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a punishment or a lesson?




over the past few months I had been emotionally overwhelmed by many things. I let everything get to me, I strayed from the path. I was just upset at everyone and everything. I went in last monday for a tubal ligation. Having no insurance at the moment I went to a "clinic" to have it done.

What happened was they didnt use anything they just started the procedure.

I did feel everything. The pain was strange though because I cried after it all. Not from the hurt but I had some kind of awakening through the intense pain. I felt like everything I had done, the anger the complaining the disappointment in life, has somehow manifested into that moment. Not so much as a punishment but to teach a lesson perhaps..

I am not sure what happened but I still feel strange..



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Rachel only you can answer this question. Embrace and experiance this grief/anger for a time or "season" if you will and after the experiance wanes you can shelve it, and reflect on it from time to time, without the emotional grief /anger of the past. My heart goes out to you, as this is very difficult for any woman, in my opinion.


Be Whole and Well again Rachel !:hugs:


Warmest Sincerest Regards,


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I would feel violated. Is it even legal to do surgeyr without anesthesia (assuming a tubal ligation is surgery)?


I hope you are back to yourself soon, and punishment isn't something the "universe" doles out. I really don't think this happened becuase you were in any way "bad." Crying after it makes sense - one, it's an emotional release after a stressful happening. Two - it is a goodbye. Although you are not looking to have more children and have wisely chosen to be responsible about it, it is still a loss in a way even though it is one you wanted. Like moving to a new house - although you are happy and excited about the move, there's still that bittersweet moment when you close the door on the old house and it's memories for the last time...


:-) M

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They didn't use anesthesia? Tubal litigation is a major surgery, requiring incisions in your abdomen. There is absolutely no way that any legitimate surgeon would perform that surgery without anesthesia. So, either they did put you to sleep and in your mentally and emotionally vulnerable state you imagined the pain, as a manifestation of your remorse, or you have a great big, fucking lawsuit on your hands. Only you know the answer. Given what you said about lessons and punishment, I'm voiting for the first option.

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let me explain further...

i had no insurance so i went to a planned parenthood

so not comfortable to begin with..

then the painkillers they gave me was four 200 mg ibuprofen....

then the iv they hooked up contained only saline because i checked the bag.

he said they would then use local but nothing else got hooked up to or pumped into my iv. the guy had to be 80 and his lunch was getting cold he mentioned...they took an hour and a half rather then the usual 30 minutes to do it then kept joking to each other i actually made them work for once....he did have a syringe and injected me directly into the stomach right before he started to cut but didnt not wait for it to work..now even the dentist uses more then that and waits a few minutes for it to kick it.. i felt the cut i felt the burn i felt the pulling. someone was there to hold my hand and talk me through it so no i was not asleep.

and i cannot sue they know better, thats why you sign paperwork stating you wont sue them before you go in......but with no insurance you dont exactly have a choice..

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You need to get a copy of what you signed and take it to a lawyer. There has to be some way you can get them for malpractise. There are lawyers that work just for this reason and you pay them if they win for you. This is inhumane. I would pursure it.

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