Today, I will be preparing our new home. I will be wiping the walls and scrubbing the floors, fumigating the property and talking with the house spirits to prepare them for our arrival in a few weeks. I have not lived in a place like this for a long time - there's a yard, a garage, many trees, room for a fenced in yard and a garden. We have a basement, washer and dryer, a workshop room and storage for cans and wines. It will be such a change from my cramped, 3 room apartment that is packed with four people and is dripping from the ceiling in many spots. What a change this will be.... I must not take it for granted. And, I would like to be welcome by the spirits who reside there. I can tell this was someone's "forever home," and perhaps it still is.
I will also begin to wipe my current place clean. Wash my hands of it, wash its walls from me. May the next person who lives here truly need it, because it's a shithole. I needed it, at the time, but that time has passed, and I am over it. This apartment has become a negative place - dark, cramped, wet, smells like the dogs of the dirt bags before it, even after a year of trying to get the smell out.
And, if I can get into summer classes, this will be my last semester of college until graduate school. I am ready to wash my hands of this school as well, too much has happened here and it is time to move on, to catch up on money, to begin my life as some semblance of a professional in a field I know rather well. It is time for khakis and equipment to begin, and for textbooks and debt to take a vacation for a while.
I knew this new moon would be significant in terms of the end of a cycle, and when I saw dagaz, I knew it was time and correct to move on. I was worrying, about moving in with my SO, about what to do when school ended, about how I would make ends meet and save up for grad school. But, I got the sign I needed to trek onwards. I have been in such a rut, this last year, and I finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. I don't know if my troubles will wean, but at least they will be different soon.
So, with this new moon, out with the old and in with the new! Into a new house with WINDOWS that is LIVABLE! Into a new routine which will let me catch up on my debts! Into a new way of life that I have been craving for 2 years! Into a new mind, which will be healthier, happier, and stronger! Into the rest of my life, and out of spinning my wheels in this shithole of a place, this highschool of a college, this commitment with the assholes I live with, and this dark point of my life that I am so very done with.