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Spider...friend?


Faeriechilde

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So, I have this fear of spiders. I don´t scream when I see one but  when I find one crawling on me, no matter how big or small, I shriek like a little girl. I just don´t like them and they creep me out. That doesn´t mean that I kill them when I find one in the house. Oh no. I act all brave and catch them with a glass and try to gently throw them (with the glass) into the garden. People think I´m insane.

 

Anyway,so a few months ago I find this beautiful spider in my bathroom, spinning a nice little web for itself. I have no idea what kind of spider it was, even though I tried to google it, but it was pretty. It was smallish with  yellow colouring and it had light blue and orange dots. So I decided that the spider could live in my bathroom and I called her Kali (I assumed she was a female). This was a big step for me and I told her that she can stay and be my roomie as long as she didn´t lay any eggs. She didn´t and she stayed for at least 6 months, growing bigger as time went on.

 

I would talk to her everyday and it felt like we were developing a relationship. I still have a fear of spiders but with her I was okay. Last week I took a bath and washed my hair and as I looked ahead of me I saw that Kali had dropped onto the bathtub rim which she had never done before. Instead of being calm and trying to figure out why she would do this, I freaked out and got out the bath. I regret that now.

 

So the point of all of this is that since I allowed Kali to stay I have noticed an increase in spiders in my house. I find them everywhere. I clean the house on a regular basis but I just keep finding more and more spiders. It has gotten quite bad in the last few weeks. Could it be that somehow, maybe, I have become something like a spider ´friend`? I don´t know what else to call it but like when you form a relationship with a tree and you exchange energy, other trees can pick up on that and identify you as a tree friend. Could that be a similar thing?

 

I´m just trying to figure out what is going and I did remove Kali from my bathroom yesterday and set her free in the garden. I am hoping that that will maybe help. I am tired of running around with a glass trying to catch spiders.

 

Does anyone have any thoughts on this or a similar experience?

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I don't know where on the planet you are but for those of us where it's getting colder - the bugs and spiders are trying to come in.  It's that time of year.

 

I've also noticed an upswing in 'critters' when you allow one to stay.  Bugs and I have a truce - the inside in mine and the outside is theirs.  LOL

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Not trying to freak you out here, but have you heard this one before? You are never more then three feet away from a spider. They are literally everywhere. Most of the time we just don't see or notice them. Some are very small and some hide in out of the way places. It is true where I am you see them more this time of year as they look for warm places. Perhaps the reason you are seeing them more now is that you have made yourself more open such encounters by your interaction with Kali (the spider).

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I have the same thing going on. Somewhere around here is a big rant about how much I hate spiders because they freak me out so much. Since then I've developed what I think is a healthy relationship with them. I like to see spiders around, they make me feel comforted.

 

And yep, they are everywhere now. There must be four or five in my room at least, I leave them to their own business and don't bother them. They have absolutely invaded my garden as well and they like to hang out around the front and back doors of my house.

 

I think I agree with your assessment that once you declare yourself as being a Friend of something, then others of their kind take notice. It consistently amazes me how our fears and desires can shape our realities. When I was working on facing my inner fears, spiders were one of the first things that showed up. It makes me wonder what else I could be keeping out or letting in without realizing it.

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I am in South Africa and summer is just about to arrive..So they should love being outside.I should start charging them rent. :rofl:

Yeah Solanaceae, I have heard that before. I try not to think about that too much.

Maybe it is time to face that fear and really start connecting with them. I´ll start doing a lot of research. I know that they are actually wonderful little creatures so I just gotta get past their creepy exterior.

Thanks guys :thumbsup:

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Your home may be the kind of environment they prefer, for instance, the bathroom spider may like warm and humid areas and thrives in your bathroom, eating other bugs that may be a pest to you.  This may be the same type of case with the other spiders you are seeing. Maybe with the warmer weather of spring and summer you are about to get in your neck of the woods the population will thin out and head outside.

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I am in South Africa and summer is just about to arrive..So they should love being outside.I should start charging them rent. :rofl:

Yeah Solanaceae, I have heard that before. I try not to think about that too much.

Maybe it is time to face that fear and really start connecting with them. I´ll start doing a lot of research. I know that they are actually wonderful little creatures so I just gotta get past their creepy exterior.

Thanks guys :thumbsup:

 

I hope Monsnoleedra doesn't mind me paraphrasing him.

 

Earlier this year (before I was a friend to the spiders) I was in Chat talking to him and some other folks. A big wolf spider climbed up my wall behind my computer. At this time I was very tense and stressed out, because me and big spiders did not mix! Monsno said something similar to, "that's just an old grandmother spider coming to check on you." I don't remember his exact words I'm afraid. But that gave me a very interesting new way to think of spiders, and how they relate to witchcraft. Forget black cats, I think spiders are the witchiest critters :) Now whenever I see spiders I think they are just coming to say hello and check up on their young witchlet friend. I think I could have a lot of lessons to learn from spiders on how to Weave the Web, you know?

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Well shit, you guys are making me feel guilty about all the spiders I have crushed for leaving their web areas. I dont generally bother them in the window sills or up in high corners because they eat the other bugs that get in and are neat to watch sometimes, but the ones i find breaking the deal and creeping around get mooshed. It's not that often, but it happens.  Im not that fond of anything with an exoskeleton, really. But i like other "creepy crawlies", snakes and reptiles of all kinds and certain insects (praying mantisis, silkworms, lacewings and purple beetles!!!). There was once a spider I watched turn into about a million tiny spiders and that made my skin crawl so bad I never fully recovered.

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You see, when I read Wexler´s post I´m all like, `yeah that´s cute, old grandmother spider is coming to check on me, that´s awesome´ and then I get to CailinRua´s post about the million spiders and I´m like f*ck no! lol

 

But seriously, Wex you are right. There are so many lessons we can learn from them. I´ve just got to take that first step.

 

RachelLizLear, I hope you are right.I drowned one today by mistake because it was hiding in the mop and the other one was safely deposited outside. I felt really bad. I hate it when I accidentally kill them.

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Guest monsnoleedra

I don't know enough of South American lore about the spider to say how they view it. That given I imagine though it is fairly close to the lore of Grandmother Spider who weaves the threads and such and may take the form of a spider to visit the physical world.  In Greek lore the spider represent the three women who weave the tapestry of life and also may take the form of a spider to come and visit.  Sometimes said to test humans who are gifted and to see if they truly are gifted or just posers.  If you recognize them regardless of which persona then your said to be real.  Of course it never says what happens if you don't recognize them.  I imagine not to different than the Norns (think that is what there called) in Nordic mythology who spin the skeen and may also show up occasionally in spider form.

 

I would also suggest that dream catchers are some times made from actual spider webs with a living spider and hung above the bed to catch both night terrors and bothersome insects.  Then once the web is filled you pluck the bad stuff out and allow the spider to create a new one or move a whole new stick and allow it to create a new home.

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I think I've never seen a reference to the Norns being associated with spiders, and they are said to score wood to allot fate in the most important poetry rather than to be spinning/weaving as the classical fates do, the most important exception to that may be found in Helgakviða Hundingsbana in which the Norns are said to weave the web of fate. But spiders? Of course there is an overlap and/or direct association between the Fates, the Moira and the Norns, but I've never seen the Norns and spiders being mentioned together.

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Guest monsnoleedra

I think I've never seen a reference to the Norns being associated with spiders, and they are said to score wood to allot fate in the most important poetry rather than to be spinning/weaving as the classical fates do, the most important exception to that may be found in Helgakviða Hundingsbana in which the Norns are said to weave the web of fate. But spiders? Of course there is an overlap and/or direct association between the Fates, the Moira and the Norns, but I've never seen the Norns and spiders being mentioned together.

 

 

Wasn't sure if it was the Norns or fates that spun the skeen of ones life as I honestly didn't recall.  Just recall like the Greek there was three of them and near as I recall one cut the thread to start life, one placed it in the tapestry and one cut the final death to end its place in the tapestry.  Admit though I am more familiar with the Greek (Hellen) lore better in that regard.

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Sounds like the three Moirai indeed Monso: Clotho, Lachesis and Atropos, one spun the thread, one measured it, and one cut it at the moment of death. But as Greek, Latin and Germanic cultures share a common Indo-European source it's a safe bet the several trinities of fate have a common origin. There are also related divinities of fate among the Balts and Slavs.

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Guest monsnoleedra

Perhaps sort of interesting but Piers Anthony wrote the book series Incarnates of Immortality, with book three being A Tangled Skein which always makes me remember them.  Lots of Christian influences in the books but was a series I always enjoyed reading.  

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I don't mind spiders.  I don't mind letting them live, and I also don't mind killing them.  The other day I was gathering up the carcasses of my dead/frozen pepper plants and killed somewhere around 20 black widows.  I don't let them go to waste though, they are currently awaiting a magical purpose in my storage area.  Black widows are the only potentially lethal spider in my area, I typically leave them be during summer so they can keep garden pests like caterpillars and beetles in check but if I see them in/on/near the house in autumn they're toast.  I usually let some nice orb weavers hang out around my patio light to catch moths during the summer.  I have cellar spiders in the basement, they aren't hurting anything and sometimes their webs will help keep the invasive stink bug population in check during Winter.

 

A few weeks ago I had a pretty brown and pink orb weaver in my truck.  I noticed a bunch of webs all over the steering column and was thinking "great this thing is gonna be crawling on me while I'm driving."  Not knowing what kind it was I proceeded with caution and drove off.  Sure enough going about 55 on a curvy back road I feel it tickling my arm.  Rather than freaking out I looked down to see what kind it was.  A rather large one but I knew what kind it was.  I stopped at a gas station in town and scooped it up and was trying to stick it on a tree.  It kept webbing up my hand and wouldn't get off and a lady was freaking out "OMG is that a spider!  Are you gonna kill it?!"  I shrugged and said "nah it was in my truck I'm just sticking it on this tree here.  It's an orb weaver, not gonna hurt anything."    I don't understand why people freak out so badly about them.

 

Hornets I do not like.  I don't think there is any arthropod as malevolent in this world or the next as a hornet.  Not only can they fly, but when you piss them off they bring their buddies.

 

Let's all be eternally grateful that spiders can't fly.

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Well Monsno, the local cultures here don´t seem to have much to say about spiders that I can find. The only thing I do know about is Anansi who is a West African trickster god who takes the form of a spider. He is said to trick humans and has the knowledge of all stories. I do however work with quite a few Xhosa ladies as well as a Zulu lady so maybe I should ask them. It is always tricky though seeing that most of them are Christian and have somewhat abandoned their cultural beliefs. They also don´t really like talking about such things to people from other cultures. I will give it a go anyway. Worst case scenario will be that they think I am nuts. I can live with that.

 

So I´ve done some research on the spiders in my house and it turns out that the majority of them are brown button spiders. Black button spiders are known as black widows elsewhere in the world and the brown buttons are their slightly less poisonous cousins. That´s just great. I am not amused. But like Caps said, luckily they cannot fly. And yes, hornets are a bitch. 

 

Funny enough I had a spider in my car last week as well and I was not as cool as you Caps. This one was smallish and fat but it was one of those that likes to jump around. (Like i said, they are literally everywhere)

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Yeah we have brown button type spiders here too, they're alright.  in the deep south in the US there are also brown widows that are just as nasty as a black widow though.  I think black widows are also called redbacks in places like Australia and New Zealand.

 

Spiders in the car are no fun, especially when they're big fat ones.

 

We have some rather massive wolf spiders and funnel weavers here that I've seen some that are no less than 75 mm in leg diameter (about 3 inches).  They can run super fast too.  The wolf spiders are creepy because they move around a lot and don't make webs and can end up just about anywhere but the funnel weavers are easy to spot since they're usually stationary. 

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This property has an abundance of daddy long legs.  They really like hanging out on or near the outside of the house.

 

When I was little there were a lot of them.  They were the one spider I was never afraid of and would occupy me for hours.  (I'm an only child). 

 

Does anyone know any lore about daddy long legs?

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I'm not sure Caps, harvestmen I guess, it's a bit confusing to me because I never referred to one in English terms except for daddy long-legs. We use the word "hooiwagen" in Dutch (hay wagon) for the Phalangium opilio and Opilio parietinus

 

LOL I had to Google what a crane fly is and you're right about that. In Dutch we call a crane fly a "langpoot" which means long leg. 

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