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How I Came to be Here


Rowan's Light

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I have been pondering my life so far and the mistakes I made to get to where I am now.

 

I had a pretty normal upbringing not wierd in any way. Neither of my parents were Pagan so I think that affected a few things for me as a child. From primary school age I have had foresight of danger/bad things but it was never explained to me what was happening and I began to lock these feelings away and eventually managed to block them out.

 

By time I left home at eighteen I was craving something more and began to find out more about Wicca ways and slowly my foresight returned and I was also blessed with a rather handy ability of being able to pick up on others thoughts and moods. Unfortunately I couldn't let go of the fact that this was not normal and that I wouldn't fit in if anyone knew so I kept it squirrelled away from my friends.

 

At Twenty I met my now husband and tried to mould myself into what I thought should be the perfect partner and latterly the perfect mum and completly gave up on my beliefs and the few skills I had left. Of course it all went downhill from there and I suffered from depression throughout most of my twenties.

 

Hitting thirty was the start of a new phase for me. I was still feeling a bit low and was trying to figure out why when I found my old books and started reading through them again. Things started to make more sense to me so I announced to my hubby that I had enough of being a miserable cow and that for the past 10 years I had tried to be 'normal' and it made me sick and now I was doing it my way and if he didn't like then tough s**t . To which he replied that it had taken me long enough and he would be happy to see me smile and supported me totally and he had never asked me to change in the first place. Which kind of took the wind out of my sails LOL.

 

A year on (yes I'm 31) and I heve read up on Wicca and found it's not for me and when I fell upon this site I finally found a place where I fitted in.

 

I'm not yet a knowledgeable witch - I kind of work my way through things. I don't do circles or tools really, I find my finger is the most portable tool I have - it goes everywhere with me!

 

I love my herbs and candles but I am really into the 'less is more' way of thought. If i need a spell it is done on impulse and not necessarily planned in advance.

 

Overall I'm a happy witch at last and glad to be here and meet you all:)

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Nice story indeed and very honest.. I've been in a similar position, stopped doing what made me happy for someone else.. and the only result is being miserable!

 

Glad you've found your path. :eheheh:

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