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Oceana's Moon's Blog

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Starting my path



I was hesitant to start a blog... but I am the type of person who needs to ramble aimlessly to come to some sort of viable conclusion for myself. So here goes...


I had started a thread about Herne to get more information on the energy. The background is that I had an interesting interaction with this energy while I was reading. Now this hardly ever happens to me. I read, then reread, and then I will do the meditations described in the book if I find them interesting. This just popped up during the first reading and threw me back a bit. I journaled the interaction and it is as follows:


... it led me on a path up the small hill to the top where it overlooked the forrest. As I approached the well-defined muscled man he turned. Herne was beautiful but rough looking, naked but I was unaware of anything but his face and head (chest-up) and the horns growing from his head.



Herne: What are you looking for?


Me: Knowledge and wisdom


H: It can be found here but you must give yourself to the path.


Me: I don't want to anger God.


H: God loves all, he will not be upset with this. He is love and forgiveness.


Me: But how do I do it?


H: You must dedicate yourself (a flash picture of a drop of blood on my fingertip). You have great wisdom, strength and power. We've been watching you for some time. You could do great things if you give of yourself.


Me: Yes, sir. Thank you.


I also asked about working with angels instead of dietys which he said that was fine. I've always had a special relationship with angels, including fallen ones. By the time I got the conversation down, the memory had already started to slip away.




So now, I've done some research on him and realized that he was representing the balanced energy of nature, the earth and the otherworld. He appeared as a representation of the path. What I find is strange is that I thought I was already on the path for the past few years, learning, doing, and experiencing it for myself. I guess, I was just playing 'witch' lol. I've been talking to spirits and 'angels' for decades now... looked into a coven that was 'wiccan' (ugh!) years ago, been casting for a loooong time, but I'm ready now? hmmmm what changed? I have no clue.


My biggest fear these past few years, has been angering God. Now mind you, I have to put a name to all my energies and I see God as the Universal energy, balanced and whole, interconnected with all that is. However, that Catholic dogma is still attached in my head, that some great misfortune will fall upon me. However, I know this is the right path. I tend to stay on the lighter side of it, but that is mostly because I see such 'evil' everyday... the negative pull of selfishness, greed, disrespect, pain, violence, death. It's almost as if I am on the other side of the teeter-totter trying to keep it level lol.


So, now what? Dedication at the new moon (dark)? It is very exciting for me though... If I have been divining for years, interacting with spirits as well, being empathic, channeling, etc... what could be next? I can't wait to find out.


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Maybe the "you're ready" part is that you've reached a point where you can deepen your journey in a spiritual sense, not that you haven't been on the path for a while. It could also be that he was dealing with that last bit of dogma that you harbored - the part about angering God. Sometimes we need the personal affirmation that God's not waiting with thunderbolt or smite button at hand for our slightest mistake.


There is something very exciting about focusing on something particular, like focusing on specific deities, or working with new energies, or just learning to use a new tool. Good luck, and keep us updated!!

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I do think it is possible to anger a god. Hell - it's possible ot anger my cat, lol (just try moving HER off the most-comfortable-chair-in-the-house, lol). But seriously, my cat can only scratch me. A god-form is by its very nature much stronger than a human form. But I also think that's where oaths come in. ANd I don't think one is expected to oath to a god straight-up. Explore a god-form (respectuflly of course) and then if it gets that far one can look into oathing to that form. By oathing to it one also gets not just that god, but everything that works with that god - nothing exists alone. ANd in pissing off a god-form I don't think they will deliberately smite you , as in the Xtian bible, but they could very well just withdraw their support and interest. And some energies are life and death itself. So withdrawal of that support could leave one with no no connection to anything.


I think it is fine to explore gods, and in my explanation I make sure up front that I am "dating" them (sort of, lol) - like I have an interest, but I don't know you and your ways, so I am looking for interaction and communication. I have done this with Lilith and although she is an amazing god-form she was not for me. I have also done this with the more pagan-accepted Aradia (although by an older name and mythology) and again, she wasn't for me. But it is also an understanding of the gods and their energy, where and what that energy comes from, what they are personifications of, what their manifestations are, and (for me) how complete a god-form is. Most accepted gods come in pairs (usually a female and a "consort") to try and erase the dualism. This didn't work for me. I didn't want to get stuck with dualism. So I kept looking for a god-form that was complete in itself. I worked a bit with Baphomet, but he/she didn't do it for me either. I am currently communicationg with a new form that I am very unfamiliar with, but am learning much and fast. Again, I can't say whether or not I would adopt this god-form, and it does all feel very "cold" and sterile sometimes - like shopping for gods on the grocery store shelf, but as long as it is done respectfully I don't see anything wrong with explorations.



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P.S.- and it isn't necessarily up to us to decide - god-forms have lore and ways, if one is to actually work with a god-form one must work within that lore. And the god-form must also desire to work with the person. They ar ento at our beck and call.



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