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ArcticWitch

Do you make others nervous since you began practicing?

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I got confused with that last post - using my phone, I missed my old post I made here... How silly of me!

 

ArcticWitch - the ability to switch between different modes of operating is a good skill. Healing wise, I try to always be in healing mode, and sometimes this does involve making other uncomfortable. Usually I do this more on purpose then by accident though - a little gentle prodding to challenge them and push them. Asking hard questions that challenge their current way of thinking, or convincing them to face a fear.

 

I would say my default more is comforting, and sometimes I switch to teaching through unbalancing. Usually the more difficult cases are the ones that need the most unbalancing. Unbalancing can sometimes force people to create a new balance - hopefully a more healthy one!

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Imagine a healer who made everyone uncomfortable? That wouldn't work!

 

 

 

I think you would be surprised. 

 

Granted, that's not for healing of the physical body but it can and does work for healing on a soul level.

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It was a long time ago that I started practicing. I was about 15, so it is hard to say if it was that or something else, like the fact that I dressed outrageously and tried to get a rise out of people like many teens do. It is true that I still make people feel nervous (on first impression anyway). I can't say I dress 'witchy' really, but I still don't look or dress very conventionally either.

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RR- usually the people I work with need healing on both levels at once. Many have also had too many poor experiences with doctors who couldn't help them, or just made things worst, and some have also dealt with sketchy "healers" before they found me. With the type of ceremony I do, they probably wouldn't wouldn't even agree to the ceremony if I made them comfortable. Especially in plant ceremonies - the plant will show them everything they don't want to see, and that can be difficult, so having a comforting guide can be very important.

 

Of course - it's also important with massage too! Imagine getting naked and letting someone touch you if they made you uncomfortable! Scary!

 

I find a lot of people spend their whole life being uncomfortable... They are uncomfortable being themselves, facing their own emotions, facing traumas they repressed, overly stressed, paranoid with a threat bias.... Many of my clients also have depression, anxiety or PTSD, or are tape victims who normally don't trust men... Sometimes just being with someone who calms them is a great aid - I don't see myself as someone who only works on their clients. I smile at everyone walkin down the street, because how do you know whether you're passing someone who really needed a smile that day?

 

Sometimes being uncomfortable is needed in healing, but you jab to be careful with making people nervous. If you scare them away or make ten defensive, you can lose a chance to help someone who really needs and wants help.

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 I don't see myself as someone who only works on their clients. I smile at everyone walkin down the street, because how do you know whether you're passing someone who really needed a smile that day?

 

Sometimes being uncomfortable is needed in healing, but you jab to be careful with making people nervous. If you scare them away or make ten defensive, you can lose a chance to help someone who really needs and wants help.

---

 

I used to be the same way.  Always pleasant, always kind to others whether they deserved it or not.  

What I realized when I got on my Path was that I was acting that way out of obligation.  Like many of those who share my demographics, I was expected to give away my positive emotional energy, so I did.  I've since found out how valuable that energy is, and am much more choosy about who I give it to.  That's why now I don't label myself as a 'Healer', but rather as someone who simply has healing abilities.  Healing is a just a skill for me, not the primary directive of my Path like it is for others, so I don't care if I lose the opportunity to help someone because I made them nervous.  That aspect might change down the road, but for now I fully embrace being self-centered for the first time in my life because it's allowing me to establish much-needed boundaries with humans and entities alike.

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I wouldn't say im obligated to be this way. Its a choice I make, and I don't always make it. To me, smiling seems like one of the easiest ways to make the world a better place. You get so many smiles back, I think I easily get as much out of the experience as the people I smile to!

 

I try really hard to create the type of world that I want to live in. Sometimes life will be uncomfortable, sure, but I don't want to add to that when I don't have to.

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but I've never labeled myself as a healer.  Recent events have shown me that I do have healing abilities but I couldn't do what you do, Travsha.  I've walked a Warrior's Path my entire life.  Part of that includes emergency work until the healers arrive.  Then I let the experts take over.

 

I've been thinking about this and I'm really interested in what you guys think.  I don't know if it's a gift or a curse but I never seem to tell people what they want to hear.  Need to hear - usually.  Want to hear - damn near never.  That in itself makes people uncomfortable.  I suck at platitudes and sugar coating.  Life's just too short for bullshit.

 

Believe it or not,  I actually do smile at people a lot when I'm out and about. 

 

AW - good for you about setting your boundaries.  There comes a time when we all need to.  You may not be this way forever.  It's just where you are right now.

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Sometimes what people want to hear and need to hear is the same. It might be different then what they think they deserve to hear though.

 

Numerous times, I have found myself yelling into someone's face "Do you love yourself!" Yelling it till they finally give in usually sobbing screaming "I love myself!" Back in my face... Surprising how hard it can be to get people to admit they love themselves sometimes, but extremely powerful. Deep down, they need and want it, but are scared to admit it.

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I've been thinking about this and I'm really interested in what you guys think.  I don't know if it's a gift or a curse but I never seem to tell people what they want to hear.  Need to hear - usually.  Want to hear - damn near never.  That in itself makes people uncomfortable.  I suck at platitudes and sugar coating.  Life's just too short for bullshit.

 

...................................

 

I can sure be direct and confronting, but I'm also quite interested in "speaking in code" which is a term I invented for my ability to mix brutal honesty with diplomacy, and it basically means I tell people what I want and confront them while staying subtle, seemingly polite and on the sly, either way, I feel my message gets across. 

Edited by Horne

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Guest monsnoleedra

but I've never labeled myself as a healer.  Recent events have shown me that I do have healing abilities but I couldn't do what you do, Travsha.  I've walked a Warrior's Path my entire life.  Part of that includes emergency work until the healers arrive.  Then I let the experts take over.

 

I've been thinking about this and I'm really interested in what you guys think.  I don't know if it's a gift or a curse but I never seem to tell people what they want to hear.  Need to hear - usually.  Want to hear - damn near never.  That in itself makes people uncomfortable.  I suck at platitudes and sugar coating.  Life's just too short for bullshit.

 

Believe it or not,  I actually do smile at people a lot when I'm out and about. 

 

AW - good for you about setting your boundaries.  There comes a time when we all need to.  You may not be this way forever.  It's just where you are right now.

 

 

How's the old song go...You got to be cruel to be kind in the right measures!

 

That's what I dislike especially about the white light, new agey love love love influence.  To remove a foulness you have to cut it out and burn away the residue talking nice to it or trying to pass it off as it will be alright doesn't get the job done.  Most often it just mucks up the works and makes it that much harder when they come to face that shadow aspect whether it be physical, mental or spiritual.

 

What gets me and has injured me the most is the perspective of the healer that they can take it on and heal but so seldom realize that many times it has to be taken on themselves and faced that way as well.  To become one with what they face in order to discover its limitations and purpose for we have to face not only the visible injuries but the hidden purpose and methods.  Sort of like sure you can heal the cut that is bleeding out but it does nothing to stop the poison that was a by product and is what is actually killing the person.

 

I suppose that is why, to me anyway, the healer strives to make the body whole as they understand it.  The warrior strives to make the body respond and overcome or continue to function even when it is injured.  Healing is an aspect of the warrior in that he / she also strives to make the body whole and train it beyond its limitations.  Yet we also know the body can functions and perform even while injured and that an injury holds many levels and angles of attack and influence.

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You dot always need to cut things out. Sometimes, yes. Other times, not so much. Take cancer for example - adding in "light" in the form of alkaline foods, or cancer defeating plants like Jergon Sacha can often be more effective then using nasty chemo or radiation that loosens the body. Strengthening the immune system is a great way to battle sickness, and positivity is a great way to battle pain and hurt. Light a candle and shadow recedes right?

 

Many studies show that expressing anger like punching pillows or screaming actually reinforces and leads to more anger. This is because we are habitual creatures. Creating positive habits leads to more positive emotions in most cases. The catch is that you can't repress things: repressing doesn't make anything go away. You had to acknowledge and even experience the dark stuff when it is there, but you don't need to express it or add more darkness to battle it.

 

There is actually lots of good research to back this up if you research Hebbian learning, limbic revisioning or epigenetics (I started a topic about this a while back called "Limbic Revisioning and Epigentics").

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You dot always need to cut things out. Sometimes, yes. Other times, not so much. Take cancer for example - adding in "light" in the form of alkaline foods, or cancer defeating plants like Jergon Sacha can often be more effective then using nasty chemo or radiation that loosens the body. Strengthening the immune system is a great way to battle sickness, and positivity is a great way to battle pain and hurt. Light a candle and shadow recedes right?

 

Many studies show that expressing anger like punching pillows or screaming actually reinforces and leads to more anger. This is because we are habitual creatures. Creating positive habits leads to more positive emotions in most cases. The catch is that you can't repress things: repressing doesn't make anything go away. You had to acknowledge and even experience the dark stuff when it is there, but you don't need to express it or add more darkness to battle it.

 

There is actually lots of good research to back this up if you research Hebbian learning, limbic revisioning or epigenetics (I started a topic about this a while back called "Limbic Revisioning and Epigentics").

 

 

There though your getting into the long term healing versus short term battle field healing I think.  Consider when the snake bites and passes its poison you cut and bleed to get as much out as you can then leave the pills and such for what lingers.  Same with other wounds, entry points or immediate life threatening illnesses.

 

I tend to think that is where the whole healing thing gets really hosed up for people.  A healer in one aspect has the time and ability to treat on one level where another type of healer is immediate and has to look to the short term and what is right before them.

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I did admit there are times to cut things out. Just not a lot of the time. I'm not sure if it is long term vs short term... Even with snake bites, some herbs can cure snake bites when applied to the wound (I mentioned Jergon Sacha above - it's name means fake Jergon which is a type of poisonous snake which the plant looks like and cures snake bites from).

 

I have seen a lot of immediate healing happen with love and without pain. I have seen love change peoples lives over night. I also know that sometimes difficult painful emotions or events must be experienced to be healed, and that sometimes facing fears can be real scary and difficult. Healing isn't all love and light, but love and light can do a lot to heal.

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Yeah, well, I seriously doubt that love is going to cure my blood disorder.  It's healed emotional wounds but it didn't do a damn thing when I needed duct tape until I could get stitches.

 

MonSno:  I suppose that is why, to me anyway, the healer strives to make the body whole as they understand it.  The warrior strives to make the body respond and overcome or continue to function even when it is injured.

 

 

Dude - you just nailed it!!! 

 

That's exactly what I've been doing for the last year.  Responding, overcoming, carrying on and continuing.  Wholeness?  I haven't had the time or energy for that.  Injured or not - if I didn't charlie mike - I would've held a funeral instead of a homecoming.

 

I don't know - maybe it's time to bring the healers in for me now that life seems to be settling down.

 

But even if my body was healed - I think I'd still be the same 'grumpy old man' with boobs that I am.  LOL

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Depends on the cause of your blood disorder i think. I have seen people cure epilepsy and cancer overnight, and have heard of first hand experiences curing paralysis and HIV. Emotional wounds can be exceptionally powerful, and healing then can be a powerful experience. Many things I always thought were impossible I have seen happen. Of course, I don't know the personal details of your situation though.

 

In my experience, more love is never a bad thing, and even the difficult painful types of healing can be done out of love.

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How are you at distance healing or are you more of a hands on kinda guy?

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I agree with travsha, when a healing is done with a lot of love I feel that the outcome of a healing is much better. I do a lot of healing it's one of my stronger points in my Craft. I think the ability to heal the ones you care about is one of the greatest things of being a witch! :smile:

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I prefer hands on, but am consistently surprised by the results doing distance work. However, I have two sides to my healing practice: energy work, and plant work. The plants are way better healers then I am, and when I mention miraculous results, that is usually from plants. Of course, I could also coach you on how to prepare plant medicines for yourself, but only if it is something you feel comfortable with. I consider the plants to all be shamans. They work especially well, because they can show you first hand what causes your illness, and how to fix it (the decision to heal is still up to you though).

 

My new book which I hope to have ready for print within the week is all about how to work with plants based on my personal practice. (I can send you a PDF when it's done if you like).

 

For really serious healing, I recommend ceremony in person, or I am also taking a small group to Peru this summer to work with my main shaman (she lives by Cusco and Machu Pichu).

 

I have a feeling that if we did energy work, it would reduce your symptoms, but not provide a permanent fix. Maybe it would, but I would feel more confident with getting better results from plants, because you make this seem like a pretty serious issue that is heavily tied to you physically and emotionally. Like I said before - plants are way better healers then I am.

 

If you feel interested in any of this, I could give you lots more info, send you the book soon, take you to Peru or give you my shamans contact, or whatever else you might like.

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---

Because making the average person I come into contact with feel nervous isn't something that truly bothers me, I'm at the point in my Journey that I don't feel it's necessary to change my behavior simply to accommodate others' sense of wellbeing.

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I hope it's okay to partially quote previous posts. I wish I had your attitude. Making people nervous really, really bothers me. People get very nervous around me when I'm myself. I try to do muggle drag. I'm a plump middle-aged woman who dresses frumpy. I have a lot of black in my wardrobe, but I don't dress spooky or wear a pentacle. But my own nervousness when trying to "pass" also makes people nervous. I try to play the part as well as I can, but sometimes I talk too much.

 

Unfortunately it seems the people I make the most nervous are other witches. I remember at a witch shop I was buying a votive candle, and the clerk was so nervous around me she gripped the candle too hard and the glass container shattered in her hand. And then I was traveling with my mom in Florida, and she was stretching herself, trying to understand me coming out of the broom closet. So we visited a spiritualist town. We went into the town diner for lunch, and there was a man sitting alone at a table. When we walked in, he looked at me totally terrified, and got up quickly and left the diner. I just feel like a big freak.

 

I'm not sure what to do. Maybe I should look into magic to fix this, because it's affecting my social life, modify a glamor spell. I do have a few witch friends who aren't scared of me, and my children and partner are fine with me, and animals like me.

Edited by Marrena

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---------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 

I hope it's okay to partially quote previous posts. I wish I had your attitude. Making people nervous really, really bothers me. People get very nervous around me when I'm myself. I try to do muggle drag. I'm a plump middle-aged woman who dresses frumpy. I have a lot of black in my wardrobe, but I don't dress spooky or wear a pentacle. But my own nervousness when trying to "pass" also makes people nervous. I try to play the part as well as I can, but sometimes I talk too much.

 

Unfortunately it seems the people I make the most nervous are other witches. I remember at a witch shop I was buying a votive candle, and the clerk was so nervous around me she gripped the candle too hard and the glass container shattered in her hand. And then I was traveling with my mom in Florida, and she was stretching herself, trying to understand me coming out of the broom closet. So we visited a spiritualist town. We went into the town diner for lunch, and there was a man sitting alone at a table. When we walked in, he looked at me totally terrified, and got up quickly and left the diner. I just feel like a big freak.

 

I'm not sure what to do. Maybe I should look into magic to fix this, because it's affecting my social life, modify a glamor spell. I do have a few witch friends who aren't scared of me, and my children and partner are fine with me, and animals like me.

Of course I only know what I read here, but perhaps divination would help you figure out the root of this problem, or how to solve it. I find witches to often be excellent at projection, maybe this is a case of sending your emotions to others.

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For me it seems that people become less nervous now then before I started.

Probably because I am more balanced now and I don't act out my anger

towards the world and society in the same obvious way anymore.

 

With that said...I have also been less interested in smoothing over things

at the same time. Nowadays I think through things before I say anything

(why waste energy on nonsense) If I say something I mean it, and then people

can like it or not. Sometimes I decide not to speak my mind. But I am not going

to smooth over anything i said unless there is very much gain in it.

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Thats a great point Wex, not the psycological blame type of projection, but "pushing" thoughts and feelings unintentionally into others. Lately, this is happening more and more to me. And its been bizarre adjusting to that, which is an understatment (have you ever been in a fight with someone only to realize you are arguing with yourself? Thats confusing for everyone. "I dont know why I said that, I never felt that way, but you are right to feel this way about xyz"). As far as nervousness in others, I havent noticed that. I have been told I am intimidating for other reasons. I am outspoken with a decent vocabulary and quick wit (not to toot my own horn, but toot toot). I think those sorts of things are more common in communities like this one, because we are comfortable finding our own way and trusting ourselves, which is scary to the majority that subscribe to the idea that there is an authority for everything, and if your veiw differs from that authority (society, reality consensus, religious leaders or whatever else) then you are inherently wrong minded.

 

Anyway, recently I have noticed my SO noticing things. He moved in a while back and I am not "out", but I do not keep everything hidden away, what is out can be explained away if asked....but he avoids asking. I watched him checking out the area I make and burn incense, there are vials of resins, a flat stone for burning, and several crystals, ground eggshells for various things. He saw my living moss triskele on the fence I made where I did a burial ritual for my sons placenta (that my son even told him a little about, no follow up questions) He is curious as fuck, but will not ask. He watches me collect weird things on hikes, and doesnt ask. He watches me grinding up strange herbs and doesnt ask. I talk somewhat openly about my dream work, about only some of the herbs and techniques I use. Thats the extent of it(and I dont call it dreamwork, just lucid dreaming which is a very partial picture). I dont know if he doesnt ask because he gets the vibe he shouldnt (am I pushing that out? dunno!), or that its something I like to have be mine and mine only, or because he doesnt want to know the nature of it. If he did ask, Im not sure if I would be honest or not. Probably not entirely. He needs to get his toes wet on his own before I offer up anything voluntarily. I dont think it makes him nervous neccesarily, but uncomfortable because he doesnt believe in it, or has preconceived notions about what it is and what its about.

 

editted for clarity.

Edited by CailinRua
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Of course I only know what I read here, but perhaps divination would help you figure out the root of this problem, or how to solve it. I find witches to often be excellent at projection, maybe this is a case of sending your emotions to others.

_____________________________________________________________________________________________

I will give it a try. I don't think it's projection because I'm not scared of people. Unless maybe you mean that because so many people have been afraid of me in the past, and I don't like that, that I'm scared it will happen again with the new people and I'm sending that fear into them?

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