Posted 19 October 2015 - 12:31 AM
Transitioning is a difficult experience for some. Those who died young or suddenly or both seem to have a harder time adjusting, ime.
I've found it best to just keep saying it, until they understand. Calmly.
Some who truly believed in life that loved ones, Christ, or whomever would be there to greet them is often a 'reason' they use to argue against their not being 'dead'. This can be source of anguish and anger too... to accept they are 'stuck' with you (me)...lol... and not 72 virgins is a mindfuck for them.
Ask their name. it's always nice to know who you are talking to. Hearing ones name repeatedly has a calming affect.
One could try to summon a family member of theirs to show up take the reins, and this idea isn't as far fetched as it seems.
Some still can feel their physical bodies --- so that sensation is extremely disorientating while trying to accept they are 'dead' since they might only be 10 minutes or less past their expiration. Pay close attention to the body part/parts they reference. Many times it's a clue. In this case, you ask them hand you a nearby item (a book, TV remote, cup of tea). This won't work for them, of course, but it will drive the point home.
You can try to use humor... something like, Yeah, and I'm a crazy bitch stuck here talking to you...
You can remind them that they are free to go and they no longer have an ass for the door it hit them on.... but something like this is only appropriate if you're already verbally sparing back and forth in a non-aggressive banter. Some are cool like that.
You could suggest that they return to where they came from -- so they can 'see' for themselves, but that's not always a great idea... kids and victims of violence really don't need to see that, but it could be effective for some if they agree to journey back. It could be a cold slap to the face that they need or it could be like putting gasoline on a fire. Here's where being able to size-up a situation really comes in handy. Once they are gone, if you don't want them back, do what you need to do to ensure they won't return.
Some have no memory of how/when they've passed, so again, they are in 'shock'... so-to-speak. I find it most compassionate to just listen and reply to them calmly. As they talk, question, rage... they will eventually see the spiral of their thoughts, all coming back to the same question -- to which death is the answer.
Also, some have every right to angry. You could ask them why this is. Listen. Really listen to their reply. Try to be compassionate. People are murdered, beaten, betrayed every day.
You just might be able to help them.
Let's face it, they came to YOU. There's probably a good reason for this.
To encourage their new 'talents' you could ask them about something they've always wanted to do, a person they've always wanted to meet, a place they'd always wanted to visit. Remind them that they can do it now, since they're freed of all physical, earthly restrictions. This could be the spark they need to try out their new-found freedom. It's kind of cool, actually.
If nothing else, try to remember this: You are only one heartbeat away from transition. This WILL be you one day. How would you want to treated?
In the end, sometimes a forceful GO !!! command is all one can do... but this is rarely necessary.
The difference between Medicine and Poison is the Dose.
I Love you as certain Dark Things are to be Loved,
In Secret, Between the Shadow and the Soul.
- Pablo Neruda