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Trouble reading tarot for others


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#1 Bluemoon

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Posted 30 June 2016 - 10:43 PM

Hello,

I am relatively new to tarot. I've had a deck for a while and I am very familiar with the meanings of the cards but I didn't feel confident enough to do actual readings. Most of my tarot experience has been in reading for myself. I feel that I am getting pretty good at reading for myself. I don't sugar coat what I see with myself and I take the advice I receive seriously. However, I have been feeling very doubtful about my ability to read for others. I have tried to do readings for some family and friends, but I usually end up completely missing the mark. I do have one friend who I give relatively accurate readings for, oddly enough. This sounds like a convenient excuse but... I wonder if the people I've been reading for are just expecting the tarot not to work and are therefor making it not work.

So the question is: How can I improve my ability to read for others? That is really what I want to use tarot for... to help other people! I don't want to be that flashy, dramatic reader who draws big, accurate insights just because they can (while ignoring the fact that the querent already knows it). I want to provide meaningful spiritual/emotional/other counsel. I really appreciate any advice you might have for me!

Thank you,
BlueMoon

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#2 Belle

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Posted 30 June 2016 - 11:44 PM

I don't read cards so I can't comment on that.

 

As for guidance, I get excellent guidance for myself, but for other people it is very difficult. I can do a little bit but only if it is about a specific topic. 

 

That sounds like a similar experience but if you continue to practice then you will get better and the messages will become more accurate for others. 


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#3 Bluemoon

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Posted 30 June 2016 - 11:55 PM

I don't read cards so I can't comment on that.

As for guidance, I get excellent guidance for myself, but for other people it is very difficult. I can do a little bit but only if it is about a specific topic.

That sounds like a similar experience but if you continue to practice then you will get better and the messages will become more accurate for others.


Thank you for the response Belle! I really do need more practice but it is a little discouraging. I'm usually a spellcraft kind of person but tarot really called to me so I'm determined to learn and practice. I'm a little confused about your post. Do you read the cards for yourself about certain topics, but not for other people?

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#4 Kalinia

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Posted 01 July 2016 - 03:57 AM

Honestly what it comes down to is practice and evolving in your craft of reading. I think the more you do it the more comfortable you will become and the more natural it will happen and feel.
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#5 Christine

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Posted 01 July 2016 - 07:19 AM

Holy Crow that's backasswards of me, for I always have had more difficulty reading for my ownself with my personal deck that will order itself as I demand. Always since I began has it been simpler to read for folk about whom I could not give one damn. For myself, I've had to learn to dissociate my personal circumstance from the deck and pretend that I'm reading for a random stranger in order to suss out anything more significant than my own wishful thinking. Still today it is a challenge. Blue moon, if you have enough discipline to read accurately for your own person then it should be relatively easy to apply your sight to another. I suspect stage fright. Do some readings in secret and record the results, telling nobody while you track your results and build confidence in your own insight.  Have you perhaps skipped over that bit? If you care deeply about the fate of those about you, you might have offered your power before consolidating confidence in your skill. Goodness knows I did. Righteously fucked up some visions, I'll tell you what. Keep it secret and tell them you can't do anything for a year or so, maybe?


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#6 Bluemoon

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Posted 01 July 2016 - 12:54 PM

(snips)
...I suspect stage fright. Do some readings in secret and record the results, telling nobody while you track your results and build confidence in your own insight. Have you perhaps skipped over that bit?... Keep it secret and tell them you can't do anything for a year or so, maybe?


I think this is probably true to some degree. I also think I lose my intuition when reading for others and rely on analyzing the cards from an intellectual standpoint, probably because I really want it to be accurate and helpful! Also, I have been reading for men a lot and I honestly understand resonate more with women. The one person I read well for is a woman. It's pretty odd because I am a man... I will think about waiting a while for sure before doing readings for others (that they know of >:]). I am really being pulled to continue them though! I might need to work on accessing my intuition in those situations.

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#7 Belle

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Posted 03 July 2016 - 02:45 PM

@Bluemoon. I don't read cards. I do astrology and that is accurate for anybody.

 

What I am talking about is 'psychic news' I get my own messages, and for others in conversation. I'll get an idea about what subject to bring up or I will pry about something that I normally would leave alone but I need to dig a little deeper for information so I know how to help. Regular people do that too, use their intuition to shed light on a problem. That is why talking thiings out is helpful. I search people out when I need more help, because they know things that I don't and they will get my messages. That is one of my techniques. 

 

I always get my answers and clues for me, but for other people, not so much. Not in any formal way. I get communication and clues from all sources. The whole world is an oracle. 


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#8 Bluemoon

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Posted 03 July 2016 - 02:57 PM

Oh okay. Thank you for the clarification! That is definitely something for me to think about.
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#9 Bluemoon

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Posted 03 July 2016 - 09:33 PM

I know this is diverging from the thread a bit but... I've been considering purchasing a lenormand deck. The people I'm reading for don't respond well to the psychological aspects and depth of the tarot. I'm thinking a lenormand would be much more straight forward but I've never used them. Any thoughts or advice on this?
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#10 Belle

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Posted 03 July 2016 - 11:37 PM

I love Lenormand for it's simplicity.

 

As I said, I am not a card reader but I do consult a card a day. I pull one Lenormand. I understand the symbolism of a simple picture so much better. If I did use cards I would use Lenormand because it makes sense to me intuitively.

 

This might sound strange, but I never did like the tarot symbology. I tried reading regular playing cards for a while and that appeals to me more then Tarot.

 

I have blank cards to make my own deck with symbols that are meaningful to me. I never did it but I always had that idea, but really the Lenormand symbols work.


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#11 Aria

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Posted 04 July 2016 - 01:06 PM

Hello,

I am relatively new to tarot. I've had a deck for a while and I am very familiar with the meanings of the cards but I didn't feel confident enough to do actual readings. Most of my tarot experience has been in reading for myself. I feel that I am getting pretty good at reading for myself. I don't sugar coat what I see with myself and I take the advice I receive seriously. However, I have been feeling very doubtful about my ability to read for others. I have tried to do readings for some family and friends, but I usually end up completely missing the mark. I do have one friend who I give relatively accurate readings for, oddly enough. This sounds like a convenient excuse but... I wonder if the people I've been reading for are just expecting the tarot not to work and are therefor making it not work.

So the question is: How can I improve my ability to read for others? That is really what I want to use tarot for... to help other people! I don't want to be that flashy, dramatic reader who draws big, accurate insights just because they can (while ignoring the fact that the querent already knows it). I want to provide meaningful spiritual/emotional/other counsel. I really appreciate any advice you might have for me!

Thank you,
BlueMoon

I hear you. 
I went through a period of intense travelling, and had to set my deck apart for a while. When I took it back, it was in a completely new places in which I did not know many people. 
I felt that I had lost the ability to read for others, as in the days when I would draw almost daily for friends and such. 
What I did was sign up at an internet tarot forum. Some of them have monthly reading circle, where you commit to read for other people (who read for you). What's nice about it is that you know nothing about the person, you get an enormous variety of topics/ questions, and you get feedback - like accurate feedback. It challenges your ability to really see into the cards, the connections, and draw a coherent and fleshed-out response. You also get a chance to play with monthly spreads and such. It was really a playground for me, and it helped my divination to flourish. 
 

Hope this helps :) 

 


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#12 Bluemoon

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Posted 04 July 2016 - 09:45 PM

I really like this idea Aria. I'll look into it! Thank you!
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#13 AuroraBaenSidhe

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Posted 05 July 2016 - 01:47 PM

Personally, I avoid reading tarot for others because every time I have, the person became obsessed with divination to the point where I'd receive calls and text in the wee hours asking for a reading. 

 

Honestly the reading is as much about the person your are reading for as it is about you, the cards, etc. I've heard it said that there are spirits who guide the cards. I've also heard that you yourself guide the cards; that you intuitively know the answers already you just need the focal point to show you the way, etc. Personally, I think the receptiveness of the person you are reading for is paramount. Some people are simply so closed off, that a reading won't work. That's something going on with them and there isnt much you can do about it, 

 

When I used to read for others before I started I would tell them, Be open to it or it won't work. Nothing in the reading is absolute and can be interpreted in many ways, do not tell me anything specific or even ask your question out loud till after the cards are pulled. In that way it was kept honest and realistic for them, and unbiased for me. 


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#14 Kaia

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Posted 06 July 2016 - 10:20 PM

There has been some awesome advice given so far! Thanks everyone for sharing. I would say for me a huge reason I have trouble reading for others is that sometimes I go in nervous and unsure of myself, scared I'm going to come up empty or not connect with the person. I try to remember that I am only delivering a message, one that the person may not want to hear at the moment or they may realize it's meaning at a later time. There are also different meanings for the same card, and the meaning can be even more different depending on the cards around it as well. You know your stuff when it comes to cards, but you can't always know what specifically is going on in that person's life at the moment. It is absolutely essential for the person to do a little interpreting of their own from the information you give them. It's their message after all, they need to be open to receiving it.

 

What works for me, as I am still a novice myself, is reading more often for people who WANT me to read for them (not looking for a reason for it to be a fraud) and aren't skeptical or analyzing me. They encourage me and help me along the way by participating in uncovering possible meanings.  It helps me build my confidence and feel more comfortable so I can continue to improve.


Edited by Kaia, 06 July 2016 - 10:21 PM.

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#15 Bluemoon

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Posted 06 July 2016 - 10:33 PM

Thank you AuroraBaenSidhe and Kaia. You both make some great points!
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#16 westofthemoon

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Posted 10 July 2016 - 05:58 PM

When I read for others, I have to say "this reading is for X. X asks..."' If the person is a magical practitioner, I will ask their ancestors for input. But, asking for "X" has worked out well for my readings. Otherwise the cards only read for me. Hope that helps :)
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#17 Bluemoon

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Posted 10 July 2016 - 06:56 PM

Thanks westofthemoon. I'll be sure to try that out!
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#18 Mistflower

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Posted 13 July 2016 - 09:44 AM

How is it going, Bluemoon?

 

My recent experience in reading cards for someone was more like a joint reading. I was asking a question for my daughter, who was with me. We asked the question together and she drew three cards from my deck, after briefly shuffling. I helped spread the cards out, and we were both invested in the question.

 

It's a Lenormand deck, and she drew the dog, the moon, the clover. I told her it was a very definite YES, and she experienced an electric shock. That Yes has since come to be, and I feel that was a successful card reading for her. 


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#19 Bluemoon

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Posted 13 July 2016 - 06:19 PM

It's going pretty well, thank you Mistflower! I actually recently did a reading for a friend of a friend and it went well actually. I was able to pick up on feelings of abandonment from the 5 of swords... I've been working on tapping into my intuition and I think it really is helping. Also, I shuffled the cards for my client while thinking something like "give me some information that will help her," (she didn't want to tell me the issue she was dealing with and wanted a general reading, but the issues with her boyfriend came through loud and clear). She said that the reading didn't tell her anything she didn't already know... But hey, she didn't want to tell me so I had to figure it out. And I gave her the advice and probable outcome that the cards were showing.

But yeah the process did turn out to be a bit more collaborative after I said "abandonment" and she began to open up. I did get a few things wrong in my initial impressions but overall it went well!

I just want to say thank you to everyone who posted here. I received a lot of helpful advice and personal stories!

One last thing: I am very excited to start using my lenormand deck... If it would ever get here!

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#20 Belle

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Posted 16 July 2016 - 10:44 AM

Hey Mistflower...You got the Lenormand deck...Good for you. I like that deck. If was a card-reader I would use that deck. 

 

Bluemoon, you are getting that deck too. That's great. I know everybody likes Tarot but I don't really and I don't know why. I like Lenormand because the symbols are easy to understand and I don't read but I do look at a single card every day for myself. 

 

I get messages in other ways and I have the problem of everything being about me. I try to see a vision for somebody else, and it is about me again, or they will see a vision and it is about me again. Not so much me personally, but about my work. I have been working on this issue also. 

 

I just wanted to chime in and say "Keep up the good work!"


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