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Sex Cake


Aria
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From the ingredient list, it probably tastes just fine. I bet it has a richness instead of meatiness to it, like traditional mincemeat recipes which have rather a lot of beef in the the mix. I wonder why there is no cinnamon in the recipe, as it reminds me of some of the older flavor combinations used in Italian cookery, and also I am surprised that it isn't put into little cakes to be fried in sweet oil. I think that with a spicy wine, or maybe a ruby port, and a light sallet of greens alongside, it would not only work but be yummy.

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From the ingredient list, it probably tastes just fine. I bet it has a richness instead of meatiness to it, like traditional mincemeat recipes which have rather a lot of beef in the the mix. I wonder why there is no cinnamon in the recipe, as it reminds me of some of the older flavor combinations used in Italian cookery, and also I am surprised that it isn't put into little cakes to be fried in sweet oil. I think that with a spicy wine, or maybe a ruby port, and a light sallet of greens alongside, it would not only work but be yummy.

 

Don't know about the cinnamon, although I think it would make an interesting addition.

Re the fried vs. baked: I'm guessing that for a rural household it might make more sense to bake it than to fry it, as both vegetable and animal oil were quite expensive commodities before WWII. On the contrary, most households would have access to an oven either in their own household or through the communal oven.

 

It also reminds me of some recipes from medieval and renaissance cookbooks from Italy. I'll have to specify that I'm sure the sausages are pork, rather than beef. I think the mincemeat pies were a common thread across Europe in pre-industrial revolution cooking, and they gloriously survived in the British Isles. The recipe is from the North of Italy, which is known for its heavy cooking based on pork and pork fat - while cooking in the South revolves more around olive oil and vegetables.

 

Aria

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Sex Cake:

 

1 package heavy whipping cream

pinch of sugar

 

Beat cream into peaks. Take off clothes. Rub cream on body. Sit naked covered in whipped cream in front of door when you hear your SO's car pull into driveway.

 

Works every time, I can confirm this :-D

 

M (ha ha ha)

 

 

Lol! Yes, I can see how this one would work for sure!

 

:rofl:

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I just had an hysterical thought. Here we are talking about how bad this is going to taste and yet, some of us here, smear menstrual blood on food for others to eat. :roflhard: :roflhard: :roflhard:

 

Rosy that's the most Ancient Binding Love Spell that will work without doubt. :twisted_witch: :twisted_witch: :twisted_witch:

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I know :roflhard:

 

I've actually been thinking about this offline.

 

Specifically about how the sausage is processed. It doesn't get anymore phallic than that. And then you feed it to the guy!?!?! He willingly accepted that part of the spell and consumed it. Yup, his dick belongs to that witch now.

 

If just the sausage part does that much - what do the rest of the ingredients do?

 

I hate recipe list spells. I want to know why the ingredients are what they are, what do they do, how do they work together?

 

Just the sausage part is as sympathetic magic as we get. We don't just pretend it's his dick - it becomes his dick. And then you feed it to him.

 

 

 

(yeah, I know I'm a little twisted in this department - Lorena Bobbit is my idol. For realsies. Is anyone here surprised by that?)

 

 

 

But if only one of the ingredients can be wielded that way - they all can. What does the other stuff do? Can we figure that out? The mechanics behind how it works. I love that shit!

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Totally unrelated, I went to school near where the Bobbit incident happened, I know where the exact grassy area is where the bloody detached schlong landed.

 

Personally I don't equate sausage as much with a phallus as I do intestines, but that's probably because of how familiar I am with homemade recipes. Growing up in Bavaria too I barely remember but I used to go with the landlord to the markplatz that had a butcher shop where they would pack the blutwurst and leberwurst regularly in genuine viscera.

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I know :roflhard:

 

I've actually been thinking about this offline.

 

Specifically about how the sausage is processed. It doesn't get anymore phallic than that. And then you feed it to the guy!?!?! He willingly accepted that part of the spell and consumed it. Yup, his dick belongs to that witch now.

 

If just the sausage part does that much - what do the rest of the ingredients do?

 

I hate recipe list spells. I want to know why the ingredients are what they are, what do they do, how do they work together?

 

Just the sausage part is as sympathetic magic as we get. We don't just pretend it's his dick - it becomes his dick. And then you feed it to him.

 

 

 

(yeah, I know I'm a little twisted in this department - Lorena Bobbit is my idol. For realsies. Is anyone here surprised by that?)

 

 

 

But if only one of the ingredients can be wielded that way - they all can. What does the other stuff do? Can we figure that out? The mechanics behind how it works. I love that shit!

Has anyone here ever made a sausage?

The pork meat gets grinded, then it is normally mixed with herbs, spices and other seasoning. The meat is let to sit in order to incorporate the seasoning, then empty pork bowels are filled with it.

In my experience of folk magic, minced meat - or directly meat from sausages - may be used for quite a few purposes.

I've seen people making puppets with minced meat (or bread crumbs wet with milk or spit). In Italian folk magic the boundaries between cooking and magic are often blurred.

 

This just to say that there is more to sausages than just their phallic shape.

As for the other ingredients, as it has already been written: ginger is often used for potency and energy, coffee is also a known energizer. Candied fruits are often used in recipes associated with fertility and abundance (for example, they are among the chief ingredients of some Easter cakes of pre-roman tradition that are still widely baked in the South).

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Oh well, I tend to think of cooking as an essentially magical act, because of the tremendous transformative power unleashed by judicious application of heat, or acid or the universal solvent. I may be no smith, but a cook I am. I can take inedible and even poisonous substances and transform that into healthy food for little children. Just to start. And let's think about the history of these ingredients. Ginger, whether powdered or candied-- not clear here-- is anyhow a long, knobbly root (hurr hurr) so there is that, and caffea was discovered by goats. Goats! taught humans to take coffee. It made them suspiciously, startlingly frisky. Their human wanted some of that, and now we have Starbucks. The fruit is left up to the individual, and that's where the practitioner can get creative and specific to desired effects-- you can candy anything, even medlars. Flour, eggs, sugar, milk are unimpeachable in this application. And, I maintain that that this would taste nice. But, I'm not going to be the guinea pig: we already have four children. Ask again in twenty years.

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Fuck it y'all...

 

I'll bake the gods damned cake.

 

And I will feed it to someone. And he will eat it, or vomit, or both...I'll post results.

 

I'm not scared of being a guinea pig, and I have a few ulterior motives :thumbsup: , aaaannnndddd a stupid-hot guy to bake it for, who will eat whatever the fuck I put in front of him just because he's happy it's not an MRE and because I made it.

 

Let's see what happens ::rubs her hands together and emits an evil laugh::

 

Mwhahahahaha!!!

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Oh well, I tend to think of cooking as an essentially magical act, because of the tremendous transformative power unleashed by judicious application of heat, or acid or the universal solvent. I may be no smith, but a cook I am.

 

Amen to that !

 

 

Fuck it y'all...

 

I'll bake the gods damned cake.

 

And I will feed it to someone. And he will eat it, or vomit, or both...I'll post results.

 

I'm not scared of being a guinea pig, and I have a few ulterior motives :thumbsup: , aaaannnndddd a stupid-hot guy to bake it for, who will eat whatever the fuck I put in front of him just because he's happy it's not an MRE and because I made it.

 

Let's see what happens ::rubs her hands together and emits an evil laugh::

 

Mwhahahahaha!!!

 

Go girl!

Very curious to see how it'll turn out, keep us up to date !

 

Aria

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  • 10 months later...

All Love Spells are slightly manipulative in nature, for it to work well certain requirements must be met. For it to work without much requirements then it has to be very manipulative in nature which would require Spell of darker means.

 

It's not a love spell, it's a sex spell.  Love and sex are two very different things.  Besides, all spells are manipulative.  That's the point.

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Once upon a time I was involved with someone, off and on. He would disappear and then show up again. We were working together for a reason. 

 

One night...he was away....and I baked a cake.  I never do that but I did that night. The spell was 'If I knew you were coming, I'd have baked a cake'....

 

Then he showed up, that same evening. 

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Well I would like to know how the cake went now that this post is at the surface haha. Maybe I'll bake it for my fiance sometime this summer and see what he thinks of it  :P

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  • 1 year later...

I can totally imagine that this cake would work, and if I wasn't vegan, I'd immediately try it. The combination of meat and sweet things is quite common, I think, and not disgusting at all, tastewise. Just think of toast or pizza hawaii, or of pancakes with bacon and maple syrup.

And even if it was a little disgusting, just hidden well enough, it might be a great turn on. Sex sometimes borders on disgust, the smells, the tastes... But it really just BORDERS. Being the tiniest bit grossed out by sex makes it hotter, I've figured. I think it's the animal within taking over the human. You see, animals have no sense of disgust like we do. Cats for instance smell on their poop before burying it, and lick their butts clean. While lemons disgust them. Humans, on the other hand... You know.

 

Thanks for posting the Isabel Allende book link! I also can recommend Like Water For Chocolate, there is a lot of cooking going on in order to mesmerize, seduce and enamore the object of desire of the main character.

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  • 4 months later...

Sex Cake:

 

1 package heavy whipping cream

pinch of sugar

 

Beat cream into peaks. Take off clothes. Rub cream on body. Sit naked covered in whipped cream in front of door when you hear your SO's car pull into driveway.

 

Works every time, I can confirm this :-D

 

M (ha ha ha)

This reminds me of old Finnish Midsummer spells. :D Here are some of my favourites:

 

1. If you roll around naked in a wheat field, your future husband will appear in your life within a year. Dew was believed to have a healing effect and rolling in it was supposed to make you beautiful and healthy. Earlier, dew was even collected in cloths and pressed into bottles for the year to come.

 

2. After sauna of the Midsummer night run over trenches of the rye fields naked. At the ninth trench you will meet your groom.

 

3. At the midnight of the Midsummer run around sauna 3 times naked. Look in through the sauna's window and you will see your future husband. You should have a gift for the groom or something bad will happen.

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