Location: Work(It's a slow day)
Song stuck in my Head: Man Down by Rianna
Currently Reading: Hopeless on Wattpad https://www.wattpad.com/story/26479520-hope-less
My life has his a strange place. I find myself wondering at this point what it is I want to do with my craft. Up to this point, it has been a flurry of learning absolutely everything I could with a genuinely ravenous appetite. I found myself growing swiftly in both knowledge and ability. I found and lost a beloved mentor, found and lost lovers. The last few years have been eventful, to say the least. After losing my mentor, I withdrew from any community who practiced the craft and began an entirely solo journey. I moved out of my parent's house and in with my husband. We lived in extreme poverty, but my practice of the craft never wavered. In fact, it was the practice of the craft wich enabled us to get out of that extreme poverty and into a more stable situation.
Oddly, now that I seem to have more time to practice it appears I have hit a lull. No more am I in this furious state of constant information seeking and absorption. Rather I seem to be in some Limbo where I feel like I'm supposed to be doing something different and just don't know what it is yet. Perhaps I should review my basics, or look into a different path. I have had a desire to write everything down in a new book rather than the one I have been using. I feel fairly aimless at the moment like I'm in a rut.
This is not to say I am unhappy in my life. I have a wonderful husband whom I love dearly, a wonderful surrogate family who are always supportive and things are good between me and my birth family right now. Is this perhaps a holdover from last year when I lost so many people I loved to disease or old age? Perhaps. But rather I think it is that I am missing something craft related. Perhaps it's time to do some hardcore meditation and scrying to guide me through this rut, or perhaps a simple guidance spell.
Either way I am glad I found this place where I can freely post these thoughts.