I have touched on this subject before, probably the only interesting addition to this topic as far as my story goes, when I started out I got into EVERYTHING occult and one of my main interests was ghosts. Being just a kid I didn't know what a ghost was exactly but it sounded awesome..so..ouija, rituals, scrying..anything, just to gain contact. And I did, very easily so. It was frightening !
I still remember so much from that day, it was not at night, not in the dark, not anything that you would expect. It was that one day when I did not follow any ritual or ouija. Me and my friend at the time who was also into anything spiritual was in my room messing around with my "witch bag", I had a bag that I kept my herbs, crystals etc in. A really cool bag that you can wrap out like a cloth - I have posted photos of it on my IG - anyway, I use the bottom for divination. Point being, in the beginning apart from the scary first meeting and the constant feeling of being watched during the following months or so things started to get really interesting.
It sound pretty cliché The Craft (all though this was way before that movie..) when I say that my "spells" started to REALLY work. They had prior to the meeting as well but nowI felt a bit like I wasn't quite in control but I could make bigger things happen. However, it was always a price to pay.
Fast forward 30 years my path is pretty much the same, I have always been open minded and added whatever feels right to my craft, be it trad. norwegian, shamanistic related, rootwork..anything that feels right. But the one thing I want to change is the entity. I have been thinking about the possibility of changing it, trading it for another. I know, what is she saying ? Basically I want to find a specific spirit, demon, call it what you want, and hopefully give my services to that in order to trade. have never heard of such a thing but then again I have experimented with unheard of things before with often good results. I'm rambling..recently I have been studying demonology whenever I have a spare moment trying to find a entity that feels right. I know chances are slim but, anyone else been in a similar situation ?
Maybe I sound ungrateful but trust me, I can feel it getting worse, I think I am next at some point if I don't suck it up and put on my big girl boots and kick this demon bastard out of my life.(in trade of another one...😳 )
So, that's the change I've gone through the last 30 + years.
Haha, yeah, that was one of my ideas last night, and I set up a "exercise room"...in my "witch room"..I have guest room with a hidden shelf and all my goodies scattered around looking like interior. I still have my altar in the living room but there is a limit to what I can load on it as gifts/sacrifice..I mean, if it ain´t remotely related to incense or look like interior nicknacks then I can't put it there..and we all know how picky some of our friends are, right ? "Hey, gimme bacon!!" - lays bacon beside the oil burner. BF sees bacon laying casually on top of the radio.."What is this, GF ?" ..."Ooooh..uuuhm..incense...?" Yeah, not exactly perfect set up.
But yeah,I have a work project dealing with demons, magic, ghosts, creatures from folklore, and luckily it includes sigils ! So, I can sit and read books and take notes in the open without it looking like I'm planning a trip to Blåkulla.
I can sympathize with you there, I am never alone either. However, I have an Art Room to which I retreat to and can do some things in private. Writing in my Grimoire, research and some preparatory work. My Altar is in full view though, so I am discrete using that and all people see are lit candles and incense.
NorwegianWitch, just tell people you are doing research.
I basically live two lives -- the real me hidden from everyone and the public me. I keep my craft away from the public eye because of negative experiences. I also find it more comfortable to be private about it. It is for me alone. Clearly it is obvious that I am interested in the occult, as most people would call it, but as I am a historian and a hobby botanist it is quite easy to keep reality hidden from family, friends etc.
But a very good reason to keep it private is my professional life - I deal with people from all over the world and many are not positive about witchcraft, it could easily make it difficult for my work if everyone knew me - what I'm really like. It is stupid to have to hide like this in 2021 but that's the way it is !
Another thing that's been on mind a lot last year is how hard it's been to practise now that I am never alone. I find it hard to slip away to do anything. Not even tarot, like a quick read. I just never have time for myself - anyone else feel like this ?
An attempt to be social.Take into consideration that I am a very anti social witch creature and I usually enjoy that but 2020 made me realise that I have hardly done any work last year and it made me wonder why. The answer is: I am never alone anymore. There is no room for whipping out the weirdness where ever I please anymore, filling the dining room table with poison plant foliage and blend various concoctions, or do rituals in the living room..heck, I don't even do tarot ! Winter is harsh, no welcoming woods to visit for some occultivities, no quiet beach ..nothing. Ugh..Only thing I did in 2020 was to let my plants grow wild.
Apart from that, here are some pics of my crib, there is always a lot of northern lights here, also Polar stratospheric clouds, very beautiful.
When I think back on 2020 I must say it was dominated by horses, and as much as I love horses I hope that 2021 will be filled with craft adventures, I have a long list of things to do..I just need some solitude....
Bonus image of a magical path of toadstools that I took for my Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/norwegianvvitch/
It's been a strange Samhain this year, literally buzzing with energies from the World of Spirit, but with an underlying sadness and feeling of loss and torment. I'm just coming down now, getting mentally exhausted and really needing some rest time soon.