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I'm ordained


Athena

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My sister is getting married and wanted me to preformed the ceremony my response was ummmm ok. While that's ok on the reservation because its under tribal law she is getting married in Oregon where I would need to be ordained by some sort of religion. I checked around and it turns out you can become an ordained pagen clergy member for free! Yay for that the site does charge a minimal fee for the certificate but hey 14.99 is a great deal really because now I can preform hand fasting and other types of weddings anywhere. The much harder part for me is oing to be figuring out how I will word the ceremony I really dislike giving speeches of any type but this is for my sister so I will find the perfect words for the beautiful ceremony she deserves. This got me wondering about if anyone else here is ordained and by the way I'm not a fan of that term but apparently that's what makes it legal . I was wondering if there are any good tips or places to find meaningful hand fasting ceremony's or other types of pagen weddings.

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Many happy returns to your sister; however, I am strongly opposed to this practice. Out of respect for you and yours, I will just leave it at that. :)

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I am not a huge fan of this myself however Oregon has very strict laws regarding who can officiate a marriage and since our tribal grounds are not in Oregon I can not officiate without this. I think we should all stay true to our beliefs though and I would much rather fill out a Internet form for the spiritual church than the alternative. Which would be her having to find a cergyman from a church that she doesn't believe in and having a ceremony she doesn't love after all this is her special day and this is my gift to her.

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Nope and I'm not a resident so that wouldn't work, she wants a tribal wedding they more closely resemble a hand fasting really.

 

Oregon allows judges, justices of the peace county clerks or deputy's in that district and clergy that have official status in the state only. It appears to be one of the stricter states on who can preform services there.

 

They don't allow marriage by proxy either. I was a little surprised at how limited there laws are.

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Very interesting... I am only familiar with Florida laws so I googled it and it seems that only 3 states allow a notary to perform a marriage. Who'd a thunk it??? lol

 

M

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I was curious so I looked up the list of who can preform a marriage boy if your in Maine it's really easy to end up married lol. Maine

"A marriage, solemnized before any known inhabitant of the State professing to be a justice, judge, justice of the peace or notary public, or an ordained or licensed minister of the gospel, is not void, nor is its validity affected by any want of jurisdiction or authority in the justice, judge, justice of the peace, notary or minister or by any omission or informality in entering the intention of marriage, if the marriage is in other respects lawful and consummated with a full belief, on the part of either of the persons married, that they are lawfully married." (Title 19A § 657)

 

Whether a resident or nonresident of this State and whether or not a citizen of the United States:

 

An ordained minister of the gospel; A cleric engaged in the service of the religious body to which the cleric belongs; or A person licensed to preach by an association of ministers, religious seminary or ecclesiastical body. (Title 19A § 655)

 

"Every person authorized to unite persons in marriage shall make and keep a record of every marriage solemnized by that person in conformity with the forms and instructions prescribed by the State Registrar of Vital Statistics ..." (Title 19A § 654)

 

"A person who solemnizes a marriage when not authorized to do so under section 655 commits a civil violation for which a forfeiture not to exceed $100 for each offense may be adjudged. Forfeitures collected must be distributed to the municipality in which the offense occurred." (Title 19A § 659)

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I was curious so I looked up the list of who can preform a marriage boy if your in Maine it's really easy to end up married lol. Maine

"A marriage, solemnized before any known inhabitant of the State professing to be a justice, judge, justice of the peace or notary public, or an ordained or licensed minister of the gospel, is not void, nor is its validity affected by any want of jurisdiction or authority in the justice, judge, justice of the peace, notary or minister or by any omission or informality in entering the intention of marriage, if the marriage is in other respects lawful and consummated with a full belief, on the part of either of the persons married, that they are lawfully married." (Title 19A § 657)

 

 

Well hot damn - that's a couple of shots and a toast by the bartender, lol lol

 

M

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Oregon has so many tribal lands and so many different tribes! Isn't there some loophole somewhere that if a tribe grants permisssion to a member of another tribe to perform a wedding,then it is legal??

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Not that I can see there laws regarding marriage are very limited and because its so short not a lot of loop holes. They don't even list tribal, below is the actual list for who can legally preform marrigaes in Oregon.

 

Marriage ceremonies may be performed by the following:

Judges

 

 

Justices of Peace

 

 

County Clerks or their Deputies within appointing county

 

 

Persons appointed to perform the ceremony by a congregation having regular meetings in the state (i.e., ministers, pastors, priests, rabbis).

 

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but you being ordained...does the place that ordained you have regular meetings in the state with a congregation present, and did the congregation itself appoint you??

 

M

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Back to the OP

 

I was wondering if there are any good tips or places to find meaningful hand fasting ceremony's or other types of pagen weddings.

 

I needed a handfasting ceremony for a book chapter. I just googled "handfasting" and came up with a bunch of sites that had ceremonies that I added to, subtracted from, rearranged and such to suit what I needed. Note: you'll need to go through more than just the first page of the search results.

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We bought a book for our handfasting but was a bit too fluffy, huge waste of money. I agree with MW you can use the bare bones and make it personal.

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Hey congratulations Athena. What a great honour to be asked to do this. Just do it and enjoy it :biggrin:

 

lol - yes, sorry... we got a little caught up in the legalities. Congrats on being asked to be a part of your sister's new beginning.

 

One of the weddings I did (which was actually timed to music - don't ask, lol) I put in a part that actually came from an old prayer book from the church of England, which said

 

"with this ring I thee wed; with this body I thee worship"

 

which I always thought was a beautiful saying :-)

 

M

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The lady that did ours did a wonderful job. If you are on facebook look up "the wedding woman" wedding officiant. She may be able to give you some ideas.

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My husband and I got married in the middle of our lake (very small) under the tall pines, in the middle of our town (also small) by the local notary.. I wrote the wedding vows.. which basically were "do you?" and "do you?" and "your married" lol. well ok a few more words but not much. We took out all the "suggested" wordings... with God and such... lol. and made it a 2 minute long wedding. But since it was -35c and the middle of winter (our favorite season) it was the best. :thumbsup: Even better, we were wearing our snowsuits.. no tux and dress to worry about there. We Loved it. Was personal, to the point, and private, with only the notary and one of my son's and a co-worker as witnesses. Beautiful. :biggrin2:

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The site that this link takes you too has at the very bottom of the page several different types of ceremonies and prayers and such for a few religion/belief. (Mostly wiccan)

 

http://www.rollanet.org/~mdoc/pagan/

 

Thanks for this link its a good staring point. Thanks for the other suggestions too they are helpful and I appreciate it.

 

I have myself been pretty caught up in the legalese of all this it's obviously very important that this be legal I have heard plenty of horror story's about couples who thought they where married and it turned out they where not. Obviously that would be very bad , I actually called the registrars office after that last question of wether being ordained was enough and it is apperantly they figure if your there to preform a ceremony someone there must believe and apparently the rest is so subjective they don't bother with it.

 

I won't lie this has me a bit scared I'm not much of a public speaker and tend to be very reserved and this is my first ever marriage and unlike other rituals/ceremonies I have led there will be more people and lots who I don't know . I hate this feeling nervous its driving me slightly crazy I think that it's so important to me that I get it exactly right is just making it worse.. Short sweet and to the point is going to be my watch words on this. I'm going to do a calming spell maybe that will help.

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I hear that, when I *almost* got married I had a wedding planner and the officiant was a graduate of Harvard divinity school, and I was pulling my hair out. At least it should be easy to find a site in Oregon, there isn't anywhere that isn't gorgeous, in the western part of the state anyhow....

 

Congrats, on your sister's wedding, your newly minted ministership, and remember...if you suck at writing your part(like I did) you can hire grad students from the local uni to do it for you(good way to get really awesome cheap musicians too) :vhappywitch:

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I hear that, when I *almost* got married I had a wedding planner and the officiant was a graduate of Harvard divinity school, and I was pulling my hair out. At least it should be easy to find a site in Oregon, there isn't anywhere that isn't gorgeous, in the western part of the state anyhow....

 

Congrats, on your sister's wedding, your newly minted ministership, and remember...if you suck at writing your part(like I did) you can hire grad students from the local uni to do it for you(good way to get really awesome cheap musicians too) :vhappywitch:

 

That is a great idea!! I think I might just do that. They live in the Eugene area and your right its so beautiful when ever I go there I'm taken aback at not just how pretty it is but all the flora and fauna that's just everywhere. I especially love the mint fields and always bring some home.

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