Greetings to all!!!!
Today was a (is) good day thus far. Saw my PO went to work for a couple hours and will be going back to work later this evenening for a few more hours. I have been enjoying reading some of the posts on the forums. However I am left with a troubling thought. This being that of my father who lives in Ohio. He has recently found out out that he has some issues with his colon, the doctors are not saying as of yet what is wrong just that he needs to go in and have a scope done on his colon. He is very scared as am I, it has only been 5 or 6 years since his sister ( my aunt....go figure lol) went in for similar tests only to be diagnosed with cancer and died 12 days later. So with all this and the added stress of my jouny of self exploration I am left with a troubled mind and heart. I have an uncanny sence of dismay and anger growing within myself that only seems to grow larger by leaps and bounds day after day. All this seems to add to the internal rage of energy that I feel within myself with no knowledge of an outlet. So I am left with this burning gut feeling and urgency to do something not knowing what that is or a means of releasing any of this internal stress so it continues to build and manifest inside of my soul and it scares the hell out of me. I dread the day that I learn how to focus my energy for either good or bad cause that will be the day that either someone close to me ( or worse yet a inocent bystander) is either hurt or blessed beyond all recognician ( sp). Until that day comes I will continyue to push forward and try and learn what I can and continue to push that internal stress and discomfort to the bottom of my soul in hopes of burying it and letting more of the intended good of my mind come forth.
Well I think I have rambled long enough so I will close with good wishes to all on the upcoming days and weeks ahead. May you all find what it is you seek at the end of your dayly journy. :)