 2016 - 09:39 PM

Y'all actually search for this stuff  :P

 

Afraid of women with power....NOT

 

Sexual power...bring it on!

 

Power to emasculate and control their sex....their sex what?

 

Y'all need to get some, lol.

 

I want a labia back pack (not, lol), but all the feminazi's would feak out...just sayin  :cauldron:


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