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new stage of life - maybe?


RoseRed

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I was originally thinking of posting this in the private area simply because it's kinda personal.  The reason I'm posting it here is because there are Seekers who's opinions I value.

 

You guys all know that I've been going through a season of near hell.  What I like to call a crucible.  I truly and fully believe that this is in preparation for my next initiation as do those I've confided in.

 

I knew there was something magical and much bigger than me behind this move.  Especially, the specific house that I found to move to.  I've experienced the mercy that Hekate can show (which is not something you hear a lot of).

 

Most of you also know that, like so many others who spend a lot of time online, I have some health problems.

 

Something is happening here that is kinda blowing my mind.  When Mom was leaving the nursing home I told the social worker that I could pull anyone doctor of the yellow pages.  Who would she take her own Mother to?  She set up the appt and I really liked him.  I made an appointment of my own - he's more than a primary - he's an actual family doctor.  And I'm impressed!  After being sick for almost 20 years it takes a lot in a doctor to impress me.

 

I accidentally walked into my chiropractors office in the same office park while looking for the pain management doctors office.  He does a comprehensive physical therapy program along with chiropracting and I really like him.  I had a highly charged and emotional appt with a pain management doc yesterday who gave my chiro one hell of a compliment.  (I'll get to that in a minute).  He said 'You JUST got here and you found the BEST chiro in the area.  I couldn't send you to anyone with a better physical therapy program than his!'

 

The pain doc - we spent the second half of the consultation yelling at each other.  It was one of the most honest interactions I've ever had.  I honestly think he can help me.  He's willing to look into the rare illness that I have and see if he can.  He's not a doc that maintains the status quo.  He only wants patients that want to get better than they are right now. 

 

Since he was unfamiliar with my actual illness he wanted to treat me with the protocols for fibromyalgia.  Oh yeah, that went well.  After he went through his shpeil I looked him dead in the face and said 'dude, are you fucking crazy?!?  No!"  (Hence the yelling)

 

What amazes me is that this whole thing feels like more than a coincidence.  I was guided into the chiro's office.  The docs I'm finding are actually good ones.  (I'm sure a lot of you know how hard that is to find). 

 

Not that I believe all that much in coincidence.

 

I feel as if I'm at the beginning of a new stage of life.  It's exhilarating and exciting and kinda terrifying all at the same time.  There's the beginnings of a hope that I had almost completely given up on.  That's scary, too.

 

This feels so much bigger than me.  I just really wanted to share this with people who actually 'get it'.

 

 

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It is so relieving and inspiring to hear that you have the opportunity to genuinely thrive, rather than simply survive.  It does indeed sound as if you are in a new stage of life!  I know what you mean by the intimidation of hope being revived: new possibilities present a sense of the unknown, which can be so unsettling-yet-thrilling.

 

I feel as if I'm at the beginning of a new stage of life.  It's exhilarating and exciting and kinda terrifying all at the same time.  There's the beginnings of a hope that I had almost completely given up on.  That's scary, too.

---

I can say without hesitation that I've had the exact same experience in the last 16 months.  When things fall into place so perfectly in regards to home and health- especially after years or decades of instability or utter chaos in those areas of life- I think it's healthy to question and analyze the hows and whys of the way things happen.  I, too, suspect that there were magical influences that brought me to this new stage of life, primarily due to the intense increase in volume and types of experiences I've had since moving into our home on this day last year.  

 

I'd be curious to hear how your Practice and Talents develop in your new home once you get settled in.

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Holy shit!  You should've been here for our Halloween dinner party.  I find that I'm able to slip fully into the Current whenever I choose to.  It's a mind blowing experience to have my family (my Beloved and my Mother) as part of my ceremony and Ritual.  I was suprised at the sheer amount of ancestors that showed up.  I was surprised at who, although in retrospect, I should'nt have been. 

 

I sat down and talked with my Mom about how this being the darker time of the year, how close I am to the dead right now and how much I'm looking forward to Solstice when I can celebrate the return of the light.

 

I've had the extremes of darkness and anger.  I hope that you guys remember the amazing experiences I had surrounding May Day.  Learning to combine those extremes into a semblance of balance has not been an easy task - but it is getting easier to do.

 

I just recently had a major breakthough with Ancestor Work.  That was pretty mind blowing, too.

 

This is all new for me.  Some days I feel like I'm drowning and other days - like Halloween when I put my all into it - it all made perfect sense.  This is a new area of practice for me.  The awe and wonder have returned for me.  It's a beautiful, if not overwhelming at times, thing.

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Rose, I am literally in happy tears right now. you a person that didn't give up and finally found a doc that will listen and actually help you get better. Live your life to the fullest! You deserve to be happy! I can feel for you with fighting something that consumes you and your life. I propably don't have the same thing as you,but my MS has taken a lot of my life from me and has taken my body from me. This inspires hope for me. When I here of someone who finds a REAL doc it makes me very happy. You have been given a gift a second chance at happiness and less suffering. I never found the right doctor until it was too late. So I'm glade it is not to late for you! My heart goes out to you and your family. :sunny:

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Thank you, so much. 

 

I've fought my way from going into a wheelchair twice now.  It's not MS but it has catastrophic times that are similar in nature.

 

I'm sitting here thinking how this ties into the conversation we had about shamanic practitioners with broken bodies.  I truly do hope that it's not too late.  I know I'm looking at a lot of PT and hell getting to where I want to be.  I don't know if that's actually a possibility but it's a worthy goal to strive for.

 

This past year with my Mom getting sick and being the only one able to take care of things - I couldn't fail.  That has been the best PT of all.  Even as dead tired and ready to collapse as I am - I'm still in a better physical condition than I was a year and a half ago.  Hell - even a year ago.

 

I'm scared to hope.  I've had hope before and it's fallen through.  it was devastating.  I don't want a repeat of that.

 

And you're right - I do believe it's a gift.  And I honor it as such.

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Thanks for sharing your story RR, seems to me that luck is really returning for you, the way that you describe the developments in your life right now, and the way it all seems part of something much bigger. May you live in health and happiness, sending you positive vibes from here!  :sunny:

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Good doctors are hard to find - glad you have one you like! Your energy and excitement in your post make me very happy for you!

 

I have known people who had fybromialgia and no longer do. I hope you figure out how to get to a place that feels good to you. I would be curious to hear what works for you if your condition improves, because the people I know did not go through medical care to heal, and I would love to hear a different perspective and approach that also works. (I know 2 people who healed with San Pedro, and one with Ayahuasca, though I have heard of others).

 

Change is always hard for a while, but so awesome in what you can get out of it. I really hope you find amazing blessings in this next stage of your life!

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Thank you.

 

I was originally diagnosed with 'the worst case of fibro that anyone had seen in a person my age (early 20s)'.  It took almost a decade to get an accurate diagnosis.  I probably do - just based on the trigger point assesment (although, the last I paid attention they were thinking of dropping that).  I have a blood disorder that I got when I was in the military.  It's common for it to be misdiagnosed or never found at all.

 

I did try a few healers, a spiritual healing in a Baptist church that was very different than the one I described the other day.  Some worked, some didn't, some worked for a while.

 

I've been running myself ragged.  It's time to get back to nourishing not only my body but also my soul.  The house is set up enough so that we can take our time with the rest of it.  I achieved that goal - go me!  It was rough - but I did it.  I couldn't have done it without the help of some truly amazing Talented friends.

 

It's kinda weird for a lifelong Solitary to have such close relationships with other Talents and Witches.

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Hi Rose I feel your a very inspiring person and enjoy your posts,I am so glad that your getting the help you need and wish you so much luck with it,looking after your Mum is hard, I know my Dad passed in May 5 years to the day after my Mum passed,I looked after him for the 5 years,now I know i did my best and feel glad they are together again.

Its sometimes difficult to hope, experience sometimes teaches us to think the worst.

I really do hope that you get sorted and good luck in your new home. daze.     

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Congratulations on finding not one, but two (!!) good doctors!!! That alone is enormous good news, but add in the syncronicities and chapters turning, oh man. Im excited for you :).

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Ya, diagnosis for fibromyalgia usually take a long time because doctors don't understand it well. I think most don't understand it because in my opinion it is emotional/mental/stress caused, with physical symptoms. Some doctors are finally starting to acknowledge how much power the brain has in making physical bodily symptoms, but for the most part it gets glossed over a bit. They really focus on physical causes for everything, which isn't always the case. Some new research in limbic revisioning and epigenetics I think is clearing some of this for western doctors though.

 

Nourishing yourself is a great idea - too much stress burden/load creates many difficult symptoms for the body. I don't think this alone would solve the issue, but I bet it would help!

 

Your positivity in this post is really infectious and exciting to me! Keep it up!

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I'm so glad things are looking up for you! What good news :) I hope it keeps going up... you've seen enough of the dark for a lifetime and more.  :yes:

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Positivity and me - who woulda thunk it?  :)

 

Thank you all so much!

 

Travsha - I was lucky that I was diagnosed quickly.  It was right after it became big and doctors were still arguing whether or not it was real.   At least I was able to get enough treatment to keep me out of a wheelchair - even if it was a misdiagnosis.

 

The best part is that my kitchen is almost finished being put away.  Trying to cook with limited tools has been 'fun' but now I see which drawers I'm reaching for when I want something.

 

And guess what?!?!?  We found the can opener yesterday!  :witchnana:

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Wanna hear something funny?  One of my best friends since early childhood laughed when she saw the pictures of the new house.  It really does look like a gingerbread house.  She told me I was just 'way too cliche' LOL.  A witch, living in a gingerbread house, on the edge of the woods - but it's true.

 

There is something so very special about this property.  It feels slightly out of time/slower than the rest of the world around it.

 

I was standing on the back deck the other day  and I realized that the trees on either side of the back yard make an arch about 60ish feet up.  It looks like one of nature's cathedrals.  It's just beautiful.  (We were talking about cathedrals in the other thread and it reminded me of this)

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I was originally thinking of posting this in the private area simply because it's kinda personal. The reason I'm posting it here is because there are Seekers who's opinions I value.

 

You guys all know that I've been going through a season of near hell. What I like to call a crucible. I truly and fully believe that this is in preparation for my next initiation as do those I've confided in.

 

I knew there was something magical and much bigger than me behind this move. Especially, the specific house that I found to move to. I've experienced the mercy that Hekate can show (which is not something you hear a lot of).

 

Most of you also know that, like so many others who spend a lot of time online, I have some health problems.

 

Something is happening here that is kinda blowing my mind. When Mom was leaving the nursing home I told the social worker that I could pull anyone doctor of the yellow pages. Who would she take her own Mother to? She set up the appt and I really liked him. I made an appointment of my own - he's more than a primary - he's an actual family doctor. And I'm impressed! After being sick for almost 20 years it takes a lot in a doctor to impress me.

 

I accidentally walked into my chiropractors office in the same office park while looking for the pain management doctors office. He does a comprehensive physical therapy program along with chiropracting and I really like him. I had a highly charged and emotional appt with a pain management doc yesterday who gave my chiro one hell of a compliment. (I'll get to that in a minute). He said 'You JUST got here and you found the BEST chiro in the area. I couldn't send you to anyone with a better physical therapy program than his!'

 

The pain doc - we spent the second half of the consultation yelling at each other. It was one of the most honest interactions I've ever had. I honestly think he can help me. He's willing to look into the rare illness that I have and see if he can. He's not a doc that maintains the status quo. He only wants patients that want to get better than they are right now.

 

Since he was unfamiliar with my actual illness he wanted to treat me with the protocols for fibromyalgia. Oh yeah, that went well. After he went through his shpeil I looked him dead in the face and said 'dude, are you fucking crazy?!? No!" (Hence the yelling)

 

What amazes me is that this whole thing feels like more than a coincidence. I was guided into the chiro's office. The docs I'm finding are actually good ones. (I'm sure a lot of you know how hard that is to find).

 

Not that I believe all that much in coincidence.

 

I feel as if I'm at the beginning of a new stage of life. It's exhilarating and exciting and kinda terrifying all at the same time. There's the beginnings of a hope that I had almost completely given up on. That's scary, too.

 

This feels so much bigger than me. I just really wanted to share this with people who actually 'get it'.

I'm extremely happy for you! I wish you well in this new chapter.

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Hello Rose :smile:

 

​I'm so happy to hear you are on the threshold of a new beginning.  Have you ever contemplated getting a henna tattoo ?  Perhaps invoking a spell upon your person, be it a symbol of strength, or renewal of health.. adding a Rune... etc.  Henna is forgiving as it will fade in time, yet the body absorbs the magical invocation.  Just my thoughts.

 

Wishing you Well .

 

 

Regards,

Gypsy

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Actually, I'm seriously considering a real tattoo.

 

My daughter is laughing because 'she got hers first'.  LOL

 

 

 

That is a brilliant idea!  I know that tattoos can be magical but my brain hadn't yet put that together.  Thank you.

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I am so glad to hear your news RR!

 

Since we started chatting earlier this year I have been constantly amazed at your ability to handle all the stuff you needed to do. You are an inspiration! I am stoked to hear about your doctors too :) I have only good feelings towards you and your situation, which are so feeling-full they cannot be accurately put in to words!!

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Your new home sounds lovely, the arch in the trees would have sold it for me, it sounds so beautiful.  And it is fantastic that you've found a medical team that you feel so confident about, I know how difficult it can be. 

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I am so very glad to hear things are going well now.  :smile:

 

Its amazing how one spark of truth  :wink: can kindle the fires of change.

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Thank you.

 

I've been 'on the fence' considering the new pain doc that I saw.   I just read my visit summary.  His jaded cynicism won out over actually being a healer.  He can go fuck himself.  I was not expecting that.

 

Which is really weird.  I really thought that he could help me.  I even did a yes/no one card pull - can he help me?  And I drew The Sun. 

 

I don't understand the reading in conjunction with recent events.  And that's why I rarely read for myself.

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Sometimes doctors have to write things in a certain way or with a certain slant because its what's expected in there paperwork. In reality they might have personal opinions and an outlook that differ from there official position.

 

I would stick with him and see things through. The Sun, indicates healing to me but it doesn't say of what kind. Perhaps its another stage you need to go through.  

 

Keep an eye out for omens, especially around your new home. It wouldn't be the first time you received a very accurate reading from such.

 

If you need any help with healing or anything let me know.

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Pain managment docs can be very assholeish. I don't see one any more but when I did I always btted heads with him. I asked him do you have severe chronic pain? And he said no, I said then you really have no idea what it really feels like and the emotional pain it also causes. That shut him up! I never went back. RR you remind me of myself that no matter how much adversity is put on to us we never give up! For me it's that inner prick in me.LOL. 

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