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Do you make others nervous since you began practicing?


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#21 Lilitia

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Posted 02 November 2014 - 07:19 PM

Oh thank you for that old good one monsnoleedra...He Who Knows says not. There is an old saying my dad's father used to tell me which is similar, "He who knows the least talks the most." I have tried to abide by that, and as such, I am pretty close-mouthed. I try not to draw attention my way, but somehow people look, stare, and whisper. If for some reason I have to interact with someone, a teller at the bank, a co-worker, a cashier, I have found that I am met with nervous laughter and averted eyes.  I freak people out, no question.  The kids I work with love me, and that part of the thread responses I truly relate with as well. 

 

For a long time I just thought it was my height that made people scared.  I am exceptionally tall for a woman, and have always been tall.  My son is the same and has a similar affect on people. At age 5 he reached 4'6'', much like myself.  By the time I was 12, I was 5'10'', and still had another 3 inches before I stopped growing.  About the first year of high school when other kids started catching up to me i realized that it was not just my size but the affect I had on people was attributed to something entirely different.  The more I practiced, the more I learned and stronger my abilities became the stranger people acted around me.  I have had some weird times at Texas Hold Em tournaments! 

 

Now that I am older and have not only matured as a person (wife, mother, witch...all the roles that one fulfills as they age can pile up into a mountain), but have matured as a practitioner and witch, I have noticed the affect to be much more pronounced. I don't know if anyone else has noticed this but it seems to me that the weaker, or more closed, the mind of the person with whom I am interacting, the more likely they are to become mealy-mouthed and uncomfortable.  The general sheeple of such organizations as the pentecostal or evangelical Christian churches that are so prevalent in my area are the ones to whom I am referring...they bristle at my presence.  It seems like the bank tellers, etc. that I have to interact with are all of said religious bent also, making it uncomfortable (for them) when I decide to go out and run errands to say the least.

 

Thanks a lot for starting this thread ArcticWitch, I had wondered for a long time if I was the only one in the world who felt this way, or if it was some regional thing (Bible belt and all that).  Knowing that so many others on similar paths have experienced this lets me know that is more universal, which is somehow comforting.


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#22 travsha

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Posted 02 November 2014 - 11:16 PM

I have found that my practice makes it easier to relate to others. I think this is because my practice focuses on healing, and since healing starts with the self and is usually based in compassion, caring and empathy, those qualities help me connect more with others. I think if my practice was pushing me away from community, then I am working my practice incorrectly somehow.... Because in many ways a healer is a servant to the community. My experience may be different then others because of the healing focus though..
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#23 ArcticWitch

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Posted 03 November 2014 - 12:32 AM

I have found that my practice makes it easier to relate to others. I think this is because my practice focuses on healing, and since healing starts with the self and is usually based in compassion, caring and empathy, those qualities help me connect more with others. I think if my practice was pushing me away from community, then I am working my practice incorrectly somehow.... Because in many ways a healer is a servant to the community. My experience may be different then others because of the healing focus though..

---

I do have strong healing abilities, but I have to consciously "flip the switch" on that capacity to have a healing presence/energy with living things around me (people, animals, plants).  When I want or feel the need to connect with others, I do indeed feel that I'm able to do so much more effectively since I started on my Path.  But my new[ish] "default mode" is what appears to be making people uncomfortable.  Because making the average person I come into contact with feel nervous isn't something that truly bothers me, I'm at the point in my Journey that I don't feel it's necessary to change my behavior simply to accommodate others' sense of wellbeing.  An alternative interpretation is that making people uncomfortable can be healing in itself, because perhaps it will prompt them to evaluate themselves as to the reasons someone (like me, or anyone else) would make them feel that way- and inspire some positive growth. :)

 

As always, you've certainly given me some food for thought, travsha!


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#24 Christine

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Posted 05 November 2014 - 11:32 PM

Nope.

I have always made people feel nervous and unsettled. Must be my charming smile.


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#25 travsha

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Posted 06 November 2014 - 04:02 AM

People usually say they feel comforted by me... Which I like.

When I was younger, I used to be more rebellious and punked out - freaked way more people out back then. Seems the more I practice, the more ease I have relating to others though. I take that as a good sign my practice is moving in the right direction. Imagine a healer who made everyone uncomfortable? That wouldn't work!

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#26 travsha

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Posted 06 November 2014 - 09:20 AM

I got confused with that last post - using my phone, I missed my old post I made here... How silly of me!

ArcticWitch - the ability to switch between different modes of operating is a good skill. Healing wise, I try to always be in healing mode, and sometimes this does involve making other uncomfortable. Usually I do this more on purpose then by accident though - a little gentle prodding to challenge them and push them. Asking hard questions that challenge their current way of thinking, or convincing them to face a fear.

I would say my default more is comforting, and sometimes I switch to teaching through unbalancing. Usually the more difficult cases are the ones that need the most unbalancing. Unbalancing can sometimes force people to create a new balance - hopefully a more healthy one!

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#27 RoseRed

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Posted 06 November 2014 - 01:51 PM

Imagine a healer who made everyone uncomfortable? That wouldn't work!

 

 

 

I think you would be surprised. 

 

Granted, that's not for healing of the physical body but it can and does work for healing on a soul level.


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#28 Solanaceae

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Posted 06 November 2014 - 04:27 PM

It was a long time ago that I started practicing. I was about 15, so it is hard to say if it was that or something else, like the fact that I dressed outrageously and tried to get a rise out of people like many teens do. It is true that I still make people feel nervous (on first impression anyway). I can't say I dress 'witchy' really, but I still don't look or dress very conventionally either.


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#29 travsha

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Posted 06 November 2014 - 07:11 PM

RR- usually the people I work with need healing on both levels at once. Many have also had too many poor experiences with doctors who couldn't help them, or just made things worst, and some have also dealt with sketchy "healers" before they found me. With the type of ceremony I do, they probably wouldn't wouldn't even agree to the ceremony if I made them comfortable. Especially in plant ceremonies - the plant will show them everything they don't want to see, and that can be difficult, so having a comforting guide can be very important.

Of course - it's also important with massage too! Imagine getting naked and letting someone touch you if they made you uncomfortable! Scary!

I find a lot of people spend their whole life being uncomfortable... They are uncomfortable being themselves, facing their own emotions, facing traumas they repressed, overly stressed, paranoid with a threat bias.... Many of my clients also have depression, anxiety or PTSD, or are tape victims who normally don't trust men... Sometimes just being with someone who calms them is a great aid - I don't see myself as someone who only works on their clients. I smile at everyone walkin down the street, because how do you know whether you're passing someone who really needed a smile that day?

Sometimes being uncomfortable is needed in healing, but you jab to be careful with making people nervous. If you scare them away or make ten defensive, you can lose a chance to help someone who really needs and wants help.

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#30 ArcticWitch

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Posted 06 November 2014 - 07:34 PM

 I don't see myself as someone who only works on their clients. I smile at everyone walkin down the street, because how do you know whether you're passing someone who really needed a smile that day?

Sometimes being uncomfortable is needed in healing, but you jab to be careful with making people nervous. If you scare them away or make ten defensive, you can lose a chance to help someone who really needs and wants help.

---

 

I used to be the same way.  Always pleasant, always kind to others whether they deserved it or not.  

What I realized when I got on my Path was that I was acting that way out of obligation.  Like many of those who share my demographics, I was expected to give away my positive emotional energy, so I did.  I've since found out how valuable that energy is, and am much more choosy about who I give it to.  That's why now I don't label myself as a 'Healer', but rather as someone who simply has healing abilities.  Healing is a just a skill for me, not the primary directive of my Path like it is for others, so I don't care if I lose the opportunity to help someone because I made them nervous.  That aspect might change down the road, but for now I fully embrace being self-centered for the first time in my life because it's allowing me to establish much-needed boundaries with humans and entities alike.


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#31 travsha

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Posted 06 November 2014 - 08:39 PM

I wouldn't say im obligated to be this way. Its a choice I make, and I don't always make it. To me, smiling seems like one of the easiest ways to make the world a better place. You get so many smiles back, I think I easily get as much out of the experience as the people I smile to!

I try really hard to create the type of world that I want to live in. Sometimes life will be uncomfortable, sure, but I don't want to add to that when I don't have to.

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#32 RoseRed

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Posted 06 November 2014 - 09:47 PM

but I've never labeled myself as a healer.  Recent events have shown me that I do have healing abilities but I couldn't do what you do, Travsha.  I've walked a Warrior's Path my entire life.  Part of that includes emergency work until the healers arrive.  Then I let the experts take over.

 

I've been thinking about this and I'm really interested in what you guys think.  I don't know if it's a gift or a curse but I never seem to tell people what they want to hear.  Need to hear - usually.  Want to hear - damn near never.  That in itself makes people uncomfortable.  I suck at platitudes and sugar coating.  Life's just too short for bullshit.

 

Believe it or not,  I actually do smile at people a lot when I'm out and about. 

 

AW - good for you about setting your boundaries.  There comes a time when we all need to.  You may not be this way forever.  It's just where you are right now.


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#33 travsha

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Posted 06 November 2014 - 10:07 PM

Sometimes what people want to hear and need to hear is the same. It might be different then what they think they deserve to hear though.

Numerous times, I have found myself yelling into someone's face "Do you love yourself!" Yelling it till they finally give in usually sobbing screaming "I love myself!" Back in my face... Surprising how hard it can be to get people to admit they love themselves sometimes, but extremely powerful. Deep down, they need and want it, but are scared to admit it.

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#34 RoseRed

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Posted 06 November 2014 - 10:13 PM

That is one hell of an image in my head.


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#35 Horne

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Posted 06 November 2014 - 10:32 PM

 

 

I've been thinking about this and I'm really interested in what you guys think.  I don't know if it's a gift or a curse but I never seem to tell people what they want to hear.  Need to hear - usually.  Want to hear - damn near never.  That in itself makes people uncomfortable.  I suck at platitudes and sugar coating.  Life's just too short for bullshit.

 

...................................

 

I can sure be direct and confronting, but I'm also quite interested in "speaking in code" which is a term I invented for my ability to mix brutal honesty with diplomacy, and it basically means I tell people what I want and confront them while staying subtle, seemingly polite and on the sly, either way, I feel my message gets across. 


Edited by Horne, 06 November 2014 - 10:32 PM.

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#36 Guest_monsnoleedra_*

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Posted 06 November 2014 - 10:46 PM

but I've never labeled myself as a healer.  Recent events have shown me that I do have healing abilities but I couldn't do what you do, Travsha.  I've walked a Warrior's Path my entire life.  Part of that includes emergency work until the healers arrive.  Then I let the experts take over.

 

I've been thinking about this and I'm really interested in what you guys think.  I don't know if it's a gift or a curse but I never seem to tell people what they want to hear.  Need to hear - usually.  Want to hear - damn near never.  That in itself makes people uncomfortable.  I suck at platitudes and sugar coating.  Life's just too short for bullshit.

 

Believe it or not,  I actually do smile at people a lot when I'm out and about. 

 

AW - good for you about setting your boundaries.  There comes a time when we all need to.  You may not be this way forever.  It's just where you are right now.

 

 

How's the old song go...You got to be cruel to be kind in the right measures!

 

That's what I dislike especially about the white light, new agey love love love influence.  To remove a foulness you have to cut it out and burn away the residue talking nice to it or trying to pass it off as it will be alright doesn't get the job done.  Most often it just mucks up the works and makes it that much harder when they come to face that shadow aspect whether it be physical, mental or spiritual.

 

What gets me and has injured me the most is the perspective of the healer that they can take it on and heal but so seldom realize that many times it has to be taken on themselves and faced that way as well.  To become one with what they face in order to discover its limitations and purpose for we have to face not only the visible injuries but the hidden purpose and methods.  Sort of like sure you can heal the cut that is bleeding out but it does nothing to stop the poison that was a by product and is what is actually killing the person.

 

I suppose that is why, to me anyway, the healer strives to make the body whole as they understand it.  The warrior strives to make the body respond and overcome or continue to function even when it is injured.  Healing is an aspect of the warrior in that he / she also strives to make the body whole and train it beyond its limitations.  Yet we also know the body can functions and perform even while injured and that an injury holds many levels and angles of attack and influence.


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#37 travsha

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Posted 06 November 2014 - 10:57 PM

You dot always need to cut things out. Sometimes, yes. Other times, not so much. Take cancer for example - adding in "light" in the form of alkaline foods, or cancer defeating plants like Jergon Sacha can often be more effective then using nasty chemo or radiation that loosens the body. Strengthening the immune system is a great way to battle sickness, and positivity is a great way to battle pain and hurt. Light a candle and shadow recedes right?

Many studies show that expressing anger like punching pillows or screaming actually reinforces and leads to more anger. This is because we are habitual creatures. Creating positive habits leads to more positive emotions in most cases. The catch is that you can't repress things: repressing doesn't make anything go away. You had to acknowledge and even experience the dark stuff when it is there, but you don't need to express it or add more darkness to battle it.

There is actually lots of good research to back this up if you research Hebbian learning, limbic revisioning or epigenetics (I started a topic about this a while back called "Limbic Revisioning and Epigentics").

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Posted 06 November 2014 - 11:24 PM

You dot always need to cut things out. Sometimes, yes. Other times, not so much. Take cancer for example - adding in "light" in the form of alkaline foods, or cancer defeating plants like Jergon Sacha can often be more effective then using nasty chemo or radiation that loosens the body. Strengthening the immune system is a great way to battle sickness, and positivity is a great way to battle pain and hurt. Light a candle and shadow recedes right?

Many studies show that expressing anger like punching pillows or screaming actually reinforces and leads to more anger. This is because we are habitual creatures. Creating positive habits leads to more positive emotions in most cases. The catch is that you can't repress things: repressing doesn't make anything go away. You had to acknowledge and even experience the dark stuff when it is there, but you don't need to express it or add more darkness to battle it.

There is actually lots of good research to back this up if you research Hebbian learning, limbic revisioning or epigenetics (I started a topic about this a while back called "Limbic Revisioning and Epigentics").

 

 

There though your getting into the long term healing versus short term battle field healing I think.  Consider when the snake bites and passes its poison you cut and bleed to get as much out as you can then leave the pills and such for what lingers.  Same with other wounds, entry points or immediate life threatening illnesses.

 

I tend to think that is where the whole healing thing gets really hosed up for people.  A healer in one aspect has the time and ability to treat on one level where another type of healer is immediate and has to look to the short term and what is right before them.


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#39 travsha

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Posted 06 November 2014 - 11:48 PM

I did admit there are times to cut things out. Just not a lot of the time. I'm not sure if it is long term vs short term... Even with snake bites, some herbs can cure snake bites when applied to the wound (I mentioned Jergon Sacha above - it's name means fake Jergon which is a type of poisonous snake which the plant looks like and cures snake bites from).

I have seen a lot of immediate healing happen with love and without pain. I have seen love change peoples lives over night. I also know that sometimes difficult painful emotions or events must be experienced to be healed, and that sometimes facing fears can be real scary and difficult. Healing isn't all love and light, but love and light can do a lot to heal.

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#40 RoseRed

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Posted 07 November 2014 - 12:43 AM

Yeah, well, I seriously doubt that love is going to cure my blood disorder.  It's healed emotional wounds but it didn't do a damn thing when I needed duct tape until I could get stitches.

 

MonSno:  I suppose that is why, to me anyway, the healer strives to make the body whole as they understand it.  The warrior strives to make the body respond and overcome or continue to function even when it is injured.

 

 

Dude - you just nailed it!!! 

 

That's exactly what I've been doing for the last year.  Responding, overcoming, carrying on and continuing.  Wholeness?  I haven't had the time or energy for that.  Injured or not - if I didn't charlie mike - I would've held a funeral instead of a homecoming.

 

I don't know - maybe it's time to bring the healers in for me now that life seems to be settling down.

 

But even if my body was healed - I think I'd still be the same 'grumpy old man' with boobs that I am.  LOL


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