Jump to content

When a witch's Path is tested, proven, and validated


ArcticWitch

Recommended Posts

I just published a blog post about my current situation, and it naturally prompted curiosity about other members' experiences. 

 

Many here have conveyed that they've always felt different, that they exhibited certain skills and Talents that exceeded the mundane- and once they answered the call to their Path, they finally had a platform with which to develop and beneficially utilize their Talents.  I know I can't be the only one here who has seen the Path as a rich journey, filled with small milestones and awe-inspiring achievements that offer many different flavors and affectations of validation.  There's the first spell that- surprise!- actually worked exactly as intended.  Then there's the changes- subtle at first- in both how we perceive the world, and how it perceives us.  There's the navigating through uncharted waters, perhaps with books or perhaps with mentors (living or spirit), learning from mistakes and reveling in successes. 

 

Then along comes a formidable test- posed either by the magical or mundane world- that for me fertilized the tiniest seed of doubt regarding a fledgling witchy identity into a hardy tree of hesitation.  It's the kind of situation that decimates magical comfort zones (ironic, I know) and establishes a scenario where a witch has to either accept the challenge, or go back to being a student and armchair practitioner.

 

My question is a bit deeper than the common query "When did you know you were a witch?"  Rather, I ask: "Was there a turning point in your Path when you had complete faith in your Talents, and maintained confidence in your ability to practice magic in even the least-ideal of circumstances?"  

 

(I'm not referring to the attainment of perfection or flawless results in workings, nor am I discussing the initial confirmation early on a Path of whether one is a witch or not; I'm talking about a situation- whether by the witch's own creation or not- that the witch cannot avoid and validates their Path either way.)

Link to comment
Share on other sites

What a timely discussion!

 

As some people here know (because I complain so much! :tongue:) I've recently gone through my first Trial, I guess it could be called. I do not know if I am back to civilization yet but I am currently at a resting point.

 

I will say that yes, for myself, there was a turning point. And it SUCKED. It was the worst, most awful, mentally devastating and fearful experience of my life.

 

Now for me, that is not saying a whole lot. I have had an easy life and I have only faced basic hardships that most people go through. And I expect that things I will face in the future will be much, much worse.

 

 

Then along comes a formidable test- posed either by the magical or mundane world- that for me fertilized the tiniest seed of doubt regarding a fledgling witchy identity into a hardy tree of hesitation.  It's the kind of situation that decimates magical comfort zones (ironic, I know) and establishes a scenario where a witch has to either accept the challenge, or go back to being a student and armchair practitioner.

 

I felt rather that I was in a doubt forest. I felt very broken, I even doubted my sanity. I lost faith in myself, which is something I never care to do again. It was especially tough because when I caught a glimpse of what being a "real witch" was like, I did not want that for myself at all. I felt horribly trapped, because I knew I could never give up my craft, but I really didn't like what I saw ahead of me either.

 

In the thread I made about the dangers facing new witches, I mentioned part of my struggle was that I didn't want to face reality. So I think very much my comfort zone was that soft happy reality I surrounded myself with, and the turning point was when I had my foundation broken and I had to swim to the surface of the real world.

 

I like to think that such situations are noble, exciting, or enlightening. As if a light bulb would go off in my head, I would ascend to the sky with a hallelujah chorus, and get a gold star! But it wasn't a sudden, glorious moment when I found myself again. It was tedious, hard-going work to chop down the forest and realize that I never lost myself in the first place, I just lost the foundations of a false reality.

 

Now I feel affirmed. I didn't feel strong and there was no single point I can think of when I had a great realization of "yeah, I can do this no problem!" Instead I had a lot of "fuck it, let's get this done" moments. Looking back, there was a single moment where I said "I'm in this for the long haul and I know I can come out on top," but that didn't make me feel better or powerful. Maybe that was a turning point for me, but it didn't immediately get better after that. I still had to get back home.

 

I suppose I could also say that I feel validated. I have had a lot of Truths about myself reaffirmed. But the entire experience was exhausting, and I'm not so sure I'm totally free of it yet. So from my perspective, I think I understand what you speak of. Back on dry land I can appreciate how far I've come but it still was not very fun getting here.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I very much smiled when I saw the deeper meaning of your question! 

 

I don't believe that 'turning point' would be the correct term... I've always had the ability to tap into whatever I felt however I think it is how you are exposed the information. Some google wiccan/witchcraft and all of a sudden, they seem to think they can cast a charm and gain more money therefore they are now a witch. I believe it is knowing all along that there is something within. I don't think people need to wait to cast their first spell in order to gain the status of being a witch. I rarely do spells but my emotional connection with the elements have always been there. 

 

The biggest question to ask in this discussion, what defines the label of the path? Every answer would be different because we all have such different talents, abilities and attitudes towards the meaning of being a traditional witch. I believe I am one of the youngest on this forum and I grew up in a different era to what most witnessed in their lifetime and I envision that my turning point and craft is completely different to others. 

 

Also, if I hear another person say "I watched Buffy and Charmed and thought I can do that - that was when I knew" then I will smack them. Twats. 

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Also, if I hear another person say "I watched Buffy and Charmed and thought I can do that - that was when I knew" then I will smack them. Twats. 

 

:rofl: I used this exact example in my first fiction book.

 

I don't think it's just the Craft...to me, there is always a "defining moment" when you realize something profound about yourself.  Once you realize whatever it is, it gives you confidence to move forward in that particular area.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

It was especially tough because when I caught a glimpse of what being a "real witch" was like, I did not want that for myself at all. I felt horribly trapped, because I knew I could never give up my craft, but I really didn't like what I saw ahead of me either.

 

Even though I feel affirmed (thanks for using that word later in your post, by the way- much better descriptive of what I was trying to convey), I also realize that my only real challenge so far has been mundane.  Even armed with self-affirmation, I can still see myself experience the same feelings you did, Wex, when confronted with my first magical/Otherworld challenge.

 

I don't believe that 'turning point' would be the correct term... I've always had the ability to tap into whatever I felt however I think it is how you are exposed the information. 

---

The biggest question to ask in this discussion, what defines the label of the path? Every answer would be different because we all have such different talents, abilities and attitudes towards the meaning of being a traditional witch.

 

You're right, "turning point" isn't the right word.  In my case, it felt like as if the partial connection to that inner flame finally became a full connection, the unproven courage transitioned into earned confidence.

 

I don't think it's just the Craft...to me, there is always a "defining moment" when you realize something profound about yourself.  Once you realize whatever it is, it gives you confidence to move forward in that particular area.

 

What has surprised so much on my Path's journey is that 'profound experience' has been completely redefined.  When trying (unsuccessfully) to live a mundane life, my profound moments were momentous, abrupt, "in-your-face" occasions- all that was missing was a full orchestra playing an epic soundtrack.  But- for me, anyway- profound experiences in witchcraft are far more layered, take longer to navigate through, are a collection of critical revelations rather than a single "big" truth, and act as a catalyst for a slew of progressive experiences in the future.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

×
×
  • Create New...