I was hesitant to start a blog... but I am the type of person who needs to ramble aimlessly to come to some sort of viable conclusion for myself. So here goes...
I had started a thread about Herne to get more information on the energy. The background is that I had an interesting interaction with this energy while I was reading. Now this hardly ever happens to me. I read, then reread, and then I will do the meditations described in the book if I find them interesting. This just popped up during the first reading and threw me back a bit. I journaled the interaction and it is as follows:
... it led me on a path up the small hill to the top where it overlooked the forrest. As I approached the well-defined muscled man he turned. Herne was beautiful but rough looking, naked but I was unaware of anything but his face and head (chest-up) and the horns growing from his head.
Herne: What are you looking for?
Me: Knowledge and wisdom
H: It can be found here but you must give yourself to the path.
Me: I don't want to anger God.
H: God loves all, he will not be upset with this. He is love and forgiveness.
Me: But how do I do it?
H: You must dedicate yourself (a flash picture of a drop of blood on my fingertip). You have great wisdom, strength and power. We've been watching you for some time. You could do great things if you give of yourself.
Me: Yes, sir. Thank you.
I also asked about working with angels instead of dietys which he said that was fine. I've always had a special relationship with angels, including fallen ones. By the time I got the conversation down, the memory had already started to slip away.
So now, I've done some research on him and realized that he was representing the balanced energy of nature, the earth and the otherworld. He appeared as a representation of the path. What I find is strange is that I thought I was already on the path for the past few years, learning, doing, and experiencing it for myself. I guess, I was just playing 'witch' lol. I've been talking to spirits and 'angels' for decades now... looked into a coven that was 'wiccan' (ugh!) years ago, been casting for a loooong time, but I'm ready now? hmmmm what changed? I have no clue.
My biggest fear these past few years, has been angering God. Now mind you, I have to put a name to all my energies and I see God as the Universal energy, balanced and whole, interconnected with all that is. However, that Catholic dogma is still attached in my head, that some great misfortune will fall upon me. However, I know this is the right path. I tend to stay on the lighter side of it, but that is mostly because I see such 'evil' everyday... the negative pull of selfishness, greed, disrespect, pain, violence, death. It's almost as if I am on the other side of the teeter-totter trying to keep it level lol.
So, now what? Dedication at the new moon (dark)? It is very exciting for me though... If I have been divining for years, interacting with spirits as well, being empathic, channeling, etc... what could be next? I can't wait to find out.