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Why? Why? Was I living under a rock?


Ora

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I am new to the group. I thought I would share the short of the long of my story because you all are so open and soulfull, it really makes me feel at home. I did not grow up in a Christian household but my parents believed in finding your own path, so I was on my own from the very beginning to believe in what I believed. In my early adulthood, I was a Witch. I dedicated myself as a Witch, a Pagan, a child of the Earth and all that is above and below...then, there began this wave of new age folks everywhere. It was gradual but then all of the sudden books were plentiful and classes were everywhere. Everyone spoke if Wicca this and Wicca that. I was so nieve. I feel the fool. I thought they were one and the same.

 

I spent a decade looking for a Wiccan group I liked. I just kept going with my own studies and spirituality, which was clearly not Wiccan as I see now, but I never got that. I didn't like any of the Wiccan groups as their focus always seemed off to me and they always seemed to miss what I thought was the point. They just weren't anywhere near to what I felt was real to me. I joined an on-line Wiccan community just a month or so ago. It was there that it hit me that I was not Wiccan. Group after group, and this was the last straw, it was not the group, it was me. I woke up. I wish it had come sooner but I am patient and always believe that there is a purpose so I need to ride it out.

 

This past Dark Moon gave me the gift of seeing a bigger picture from a new perspective. I went back to what I had written and been before the new wave, and I was never a Wiccan. I feel like I just woke up from a long, bizarre dream. I feel like I was in a really hot room with a warm coat on and finally was able to take it off. I have come to the conclusion that I must have needed to test myself, a challenge to see if I believed what I believed because it was what I actually thought or if it was because it was all around me. I feel like I really own who and what I am now. I feel like a fool for so many years trying to fit a circle into a square, but also feel good because I kept searching and never actually made the circle fit. That is how I ended up here. Really nothing has changed but I have to admit that trying to be Wiccan really wore me out.

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Greetings Ora

 

Hell alll I can say is YEP.

 

When I first started examining groups and so on I studied Wicca for a while ... right up until I didn't think but cursed a guy who irritated me ... 10 pouds and handfulls of hair less a week later he asked me to lift it. Oddly enough by that stage I had fogotten who he was.

 

I had a scratch of the head and a bit of a think and came to the conclusion that that form wasn't who I was ....

 

I did that lots of times in different ways and eventually found my place - I personally think it is the best way.

 

Fraternally

 

Scott

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Guest wortmistress

I think alot of us have studied Wicca at one point or another, or have been Christian, Buddhist etc. The great thing, about this, in retrospect, is the lessons they have taught us(through positive or negative experiences!). Wicca left me knowing that I had to more spontaneous in my workings, and to keep it simple. It taught me to trust my instincts and not to follow another's footsteps exactly. Zen Buddhism taught me patience, to see the bigger picture and to simplify. I took what life lessons I needed from these paths and integrated them into my own personal set of ethics. Not the Wiccan Rede, not the Five Precepts but my own. Until recently, I denied my links to these paths, especially to Wicca. Now I embrace them, acknowledge their"wisdom" and know that had I not been diverted from the path to the Craft, I would not be the person I am today.:hugs:

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Good Morning All,

 

Welcome to the site and forum Ora :)

 

I think ,as Scott and W.M. said, that everyone encounters Wicca, especially now when they are first looking for something. I think it's good that we can learn from each belief system .. even if it's just that that belief isn't for us!

 

The seeking of your own self, soul, path is an amazing journey and it lasts life times. But that feeling of what I can only refer to as 'coming home' when you find yourself is something that is a wonderful feeling.

 

We can look back on the paths we've studied, and there is always something of value we have learned from them .. like Scott said, it's the best way!

 

Once again welcome Ora :)

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Hi Ora,

 

Welcome to the forum and I hope you feel as comfortable here as I do. Only recently found my way to where I wanted to be, I have always been a pagan( having lived and worked in nature all my life), I tried many things, researched a lot on Druidry ( probably started because of my interest in history particularly Celtic), tried the Wiccan path and found that just didnt seem right, then through a chance meeting I found this site and now it all makes sense. I know how you feel but must say I have picked up so much on my journey and feel I was meant to take that route. The day we stop learning is the day we stop breathing!

 

Once again welcome :)

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Hi...

 

I was alittle hestitant to respond to this original posting because I did not want to appear to be "Wiccan Bashing"...I have a few friends who are Wiccan...and twice I atttempted to hold rituals in my home, blending both Traditonal & Wiccan styles...only to end up (not only) having weird energy in my house, but also several people engaging in heated verbal debates during the rituals about the "proper" ritual methods (the result of one of these debates was the severing of a friendship between a local Wiccan H.P. and myself, and another bawling her eyes out because her feelings got hurt). Since then, I no longer attempt to hold those types of rituals in my home (or anywhere for that matter). Now if and when I decide to allow others to join in a ritual in my home, I made it clear that it will Traditoinal and not Wicca, also that they have a choice...be tolerant and learn something or politely decline with respect. I have also attended some Wiccan rituals in my past and felt like a fish out of water (but always kept in my mind that if I requested tolerance and respect for my views then I must in return give the same), and have learned as well that I do not care to be included in future Wiccan related events.

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Hi Ora, welcome :)

 

I think most of us here have "suffered" trying to find out who we are and society telling us what we should be. I had looked at Wicca years before I even realised I was Pagan and knew then it wasnt right. I spent so long just aimlessly wondering around thinking I was literally crazy. I was continously accused of being an Atheist, which annoyed me because I felt that "God" was in everything and everyone, just not a guy on a cloud with a long finger (seemed like giving me the stinky finger all the time lol)

 

So, I finally stumble across a Pagan site, still not knowing what direction I was going but at least knew I was Pagan. Looked again at Wicca and turned on my heel and locked the door behind me this time. I then stumbled across a Traditional Witch Priest by chance online and, well, since then I finally knew who and what I was :).

 

Its a great feeling when you finally find yourself and the "glove" finally fits, so welcome once again Ora, and thank your higher self for guiding you here :hugs:

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