I don't know if many or any of you noticed but I've not been on for a little while I have a cronic medical issue that rears it's ugly head from time to time. I don't talk about it much because I usually get be or two people who make comments that irritate me lol. I need to talk about it though even if it's hard.
I damaged my spinal cord specifically my lumbar sacreal plexus during the birth of my youngest son, it was a very traumatic birth and we where both damaged a little. Gaber has asphergers a type of autism they believe caused from his cord being in a true knot. It was that knot that set the whole mess into motion. I have very fast labors our oldest I went to the hospital at 5.30 and he was born at 9.15. So with gaber we knew it was going to be even faster so because he hadn't been moving during the pregnacy they decided to induce about a week ahead of my due date. By that time I was completely freaking out because I kept having these strange dreams that something was wrong, I would lift him out of my tummy like I was a kangaroo and look at him and the umbilical cord. I finally told my doctor who took me seriously thankfully but at that time 11 years ago they didn't have the technology to see the problem
The day I went in to be induced I had been using some oil my family swears by to help labor all they had to do was put some gel on my cervix and walk and wait several hours. Around 7pm I was in labor and they broke my water the doctor knew right away there was a problem because it was full of thick green maconium. He left to call in a respitorty therapist and a anathesiologist to give me a saddle block. We are very rural so it's a good thing he called right away the respatory therepist was about 45 min away. They gave me a spinal block and I knew something was off it felt like an electric shock went down my back and leg and I got no pain relief. They then hooked me up to a machine to pump embryonic fluid back in to baby trying to flush out the maconium. That prevented me from moving at all and I had given birth the time squatting and moving around all I wanted so I was in pain and for gabers sake I couldn't move around. By then it was 8.30 and the doctor went out to fill out forms and see where the respitorty therepist was and unbeknownst to me check on a operating room since they where starting to have concerns.
At 9.00 pm Iooked at my husband and said go get the doctor I'm ready to have this baby right now. They had checked me about 15 minutes previous and I was at 7 but like I said I have fast labors so when the doctor and nurse come in sure enough I was ready to go. That's when all hell broke lose, gabers heart beat stopped my blood pressure whent crazy over 210 and I had only pushed once. There was no time for a c-section and he was in the birth canal any way so I started pushing even when I wasn't having contractions. It only took me 4 or 5 pushes he was born at 9.10 pm with an apgar score of 4. He was blue and not crying the scariest moments of my life thankfully the respatory therepist had arrived and they hooked him up to oxygen and warmed him up. They finally got him breathing right and the right color so I could hold him 30 minutes later.
They were all a little freaked out about the knot in the umbilical cord it's not very common in live vaginal births, they cause a lot of still borns around week 32 in pregnancy. I still wish I could have had that cord there was something about it that really called to me.
The next day I knew something was very wrong I was still having contractions or at least what felt like contractions. I was in so much pain all I could do was shake. My doctor was great something I'm very thankfull for he figured out I had nerve damage right away. The problem is no one wants to tell you it's permanent and your going to be in pain for the rest of your life at 26. I have had multipule tests that show I have sever nerve damage to two nerves my femoral and obtarator both. Stemming from the lumbar sacral plexus. In order to get the debilitating pain under control I had a complete hystorectomy about 5 years ago it helped a lot actually because every time I had a period it was like I was in labor and sex was out of the question. The fact that my husband stayed by my side and never even thought of straying is a miracal to me.
I have only told this long story(sorry) one other time and I was shocked that so many people thought and commented about that might Resent my wounderfull son and wish he hadn't been born. He is my greatest joy I would lay down my life for him so no I have never resented him i just wish he didn't have the difficultys he does. He is a great kid and I love him dearly. The problem is I sometimes get really sick because my immune system is a mess even with tonics and tinctures and modern medication. I use every resource avalible to have as full of a life as I can. I'm mostly home bound but that's ok we have a great area around our home complete with apple orchered and my iPad gives me the freedom to go almost anywhere. I just count my self as really lucky and blessed that both of us are alive and even with our issues happy. So if I go missing off and on you will know why. Wow it sort of feels good to have put all this out there though a little scary too lol. I hope this gives you guys a chance to know me better.