When I first joined this forum and introduced myself some members expressed interest in hearing about my magic with dreams. I don't know whether it is that interesting but it has become mostly what I do with my witchcraft so I might as well share thoughts about it. Rather than just creating a lot of topics all over the place I decided to create a blog here. I have my own diary that I write a lot of detail about my dreams but I don't want to post all of that here, I'm planning to post just highlights or things that I think might be more interesting to others. This will be a long entry to introduce my blog and explain why dreaming is important to me, but I think that most entries after this will just be short ones.
DISCLAIMER: These are my own ideas only and not intended to dispute the validity of anyone else's ideas. I welcome alternative perspectives on anything I write. I am interested in things that other people have to say.
WHY IS DREAMING MY PRIMARY PRACTICE? I've always been very interested in witchcraft but I think that I wasn't very sure how to approach it. Actual physically enacted ritual doesn't interest me, it seems fussy and not practical for me to do. But I started visualising ritual and awakening my imagination, walking through places that I pictured for myself, seeing what ideas could come out of the deep darkness of mind and what they could mean. This sort of practice overlapped with dreams, there's a point where you're not sure whether you're dreaming or awake. I've always dreamed a lot and at times suffered from nightmares but also have always naturally done things like waking up and returning to a dream after visiting the bathroom or whatever during the night. But in adulthood my dreams have become more significant and meaningful to me, more arresting and memorable, and also more lucid and self-aware.
MORE ON PRIMARY PRACTICE - DREAM ACCOUNT 1: I started taking dreaming a lot more seriously around the time my aunt died in 2014. After she died I struggled to deal with her death. She was the single consistent figure of unconditional love in my life, I knew she didn't always understand me, but I never doubted that she loved and accepted me. I dreamed of her a lot but in the dreams I would always confront the figure that appeared to be her and angrily accuse it of not really being my aunt, but being a fake, copy, inauthentic, dream scenery, just pretending to be her. One evening about 6 months after she died I was missing her very badly late at night and I couldn't sleep, I was very emotional and went walking around the neighbourhood at 3am trying to calm down, ended up back in bed crying and wishing I could see her or talk to her. Afterwards I fell asleep and I came through a door out of the dream I was in, to a place where she was like a mountaintop. She was wearing a golden scalemail tunic, she looked so well and healthy and beautiful just how she liked to look in life, I saw that she was a dragon now. The feeling of her presence was so intense and vivid. I was aware I was dreaming and I ran to her and kind of grabbed her arms and said "It's really you! It's not a fake you, it's the real you." She said something like "Yes, it's the real me. You don't have to worry about me because I'm with [my people]" and I dimly saw that there were other figures around her. She said "I want you to know that I love you and I'm always watching over you and protecting you." After that I woke up but I felt so strongly that she had visited me. I have seen her a couple of times since, but a fairy I saw in a different dream told me that it takes a huge amount of effort and energy for them to visit in a dream, and it's not really necessary, it's more efficient and effective that they're using their energy over just watching. Since then, more recently, I've had similar dreams of my grandmother and of a friend I loved very much who passed away a few years ago.
MORE ON PRIMARY PRACTICE - DREAM ACCOUNT 2: Around the same time I also had a dream about Moly. I did my undergraduate degree in literature and read a lot during those years. My undergrad degree was a quest back to involvement in life from some health challenges I had as a young man. My dream was about the flower from Homer's Odyssey, Moly. In case you haven't read about Odysseus (aka Ulysses), he was the Greek warrior-king who was the brains behind the Trojan horse. After the Trojan war he took a long, arduous, and adventurous journey home to his island kingdom and his wife Penelope (who was all this time devotedly fending off aggressive suitors who were greedy to take possession of the kingdom). On the way home he stopped to refuel at this island owned by a powerful witch called Circe, famously painted by J. W. Waterhouse. I can't remember exactly what happened... I think she turned all his crew to pigs and promised to turn them all back to men if he would just spend some quality time with her. She was planning to turn him into a pig too, after she was satisfied with these enjoyable times together, but Hermes gave Odysseus the herb Moly to protect him from her enchantment. So Odysseus and her were having a great time in her chambers and eventually she was like "Alright, enough fun and games, you can become a pig now." And he was like "Aha! But I have Moly!" And she was like "Oh damn, foiled! I can't counter the Moly! Well good game I guess, we had a nice time, you can take all your men and go." So that's what Moly is... it's a powerful protection from enchantment. Like "It is difficult to dig for mortal men, but the Gods are able to do all things." I didn't and don't identify with Odysseus at all, in fact I think he was a jerk, but Moly is not intrinsic to Odysseus, it came from the Gods. So I dreamed about Moly and I did a drawing that I have attached here. The dream was hyper realistic and detailed, like a computer generated animation of geometry. Sorry my drawing is pretty crude but all the leaves were cascading down and hiding the stems of the leaves that were growing from beneath them, so that eventually there were leaves rising in the center with no stems, like watchful green eyes, they were growing by magic, and that meant that the pale translucent flowers did not need stems because they were nourished or grew out of magic. It doesn't make sense I know, but the imagination doesn't need to make sense. I really felt my calling as a witch in this dream. I felt that I was given something precious and special that would help me by a benevolent force beyond myself. Moly has always stayed very important to me since then. Wandering through visions of Moly forests, thoughts of Moly in my bones and sprouting out of my flesh, constructing ideas out of Moly, sending gifts of Moly to figures I encountered in my dreams. I think that my dream of Moly is when I really started listening carefully to my dreams and exploring them seriously.
WHERE DO DREAMS COME FROM AND WHY ARE THEY MAGIC? Deep imagination, deep nature, the "unconscious". I want to make it clear that I'm not a Freudian. I reject Freud's theory of psychosexual development as morbid fantasies, and I reject the absurdly erroneous notion that he was the discoverer of "the unconscious" and no one knew of it, thought of it, explored it, or articulated it before him. I find sexual intercourse to be non-essential to nature and its expressions, only one possible way that nature goes about expressing itself, so I put that aside in this discussion not because I reject sex itself in any way (I don't!), but because I think it is incidental to the human being as a natural expression and simply not what interests me about the unconscious. We're like a flower that blooms out of the universe but beneath the flower are all the chemicals from the universe that take structure to make the flower bloom. All those universe-things are down in there somewhere, swimming around perhaps more or less coherent we don't know, beyond the comprehension of the flower of our mind, but can find the structure in our mind to express themselves in a form that would be comprehensible to our mind, fairy creatures. I think that's what we deal with as witches. Deepest nature, the imagination, magic, things from down in the darkness of the universe that aren't understood. Why did the universe express itself in a consciousness? We don't know, and the limits of our intelligence can't allow us to discover the answer through objective observation. But having a consciousness still gives a good opportunity to examine the universe! "If thou gaze long into an abyss, the abyss gazes back into thee" - Nietzche. Which is exactly what is so exciting!
WHAT DO I HOPE TO ACHIEVE BY DREAMING AS A WITCHCRAFT PRACTICE? For many reasons about my life I've had a lot of trouble "finding myself" in life. Finding my pathway, my passion, my focus. That isn't to say that everyone has such a thing or should have such a thing, I think that idea is a fabrication of the market economy that has been developed as a sort of unhelpful or even poisonous monomyth through the self help retail industry. But for me, because of my disposition or temperament, and because of the events of my life and my particular situation in life, it is important to have that thing in the future to reach towards and express myself and discover myself through. At some times in the past, I cast magic at the world, or at other people, but I found the outcomes to be complicated and unmanageable. I think that my best way of experiencing magic is in making myself stronger and more capable, more thoughtful, more knowledgeable about myself and more deliberate and considered in my ways of expressing myself in the world. So, my practice as a witch is very inward looking, and dreams are as far inward as I can look. But I practice this way in order to act as a person in the world. Particularly, I dream increasingly of music, and at least right now, I see my travels through the future of my life as being with music.
THANK YOU FOR READING.