Fasted for the rest of the day after the failed attempt to do the Mars ritual yesterday morning.
I was never able to successfully fast for an entire day before... low self control, you see.
But Mars will fix that, for sure. And it did.
I woke up this morning at 4am to redo the ritual, after some intense dreams that I knew I would have forgotten if I hadn't woken up. I had prepared the supplies before going to sleep, so nothing would be forgotten.
The words said, the actions done, the contemplation complete. I felt like rusty water was washed over me, and it felt like a thumb being pressed between my eyebrows. I had some communication with the Intelligence that I had spoken to before.
I asked for courage for whatever I might have to face with the oncoming Rite, but I feel like that's up to me.
After the ritual I didn't notice much of a difference. I felt pretty much the same. The only real difference was, when I woke up again after that, I sat in my bed and thought about spiritual protection. I thought a lot about spiritual protection. More intensely than just a witch bottle or brick dust or even shielding.
I thought about protection against physical dangers through spiritual means. I recalled a conversation I had with my friend yesterday, and how her house got raided by cops in riot gear and guns, and how they threw her to the ground and searched her and then locked her in the bathroom with one of them while they went through her house looking for meth that was never there. She asked for a warrant and they wouldn't give it to her. They wouldn't even talk to her, just throw her around. She told me how she could hear them playing her harp, heard them make up funny songs about raiding her house, and then finally heard them smash her harp. She told me how they stole her shit and roommates underwear and photos. And then, finally, she told me as they were leaving they finally showed her the warrant that was outdated. Several years outdated. She was left with a destroyed house. All the windows and doors were smashed for their pure enjoyment, and there was nothing she could do about it. She said she couldn't even sue them.
As I lay thinking about this, I felt anger welling up inside me. Nothing you could do... they had guns... any retaliation and they would have just shot you, saying you attacked them. You could literally be killed in your own home just for trying to stop someone from destroying it, legally. Legally killed. I was getting so pissed. I need to get stronger, magically. I need to make my spirits stronger. If that happened to me... and I was stronger, they may have been able to leave the house with it destroyed, but they also might have been followed home by a shadow. Each one. And they and their families would have to deal with their mistakes.
And that did it. I will be stronger for my own protection, and for the protection of those I care about. And for my things. You don't fuck with a witch's things. Come in and smash my altar? You better believe even your great grandchildren will be feeling the sting.