Ok...I sit here tonight...listening to my oldest daughter laughing with her friend (one of my previous students) and I find myself really missing her already. She leaves tomorrow to return to her home in New York.
She came down so I could fly out to New Orleans for a much needed vacation and stayed an extra week to be with me.
As much as I say that I am pretty thick-skinned about my husband being in Iraq and my daughters not being at home...I know deep down inside I miss them all very much and realized while I was in New Orleans how lonely I truly was for company and someone to laugh with or to talk to.
I guess that is why I want to move to New Orleans so bad right now. In New Orleans I can be alone but there is so much life around me I really didn't feel the emptiness.
Upon returning to the Keys...I realized how isolated I actually made myself. There are days I barely utter a sound from my own voice and the times I venture outside my front door, I can easily count on my hands.
At first I thought my photography would take up the void. It did and in a way it does. Same as my business. It does take up some time.
But the deathly loud silence in my house is at times more than I bargained for.
Yeah I am going to miss her and while I would never allow the girls or Ray to know how lonely I am...knowing this place I live will be dreadfully silent and even more empty tomorrow night is already bringing tears to my eyes.
During this whole week...my daughter and I laughed...fished...talked alot...cooked alot...watched movies together. It was really good to have her with me.
While...reading back over this I sound pretty wet noodle eh.
I guess i just didn't realize how lonely I truly was until I had life around me.