It's been a few days already since I dreamed 2 dreams in which I was a spirit saying my goodbyes to people I know and miss...

What's strange was not the dreams themselves... I'm used to have those precog dreams... What was strange was the fact that I dreamed the first one... woke up... then went to bed again and dreamed again something similar...

In both dreams I was in the same state (spirit) and I knew I was dead... I could still touch people physically... nonetheless, I knew it wasn't for long...

I grew up in the eastern part of the country and at one point, I couldn't stand the my hometown no more... So we, my daughter and I, packed our bags and moved to the western part of the country... We lived there 3 years... then we came back to our hometown (for personal reasons)... and now we're dreaming about the day we'll move back west again... for good this time...

Anyway, since I came back "home", I've enjoyed staying away from my family... Hate the constant drama... So much so that nobody knows where I live... Let me tell you that it feels like heaven not having to hear all the stuff that goes around from sister to sister to brother and mother... and so forth...***PHEW**...

And then, the other day I had those 2 dreams... I knew it wasn't about me... nonetheless, it kept me wondering who it was about...

I went on with my day and then, 5 minutes to midnight, I received a phone call... the person didn't identify himself but asked me to get outside... I didn't go... Yeah, like I'm gonna get outside at that time just coz a lunatic wants me to go outside... I don't think so lol...

Anyway, after a weird night (I'm skipping details here lol)... I went to bed at 7h am... which is not uncommon for me coz I'm a night owl...

When I woke up, I checked my emails and saw that I had one from my older brother... It turns out he was the lunatic and he wanted to make a surprise... Normal I hadn't recognized his voice since it's been years since I've last spoken with him and his voice, naturally, changed...

My first 2 emails to him was me giving him a piece of my mind!... Then things calmed down and we've been emailing back and forth... He told me that he had been searching for me and was ecstatic to have found me...

We've talked about many things, though throughout our emails, he's been avoiding telling me why he so desperately wanted to find me and talk to me again...

I told him about my 2 dreams and the "coincidence" of him suddenly appearing in my life right the same day I had those dreams... He didn't mention anything about it...

I don't know if I should think this, it's just that over the years, my precog has extremely rarely been wrong (like I always say, we can always change the outcome of it through the choices we make), and so I'm wondering if he's not dying... of what? I donno... I just know that for some unknown reason, I started telling him about a Doctor in Texas who has found a cure for almost all types of cancers...

I don't believe in coincidences and I think that, who knows, maybe he does have cancer...

I've been trying to see if he'd open up on his health... to no avail... yesterday, I had to bluntly ask him why he had been searching for me... If he really wanted to communicate with me, he already had my email... no point in showing up at my old address (lol yeah, he found my old address and thought I was still living there lol) and ask me to go outside my apartment in the middle of the night...

So now, I'm waiting to see what's gonna be his answer... if he'll give one... Who knows, maybe he'll chose to talk about other things and skip that part...

I'm sad inside... I'm doing my best to keep on smiling and all... it's just that I know him... I know that when he doesn't talk, that's a bad sign...

We didn't get along at all, him and I, when we were growing up... We had our moments of understanding when we became adults... Nonetheless, it took us both a long time to get over a lot of stuff that happened in the past... And now, I took the opportunity that our email communication gave me, to tell him that I forgave him for all the stuff I went through coz of him lol... Oh boy! Can you imagine your older brother constantly framing you for stuff that you didn't do lolol... And, gee! my mother was on my case for those things and I got beaten up and grounded for them lol... He would do bad stuff and then convince my mother that I had done it lol... Not fun spending my whole youth being framed lolol...

Anyway, it's part of the past and there's no point in dwelling on it lol...

I'm just now wondering what's going on with him... to know why he's contacted me after so many years...

I just hope that no matter what the reason is, he can finally find some sort of peace knowing that, even though I do not wish to be part of that family again, I still love and respect my brother...