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They walk amoung us

Cam

By Cam
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Cam

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HELLO, OPERATOR

 

 

 

ANOTHER CHAPTER OF "THEY WALK AMONG US AND

 

REPRODUCE!!

 

Actual call center conversations!

 

 

 

Customer:     'I've been calling 700-1000 for two days and can't get through;         can you help?'

Operator:      'Where did you get that number, sir?'

Customer:     'It's on the door of your business.'

Operator:      'Sir, those are the hours that we are open.'

 

----------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Samsung Electronics

 

 

Caller:          'Can you give me the telephone number for Jack?'

Operator:     'I'm sorry, sir, I don't understand who you are talking about.'

Caller:          'On page 1, section 5, of the user guide it clearly states        that I need to unplug the fax machine from the AC wall  socket and telephone Jack before cleaning. Now, can you give me the number for Jack?'

Operator:      'I think it means the telephone plug on the wall.'

 

----------------------------------------------------------------------

 

RAC Motoring Services

 

 

Caller:         'Does your European Breakdown Policy cover me when I

 

                     am traveling in Australia ?'

Operator:    'Does the policy name give you a clue?'

 

----------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Caller (enquiring about legal requirements while traveling in Europe)

'If I register my car in France, and then take it to England, do I have to change the steering wheel to the other side of the car?'

 

----------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Directory Enquiries

 

 

Caller:       'I'd like the number of the Argo Fish Bar, please'

Operator: 'I'm sorry, there's no listing. Are you sure that the spelling is      correct?'

Caller: 'Well, it used to be called the Bargo Fish Bar but the 'B' fell off.'

 

----------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Then there was the caller who asked for a knitwear company in Woven.

Operator:        'Woven? Are you sure?'

Caller:             'Yes.. That's what it says on the label --

 

                         Woven in Scotland ...'

 

----------------------------------------------------------------------

 

On another occasion, a man making heavy breathing sounds from a

 

phone box told a worried operator: 'I haven't got a pen, so I'm

 

steaming up the window to write the number on.'

 

----------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Tech Support:      'I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop.'

Customer:             'OK..'

Tech Support:      'Did you get a pop-up menu?'

Customer:             'No.'

Tech Support:      'OK. Right-Click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?'

Customer:             'No.'

Tech Support:      'OK, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up

 

                               until this point?'

Customer:            'Sure. You told me to write 'click' and I wrote 'click'.'

 

----------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Tech Support:      'OK. At the bottom left hand side of your screen,

 

                               can you see the 'OK' button displayed?'

 

Customer:             'Wow! How can you see my screen from there?'

 

----------------------------------------------------------------------

 

Caller:  'I deleted a file from my PC last week and I just realized that I

 

need it.  So, if I turn my system clock back two weeks will I get my 

 

file back again?'

 

----------------------------------------------------------------------

 

This has to be one of the funniest things in a long time. I think this guy should have been promoted, not fired. This is a true story from the WordPerfect Helpline, which was transcribed from a recording

 

monitoring the customer care department..............

Needless to say the Help Desk employee was fired; however, he/she is currently suing the WordPerfect organization for 'Termination without Cause.'

 

Actual dialogue of a former WordPerfect Customer Support employee.

(Now I know why they record these conversations!):

 

Operator:         'Ridge Hall, computer assistance; may I help you?'

Caller:              'Yes, well, I'm having trouble with WordPerfect .'

Operator:         'What sort of trouble?'

Caller:              'Well, I was just typing along, and all of a sudden the words               went away.'

Operator:         'Went away?'

Caller:              'They disappeared'

Operator:         'Hmm. So what does your screen look like now?'

Caller:              'Nothing.'

Operator:         'Nothing??'

Caller:              'It's blank; it won't accept anything when I type.'

Operator:         'Are you still in WordPerfect, or did you get out?'

Caller:              'How do I tell?'

Operator:        'Can you see the 'C: prompt' on the screen?'

Caller:              'What's a sea-prompt?'

Operator:         'Never mind, can you move your cursor around the

 

                          screen?'

Caller:              'There isn't any cursor; I told you, it won't accept                       anything I type.'

Operator:         'Does your monitor have a power indicator?'

Caller:              'What's a monitor?'

Operator:         'It's the thing with the screen on it that looks like a TV.

                         Does it have a little light that tells you when it's on?'

Caller:               'I don't know.'

Operator:          'Well, then look on the back of the monitor and find

 

                        where the power cord goes into it. Can you see that??'

Caller:              'Yes, I think so.'

Opera tor:         'Great. Follow the cord to the plug, and tell me if it's

                         plugged into the wall..

Caller:              'Yes, it is.'

Operator:         'When you were behind the monitor, did you notice that

                         there were two cables plugged into the back of it, not                     just  one? '

Caller:               'No.'

Operator:          'Well, there are. I need you to look back there again

 

                          and find the other cable.'

Caller:               'Okay, here it is.'

Operator:          'Follow it for me, and tell me if it's plugged securely

 

                           into the back of your computer..'

Caller:               'I can't reach.'

Operator:          'OK. Well, can you see if it is?'

Caller:               'No...'

Operator:          'Even if you maybe put your knee on something and

 

                          lean way over?'

Caller:               'Well, it's not because I don't have the right angle -- it's                     because it's dark.'

Operator:          'Dark?'

Caller:               'Yes - the office light is off, and the only light I have is

                          coming in from the window.'

Operator:         'Well, turn on the office light then.'

Caller:              'I can't..'

Operator:         'No? Why not?'

Caller:              'Because there's a power failure.'

Operator:         'A power .... A power failure?  Aha. Okay, we've got it  

                          licked now.  Do you still have the boxes and manuals

 

                          and packing stuff that your computer came in?'

Caller:              'Well, yes, I keep them in the closet..'

Operator:         'Good. Go get them, and unplug your system and pack 

 

                          it up just like it was when you got it. Then take it back

 

                          to the store you bought it from.'

Caller:              'Really? Is it that bad?'

Operator:         'Yes, I'm afraid it is.'

Caller:               'Well, all right then, I suppose. What do I tell them?'

Operator:          'Tell them you're too damned stupid to  own a computer!'

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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Gramayr Cat Rank

Gramayr

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The last one is a classic, read it a few years ago and still makes me laugh.

 

There are a few from Apple customer care (can't look for them at the mo), like 'my cup holder is broken..' (disk tray) and a family who evacuated their home because a picture of a bomb came up on their screen.

 

I'm afraid there are people out there who are that thick..

 

Might have mentioned one young lass who was told if you eat meat on good friday you die - she went white and started panicking as she'd fed her toddler meat... Also I convinced her that Carling Black Label lager was made from carlins (which are split peas, soked overight then fried and eaten with salt & vinegar - a northern England thing.. She wasn't convinced intitially until I asked her where she thought it got it's name from..

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CatBones Spider Rank

CatBones

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Posted

Some of these are really hilarious, however I can't help but weep for humanity as I read through them... There should be a 'facepalm' smiley for occasions like this.  :brickwall:  :roflhard:

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